Can you critique an LP for me?

For Warrior Forum type writers, either one of those might work, test and see.

Professional writers will probably flee quickly.

What traffic generation methods will be used?

gjabiz

Forum posting, actually in WF and a few online marketing related forums.

I'm actually trying to target writers who are interested in "make money online" topics.

The first is the lander, second is the thank you / upsell page.

I'm getting the lead magnet done today, and the videos tonight or tomorrow, so I'll be testing this week.

Just wanting to make sure there's no glaring issues before I start. I've had enough setbacks lately.

That's the critique I was looking for.

Yeah, when they give me their email, they get the free handbook in the TY page. Then leading into the OTO.

I can remove the "Free" image completely, on the thank you page.

In your opinion, would that clear up the confusion on the TY page?

Thanks for taking the time to help me out!

Attention aspiring web writers:


It'll clarify what your handbook is about.

- Rick Duris

PS: If you're looking for ideas on how to do that, take a look at this:

http://www.what-is-coaching.com/supp..._file_048b.pdf

Thanks for the advice, Rick, gja!

I made a few tweaks and put it back together. I took out that entire image, so I hope it didn't lessen the impact. I started to see it as a distraction, especially on the upsell page.

This is the new version. If you can, make sure I didn't make any mistakes trying to fix stuff. That's also something I'm good at! ;/

Thanks again for the help. I'm going to get the lead magnet done now.

After editing that, I'm wondering about even having the $1 in there at all?

And just aiming to get them clicking from the TY page to another sales page with the $1 trial in it? Would that be a better route to take?

Promoting the newsletter for free, and then inside of the newsletter start offering up the upsell?

In other words, just focus on building my list for now, and then work on converting them later on?

Here's my best advice:

Hire a copywriter to critique and improve this landing page. You're leaving a lot of opportunity on the table.

Here's the reason: Writers will see this copy and immediately know you're not a writer, or at the very least, a copywriter.

For instance:

"I recently did a test to see something."

Better:

"I recently did a small test to find out something."

You really should sound like a good copywriter. (Or maybe you don't. Maybe you want to show even a person with mediocre writing skills can make $2000 in a week. )

I'm not trying to beat you up, I just want to see you do well. I would encourage you to approach a couple writers you respect.

Good luck.

- Rick Duris

I'm not taking it as getting beat up by any means. It took a bit for me to get over myself and actually post it up here, but I want to learn how to sell with words, so it's all constructive criticism in my eyes. I'm trying to learn actual marketing, and leverage the skills I've already got from spamming. This is definitely a lot harder than spamming -- that's for sure!

Seeing your comment makes me wonder again if I'm not just spinning my wheels. Trying to get writers to see the benefit of email marketing? Is that the right way to go about it, at least? From a marketing perspective?

My original intent was to show freelance writers how to make $2k in a week. Then upsell them into email marketing, since they're already a writer they have half the battle won.

I'm considering dropping the newsletter and going straight into selling them on the perks of email marketing on the thank you page -- stemming from gja's advice.

I'm going to revisit it with a pencil and paper to see what I can come up with. I'm considering your offer on hiring a copywriter.

I'll keep posting my edits and plans for changes here, so if you want to keep offering up tips I'm more than appreciative, and will put them to use! I'm grateful for the advice! I learn best in a trial by fire.

This is a test / learning project for me. I do have an offline business I'm considering your offer for.