4 postcards mailed, which was the winner?

9 years ago

I'd say they're for four different audiences... so it depends on the audience...

young mothers... men... and the elderly, I'd guess...

All 4 are going into my swipe file!

Interesting thread, dr. vile. Are these yours?

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ewenmack

9 years ago

Originally Posted by splitTest

I'd say they're for three different audiences... so it depends on the audience...

young mothers... men... and the elderly, I'd guess...

All 3 are going into my swipe file!

They all went to every mailbox in the same 2 zip codes.

Best,
Doctor E. Vile

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splitTest 9 years ago

Then I'd say the last one... Has a clearer deadline in the subhead & more urgency...
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- Alex Cohen 9 years ago
  
  I also guess #4...
  
  It stokes real, honest-to-goodness FEAR.
  
  (And I say "guess", because I've never tested those four hooks against one another.)
  
  Alex
  
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angiecolee

9 years ago

I have an unfair advantage (and I suspect a mutual connection) in this competition. I'll keep my mouth shut (or fingers still as it were) and see what interesting observations others may have.

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velvet

9 years ago

Hi ewenmack,
I fear it is the fourth one.

A bit scary...

What's even more scary is those kids look like my sister and I in the early sixtys.

Where did you get that photo? :>)

cheers, Mal.

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colmodwyer

9 years ago

One I reckon.

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Steve The Copywriter

9 years ago

Aren't Postcards phenomenal… great Ads, straight to the target audience, at a very low cost with the real potential for a stratospheric return.

You would think 4 should win.

But their is a "flaw"

The good people reading it may feel duped - when they realise the "company" is not endorsed by the government.

So I go for the first one.

Steve

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Princess Balestra

9 years ago

3 speaks to me & I'm guessing has the broader appeal.

Agree with Alex & Steve on 4 — there's fear, but also a big catch.

1 looks neat, but when you see it close up against the others in all their anti-bug yellow glory, it's not so good.

As for 2, bring on the mosquitoes. If there are kids in my yard, better bring a shotgun also. Pesky varmints.

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RickDuris

9 years ago

These are really well thought out. I'm going with #1.

But for the life of me, I think the silent objection is the public trend against pesticides, in general. If the company is spraying or laying down pesticides, they should test inoculating against that objection upfront.

The other thing I'd test is scaring the sh!t out of people when it comes to the West Nile Virus.

- Rick Duris

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Oziboomer

9 years ago

Just throwing something in the mix because I've made my choice elsewhere...

As of the census[3] of 2010, there were 5,802 people, 2,587 households, and 1,386 families residing in the city. The population density was 3,500 people per square mile (1,400/km²). There were 2,587 housing units at an average density of 1,577 per square mile (616/km²). The racial makeup of the city was 75.2% African American, 16.8% White, 0.4% Native American, 3.3% Asian, 0.2% Pacific Islander, 2.5% from other races, and 1.6% from two or more races. Hispanic or Latino of any race were 5.3% of the population.

There were 2,587 households out of which 38.7% had children under the age of 18 living with them, 29.2% were married couples living together, 27.7% had a female householder with no husband present, and 36.8% were non-families. 29.9% of all households were made up of individuals and 5.1% had someone living alone who was 65 years of age or older. The average household size was 2.64 and the average family size was 3.33.

In the city the population was spread out with 28.8% under the age of 18, 9.5% from 18 to 24, 29.3% from 25 to 44, 25.4% from 45 to 64, and 7.0% who were 65 years of age or older. The median age was 32.8 years. For every 100 females there were 66.5 males. For every 100 females age 18 and over, there were 74.7 males age 18 and over.

In the 2000 census (financial information was not asked on the 2010 census) the median income for a household in the city was $38,603, and the median income for a family was $40,888. Males had a median income of $28,302 versus $28,854 for females. The per capita income for the city was $16,130. About 9.3% of families and 11.5% of the population were below the poverty line, including 17.2% of those under age 18 and 7.1% of those age 65 or over.

Does that influence your choice?

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Lance K

9 years ago

I'd guess #4 with #2 a close 2nd.

Edit: Although #1 has very good mass appeal and a cut to the chase headline that's quite strong. Also I'm all for the attention getting yellow, but find the black on white a little easier to read.

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BrianMcLeod

9 years ago

You're planning to credit the source of these eventually, right Ewen?

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RickDuris 9 years ago

Originally Posted by BrianMcLeod

You're planning to credit the source of these eventually, right Ewen?

I'd also credit not just who but where. It's only fair to credit the source.
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.:mAestro:.

9 years ago

I'm going for the 2nd.

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shawnlebrun

9 years ago

I remember this same type of "choose the winner" in Gary Bencivenga's
retirement seminar, where he had people guessing the winner of A/B split tests.

And since every single frickin guess I had was wrong, I'm going with #1, simply
because it almost feels like the least likely to win, so it's probably the winner.

So, #1 is my guess. I'm kinda itchy and scratchy after reading this sh*t.

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shawnlebrun

9 years ago

Although now that I think of it, the "kids" angle is pretty popular too.

I wrote a postcard about 5 years ago for a local carpet cleaner and
my headline was "Are Your Carpets Killing Your Kids?"

Went on to talk about mold, allergens, etc...

But it beat their control by a lot, simply using the kids angle.

Sh*t, did I just make it sound like it's okay to exploit kids?

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Princess Balestra

9 years ago

Yeah, kids — see that Disney poster paradise you call a BEDROOM?

Tonight, when you're sleepin' in there, all snuggled and safe alongside all your cartoon heroes and friends, those big ole nasty guys are gonna come load up your bed with KILLER BUGS.

No more findin' Nemes — we're gonna load your up your flesh with all the biting, chomping, buzzing, hopping, stinging, creepy crawly bug memes we can, till your flesh is red raw from from freakin' out, and your screams can be heard two blocks away.

That's when we wantcha to holler to Mom and Dad

Pleez pleez pleez pleez pleez go get the bug stuff Mommy!

Kill all the nasty!

PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEZ!

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Princess Balestra 9 years ago

Then maybe follow through with another postcard offering to kidnap hamsters and bunny rabbits.

If it works, you can sell 'em on to the "guests" who bought card #3.

Cheap Tasty Burgers...
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DanSharp

9 years ago

Number 4 is my guess.

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splitTest

9 years ago

I'm kinda torn between #4 and #1. (The other two seem to target smaller "niche" demographics.)

Number one has the clear benefit in the headline, complete with "guaranteed" ...and segues right into the offer of "free" service in the opener. That's strong, with mass appeal, but it also has the plain-jane design, no eye-catching image, etc... You have just seconds to catch attention... this one doesn't seem to do it well... Also doesn't agitate the mosquito problem at all...

Number four has the headline that grabs attention and has the fact that it's a limited-time offer prominent in the subhead... Also makes the problem more urgent, with the disease factor... And cites CDC advisories that might have been in the news...

However as others have mentioned, it strains the reader's credulity.

I would buy from #1 more readily than #4. I'd see through #4's attempt to appear "official" and the shadiness would turn me off.

... But still I'm gonna say #4 pulled the best. Strong headline & clear urgency counts for a lot. It seems to have all the right stuff & I'd be surprised if it isn't the winner.

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TakenAction

9 years ago

I'd day #2 or #4.

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chillheart

9 years ago

Heh. No one is saying #3

#1 is plain but it's the most clear in its message--no images as a distraction, better readability, and CONTACT INFO right to the side. Plus the headline doesn't have roundabout benefits.

#2 is "Think Of The Children!" which I'm sure a lot of people would (understandably) care about. But that's all it has going for itself.

#4 has an Authority angle... but it's a bit misleading (the service is a private company). Yet it plays on people's fear of disease(s).

Overall...

I'm going with #1 as the winner.

With #4 as a close second.

Don't leave us hangin', Ewen

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ewenmack

9 years ago

Originally Posted by Complex

My gut says 4 but my gut's usually way-off base.

I don't know?

I would of thanked all if the Thank You buttons were working.

I would of quoted you Brian and Rick individually,
if the quote buttons were working.

I'm not even able to make a new comment as every
thing leads to this box.

Anyways, Yes Brian I will mention who wrote those postcards and the link
to the interview.

There is a reason I believe the winner won, which nobody has mentioned,
including the creator of it.

Does anybody see what I see?

Best,
Doctor E. Vile

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Steve The Copywriter

9 years ago

Originally Posted by ewenmack

I would of thanked all if the Thank You buttons were working.

I would of quoted you Brian and Rick individually,
if the quote buttons were working.

I'm not even able to make a new comment as every
thing leads to this box.

Anyways, Yes Brian I will mention who wrote those postcards and the link
to the interview.

There is a reason I believe the winner won, which nobody has mentioned,
including the creator of it.

Does anybody see what I see?

Best,
Doctor E. Vile

Ewen,

I see the company name on Postcard 1

The Mosquito Authority.

With the email address bugsbite.com.

Both are rather good and with the excellent copy is the reason why (once again) I think 1 should be the winner.

Steve

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splitTest 9 years ago

Originally Posted by ewenmack

There is a reason I believe the winner won, which nobody has mentioned, including the creator of it.

Does anybody see what I see?

Best,
Doctor E. Vile

Other than the company name & prominent contact info on postcard 1 (which is a biggie), postcard 4 has "exclusivity" going for it -- "Free mosquito treatment for Stone Mountain home owners", "free treatment to residents of Stone Mountain", "Public Notice: Stone Mountain, GA"...

"It is found that an offer limited to a certain class of people is far more effective than a general offer. For instance, an offer limited to veterans of the war. Or to members of a lodge or sect. Or to executives. Those who are entitled to any seeming advantage will go a long way not to lose that advantage." -- Scientific Advertising

?
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TjarkHartmann

9 years ago

I would say #1 for a couple of reasons...

1. The company contact information on the top right is really easy to spot, and makes it possible to reply right when convinced and not hunt for the number in the copy or below the picture.

2. Adding the brand name and logo adds credibility/authority (not to mention this gives a hint that it's being used after the company became successful.)

3. The benefit of having no mosquito's doesn't need to be explained... and even if it did, making it specific while sending it to the same general population is a waste. And some people may take "Spray the mosquito's... not your kids!" the wrong way. Annnd spraying mosquito's also implies putting in work. I can just imagine hunting down every mosquito with a little spray can. Not fun. Oh, the headlines for 2, 3, and 4 lean more on curiosity.

I think #4 grabbed the most attention. But people got pissed off and lost trust when they realized it was advertising a companies services... sort of shady. May have been better if they showed their company wants to keep people safe, not making it a life or death situation.

This is just pure speculation and has nothing to do with copywriting: isn't it odd there is only one which is in a different format and color scheme? Or (finally) a professional company logo? I would be willing to bet it's #1 just because of those two reasons.

Edit: Just caught the deadline and time frame for #4... but... I'll stand by #1.

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Claude Whitacre 9 years ago

I think #1 and #4 are going to be the top two.

The reason I think #1 is the best, is because the headline give a clear benefit.

Postcard # 4 had a great headline as well. It implies that it is segmenting the readership....but I'll bet nearly everyone reading it says, "Hey! I was bitten by a mosquito! This applies to me"

It's a masterful way of sounding really specific, while covering just about everyone.

I would assume #3 is the weakest. It's a weak appeal. It doesn't grab.

But if I were a betting man, I'd pick #1. It would be the most likely to get me to call.

Ewen is enjoying seeing us squirm...just a little too much. Spill it, Ewen!
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ewenmack

9 years ago

There seems to be some negativity towards #4 due to the impression
the reader is slightly duped.

If you read it refers to the company as "they".

More of a reporter style rather than a "we" style
the other postcards convey.

Best,
Doctor E. Vile

P.S. Great discussion everybody...gets the thinking
activated as why one message works better than
others in a specific market.

Thanks
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Claude Whitacre

9 years ago

Originally Posted by ewenmack

There seems to be some negativity towards #4 due to the impression
the reader is slightly duped.

If you read it refers to the company as "they".

More of a reporter style rather than a "we" style
the other postcards convey.

Best,
Doctor E. Vile

P.S. Great discussion everybody...gets the thinking
activated as why one message works better than
others in a specific market.

Are you getting at the fact that #1 has the guarantee as the headline?

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ewenmack 9 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

Are you getting at the fact that #1 has the guarantee as the headline?

No Claude.

Nothing to read between the lines of my comment about #4 postcard.

Best,
Doctor E. Vile
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Lance K

9 years ago

Originally Posted by ewenmack

There seems to be some negativity towards #4 due to the impression
the reader is slightly duped.

If you read it refers to the company as "they".

More of a reporter style rather than a "we" style
the other postcards convey.

Best,
Doctor E. Vile

P.S. Great discussion everybody...gets the thinking
activated as why one message works better than
others in a specific market.

That's one thing I did notice. The other 3 were "we, we, we".

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Steve The Copywriter

9 years ago

Dr Vile,

It may be you feel that 4 is a "reporter" style Ad.

But of course you know the intention is to make it "look" and "read" like an official Public Notice fully endorsed by a government authority.

It may well be the winner - although I still prefer the honesty and great copy on Postcard 1 (and it is very congruent with the website).

Rule 1 - never try and hoodwink the readers - because it only comes back and bites you far worse than a dozen mosquitos.

Rule 2 - And never do this on Postcards - because it demeans the worlds greatest advertising medium (apart from parchment, scrolls and paper it may well have been the worlds first "modern" advertising medium).

Steve

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TjarkHartmann

9 years ago

What's on my mind is if #4 did do the best, did it also do the best in terms of people calling for another treatment?

Considering it created a need that seems to be short-term and in the moment... would the "Oh shit, I need to protect myself and my family" feeling be strong enough after 3 weeks?

Ewen, if you have those statistics, could you please share them? I'm really curious.

Either way, thanks for the post. Love doing challenges like this and seeing what others have to say.

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Lance K

9 years ago

Originally Posted by TjarkHartmann

What's on my mind is if #4 did do the best, did it also do the best in terms of people calling for another treatment?

Considering it created a need that seems to be short-term and in the moment... would the "Oh shit, I need to protect myself and my family" feeling be strong enough after 3 weeks?

Ewen, if you have those statistics, could you please share them? I'm really curious.

Either way, thanks for the post. Love doing challenges like this and seeing what others have to say.

Hopefully The Mosquito Authority was smart enough to call them when it was time for the next treatment rather than just waiting for the phone to ring.

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Alex Cohen 9 years ago

Hey y'all... those of you asking for the answer are giving up your power. Way too needy.

Curiosity is just an emotion. Easily turned off.

Blink. Done.

See how easy that was?

LOL

Alex
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Steve The Copywriter

9 years ago

Before Ewan spills the beans (assuming he will… without anymore piss poor excuses about the interweb not letting him type… Whoever heard of such nonsense, the web not working, glitches, disconnections etc etc…Surely these technical problems never happen… because isn't a business perfectly safe and robust when it absolutely depends on a good old telephone line swaying in the wind or a sliver of micro thin fibre optic cable buried under rubble…all backed up with can't ever, ever fail software...

Of course in the unlikely event that the interweb does let you down - you can always send out Postcards).

Anyway...A word of caution.

Copywriters tend to hyper analyze Ads (from headlines to phrasing to wordplay, positioning to deals, fonts to colours you name it we dissect it until it deconstructs and explodes into 10,757 scattered bits).

Now, if a Postcard with some decent copy and a good offer promising to solve a bug problem lands on your doorstep and you've just been bitten on the ass by a mosquito…

There's a fair to reasonable to excellent chance you might respond.

Steve

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Princess Balestra 9 years ago

yeah, get a move on, Ewen...
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- GlenH 9 years ago
  
  For me it’s ad #1.
  
  Is speaks to ‘me’ on a much more personal level than the other three ads.
  
  Tony’s given his email…his physical address, and he’s given an added office phone number (besides the free recorded message number) all of which helps to build up his credibility and honesty. And the headline hooks me in quickly too.
  
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shawnlebrun

9 years ago

On a separate note, Ewen also demonstrated the power of curiosity and the "cliff hanger" effect that I use a lot in emails to my list.

I took Andre Chaperon's course years ago, and learned about peoples' need to want to know what happens/end result right away.

so, a lot of my best email series have used what Ewen has demonstrated here... leaving people hanging and the "cliff hanger" effect.

In some of my emails, I tell a story a piece at a time, and of course it's relevant to their needs/wants/motivations.

But, I don't give it all up front... so it keeps people coming back to my emails.

Ewen did a hell of a job with creating curiosity and that "cliff hanger" effect with this.

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AmericanMuscleTA

9 years ago

You're killin' us, Ewen!!! Here and on the offline forum!!

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ewenmack

9 years ago

The reason why I believe the winner worked so well is
because of the writer tapped into a reader's response mechanism
that nobody has mentioned.

This mechanism works against ad writers mostly.

If done right like the writer has done,
then more response becomes assured.

Best,
Doctor E. Vile

P.S. Being aware of this reader's response mechanism
enabled me to turn around a bad response to a postcard written by Joe Polish.

Thanks
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Lance K

9 years ago

Originally Posted by ewenmack

The reason why I believe the winner worked so well is
because of the writer tapped into a reader's response mechanism
that nobody has mentioned.

This mechanism works against ad writers mostly.

If done right like the writer has done,
then more response becomes assured.

Best,
Doctor E. Vile

P.S. Being aware of this reader's response mechanism
enabled me to turn around a bad response to a postcard written by Joe Polish.

I'll take a stab. Is it the "or someone you know" component of the headline in #4. Appeals to people's desire to be in the know (curiosity) and once they know, they'll be able to pass along helpful information to others?

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Princess Balestra

9 years ago

"The reason why I believe the winner worked so well is
because of the writer tapped into a reader's response mechanism
that nobody has mentioned."

Slappin' that on my next T.

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RickDuris

9 years ago

Version #1 is a very simple premise. Try before you buy. Experience the results in advance.

- Rick Duris

PS: On a side note, the "We've already got clients in the neighborhood...", should not go unnoticed to local marketers. It's the foundation for an extremely successful promotion in one of my local markets.

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ewenmack 9 years ago

Originally Posted by RickDuris

Version #1 is a very simple premise. Try before you buy. Experience the results in advance.

- Rick Duris

That was a BIG coup for the writer to get the marketer
to provide the free treatment.

All 4 of the the postcards make the same offer,
although postcard 4 is buried deeper and possibly
not as clear.

Best,
Doctor E. Vile
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Steve The Copywriter

9 years ago

Yes I've always said number 1 should be the winner.

I'm all for curiosity. It does work.

But 47 posts later is pushing it a bit.

So, tell us about this "dream" response mechanism. We'll be delighted to add it to our copy technique armoury.

Then we can wrap this up and get on with our lives a little richer than before (me … I'll still be knocking out Postcards or helping Princess B print T shirts).

Remember, we don't want the good people to get bored and lose interest do we?

Steve

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ewenmack

9 years ago

Originally Posted by Steve The Copywriter

Yea I've always said number 1 should be the winner.

I'm all for curiosity. It does work.

But 47 posts is pushing it a bit.

So, tell us about this "dream" response mechanism. We'll be delighted to add it to our copy technique armoury.

Then we can wrap this up and get on with our lives a little richer than before (me ... I'll still be knocking out Postcards or helping Princess B print T shirts).

We wouldn't want the good people to get bored and lose interest would we?

Steve

C'mon Steve, as ad writers we have to dig deeper than anybody else to
come up with reasons why people don't respond, then fix it.

So why wouldn't people respond as well to 3 of them
as to the other?

Best,
Doctor E. Vile

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RickDuris

9 years ago

Originally Posted by ewenmack

C'mon Steve, as ad writers we have to dig deeper than anybody else to
come up with reasons why people don't respond, then fix it.

So why wouldn't people respond as well to 3 of them
as to the other?

Best,
Doctor E. Vile

Actually, in my book, guessing is something that should be preferably avoided. But, to each his own.

In this case, I believe Ewen is kinda sorta teasing you. (In a good natured way. With the best of intentions, no doubt.)

The trick here is to shut off that part of your brain that likes to analyze things.

- Rick Duris

PS: I've been sharing this with inner circle friends recently. It offers clear clues on how the brain works. I got a lot out of it. I hope you do, too.

Jill Bolte Taylor: My stroke of insight | TED Talk | TED.com

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ewenmack 9 years ago

Originally Posted by RickDuris

The trick here is to shut off that part of your brain that likes to analyze things.

- Rick Duris

As society in general, we'd be much worse off it wasn't for the curious minded.

The world population now has a much longer life expectancy thanks
to knowing how to combat disease.

Crime mysteries are being solved by analyzing things.

Things we take for granted everyday and scream murder
if they were taken away from us came about by curious minds.

What gets people to say yes while other ads get people to say no
is also a field for those who have a ongoing curiosity.

We hear that Jay Abraham has it and the late Marty Endelson
had it in spades.

We hear that others who are and have been at the top of the direct response world
out work others. By work it means digging deeper and wider in research.

Why this winning postcard won, beyond the surface what triggered more
to say yes, what was the core principle at play here.

Getting to the bottom of this then applying it to
other markets, where there's a plethora of others saying
similar things...to me that's the prize here at stake.

Why settle for being less than #1?

Best,
Doctor E. Vile
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- RickDuris 9 years ago
  
  Ewen, no one's knocking the value of analysis and curiousity.
  
  My personal strategy is just letting stuff hit me, whether it's persuasive writing, art, movies, music... THEN noticing my emotional reaction to it. Without trying to prematurely analyze what makes it work or not work.
  
  Why? Because that first experience is precious to me. Because I can never unsee or un-experience something. I don't want my preconceived notions to interfer with the initial experience.
  
  It would spoil it. Much the way a friend would ruin the experience of a movie by revealing how it ends.
  
  With regards to the different pieces, it's what allowed me to make my choice without analysis. I just let each piece hit me and then decided based upon my emotional reaction. Not based upon technical merits.
  
  There'll be a time for analysis, no doubt. Just not when you're experiencing something for the first time.
  
  Just sit back and enjoy the ride, as they say.
  
  - Rick Duris
  
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Steve The Copywriter

9 years ago

Originally Posted by ewenmack

C'mon Steve, as ad writers we have to dig deeper than anybody else to
come up with reasons why people don't respond, then fix it.

So why wouldn't people respond as well to 3 of them
as to the other?

Best,
Doctor E. Vile

I think I answered that in thread 39.

It seems so long ago I can't remember.

I can say this - if I do 3 Postcards for a client.

And lets say the first one zooms past the others with a higher response.

The client doesn't say, "Steve, for f*** sake fix up number 2 and 3"

Instead they say "Steve, for f*** sake lets keep sending out number 1"

Steve

P.S. Tell you what though, I am indebted to you, you have boosted the awareness of the magnificence of Postcard advertising on multiple forums (2 to be precise). Seriously, many thanks.

So…we may as well keep the mystery going and hope the good people don't get fatigued and start ripping up pieces of card saying "Enough, enough lets do interweb stuff and talk about websites."

I hate it when that happens.

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MontelloMarketing

9 years ago

Okay... I never partake in these experiments, but I think it's so obvious I have to say #1.

Of course I could be wrong, but if I were mailing I'd bet money on that one being the winner for a few reasons.

1. Simple clean design.
2. Contact info clear.
3. Guarantee in the headline.
4. The definitive nature of the headline promise doesn't mention any of the "emotions" that play in the other 3... and yet, if you are the audience for any of the other 3, you are also the audience for this card. The benefits are a natural extension of the definitive headline.

There you go... that's what my spidey senses tell me.

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yragcom1

9 years ago

Originally Posted by MontelloMarketing

Okay... I never partake in these experiments, but I think it's so obvious I have to say #1.

Of course I could be wrong, but if I were mailing I'd bet money on that one being the winner for a few reasons.

1. Simple clean design.
2. Contact info clear.
3. Guarantee in the headline.
4. The definitive nature of the headline promise doesn't mention any of the "emotions" that play in the other 3... and yet, if you are the audience for any of the other 3, you are also the audience for this card. The benefits are a natural extension of the definitive headline.

There you go... that's what my spidey senses tell me.

I'm guessing #1 as well. It's the only one that take a preventative approach, so I can see people acting on it over a longer period of time after it's been recieved, especially with the implied guarantee.

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TjarkHartmann

9 years ago

The more I think about WHY someone would want to get rid of ALL mosquitos versus using other, cheaper do it yourself methods, the more I want to change my answer to #4.

Postcard 4 gave a new, compelling reason to eliminate every last mosquito -- pretty difficult to do for the average person. And it convinced those who didn't care/didn't think it was a problem to have mosquitos in their yard (or thought they can take care of it themselves) that it is a problem. A problem worth hiring professionals for!

It showed the specific dangers of mosquitos that people may not be aware of, and described symptoms that are pretty common. So there's a good chance to at least know someone who had the symptoms in the last 30 days. And people are paranoid. They could create the "symptoms" in their head and connect the dots to say "It was those damn mosquitos"...

The mosquito authority attached their service to the CDC -- well-known, respected, and seen as focused only on battling against horrible diseases, which adds an extra umph of importance: "If the CDC is involved in this, it's gotta be serious." Maybe the reader could even conclude that the reason a free treatment is being offered is because the CDC made it possible.

Postcard 4 also gave suggestions to keep mosquitos away before offering their services... maybe that made them feel like they have more of a choice... like they are more in control. I think the only way this method works is if the other options have a flaw. So in this case, to get rid of all the mosquitos, you have to get your yard treated professionally.

At the end of the day, postcard 4 was the only one to create a need (and therefore more value) for their service. The others hoped that people would already see the benefit of getting rid of every. single. little. mosquito. Now... now I can see postcard 4 doing much better than the rest.

Ok. Number 4! Final answer.

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gemmom24

9 years ago

I'd say #1.

I live in Louisiana, where mosquitoes are the size of small dogs. If someone guaranteed my yard would be free of these suckers, I'd bite in a heartbeat. (sorry, couldn't resist.)

#1 isn't glamorous or sexy. But it's clear, convincing and would prompt me to buy -- or at least get more info on the company.

The other three aren't as compelling.

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fasteasysuccess

9 years ago

I know you originally posted this in the offline section as well and you thanked it when I guessed 4 and sticking with that, but noticed something else when re-read them real quick that may be even more reason won.

4 was also the only one with a specific dated deadline for the "local people:. so...

If had to guess without any other facts, i'd choose #4...

deadline, targeted locally (and looks like could be from city), looks like news and throws some fear in there.

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splitTest

9 years ago

So Dr. Vile -- are you saying #1 pulled best? ('Cause I'm still thinking it's #4...)

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Steve The Copywriter

9 years ago

I always ask myself - what does my target audience want?

Yes, yes, yes I can use and fuse 1,597 copy and persuasion techniques.

But essentially the core value is…

An irresistible offer - something they just can't say "no" to.

It might be price, emotion or just common sense (ideally a mixture of all 3).

A limited time to respond - so they have to act now.

And something valuable free - so they are rewarded. for having the good judgement to buy now.

An lo and beyond the response is (usually) outstanding.

There is absolutely no reason why "selling" has to be difficult, complex or convoluted.

Steve

P.S. No need to write an epic 97 page spiel to do this on an interweb site. It can easily be done with around 10% of the wondrous words on a Postcard or a Flyer.

And if you insist on having a "pitch" in cyberspace trying to compete with a trillion other sites - you can get an exceptional edge by mentioning your site on a postcard or flyer.

Your audience eagerly types the URL into whatever gadget they use.

But do remember, they prefer using the device to log into Facebook or having a quick Tweet.

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Princess Balestra

9 years ago

Originally Posted by RickDuris

Why? Because that first experience is precious to me. Because I can never unsee or un-experience something. I don't want my preconceived notions to interfer with the initial experience.
- Rick Duris

This is a swinger swanger.

If we could figure a way to prevent preconceived notions from interfering with initial (or any) experiences, we could max out on the Buddha deal at the heart of all emotesell, ie yeah, hang out, chill, just BE. What Is = My Happy.

Swat we all want (sorry, mosquitoes), ain't it? Just to BE? Like the sandal guys, only we gotta have Nike to make it?

Thing is, when we're talking to any target audience and 'knowing the market', the bull's eye is smacko all that preconceived notion kinda stuff.

What do these guys WANT? Figure that, and we can sell 'em stuff. Every post here is based on deconstructing these kinda preconceived notions so folks can cerebrally suck profit by tapping emotions.

I guess the secret lies in splitting hairs on the preconceived notions deal, seeing how we gotta play that way to have some appeal, but also recognizing that we all want surprises too. Gollum tarnished the sheen on 'precious', bless the scrawny assed f*cker, but he knew value beyond dollars when he saw it. So, yeah, we all want genuine heartpoundy gamoosh born of newiness and nowiness — in evidence, tange-to-touch (or ununseeable) — or else we all quit now and big up on being dead.

Give people exactly what they want, and nothing changes. Sounds great, but it's a recipe for rot. "If you do what you've always done then you'll get what you've always got." The Mind Warrs have this despite their neurotwango because it happens to be true.

Problem is, change means not staying the same. It's inevitable, but people figure they can fix time and life somehow by buying all kinds of crap. And we're the dumbasses who force them to choose from THIS (carefully calibrated, vampiric) IRRESISTIBLE OPTION!

We should prolly shoot ourselves for breaking out the manacles this way when the unfolding moment springs all kinds of freedoms from the trap (and deep down, we all know it).

In a universe of flux, feeding one another all our favorite things is how we get to be stuck.

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Steve The Copywriter

9 years ago

…sometimes and it's a dream to work on….

The good people hate the way things are and…

Desperately want… to change.

The possibilities are endless.

Steve

P.S. I love it when the "audience" doesn't want anymore stuff.

"So, Steve what do you sell them?"

Freedom.

P.P.S. This'll teach Dr Vile for overdoing the curiosity, mystery and intrique…we can sidetrack and delve deeply into philosophy.

Less is always more.

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chillheart

9 years ago

This whole thread is a lie! Ewen made this stuff up as a case study for the Zeigarnik Effect!

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Princess Balestra

9 years ago

Sounds like a Spielberg movie.

That guy sure figured the narrative of interruption

Ford was merely a bonus.

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ewenmack

9 years ago

Drum roll...

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE WINNING POSTCARD IS...

#4

Dean Jackson was the man who engineered them all.

Here he talks about the thinking behind why he chose
those approaches.

Copy Chief – Episode 1 – The Truth About Dean Jackson

The thing is, I believe there was a trigger what
caused the other 3 to get more no's.

Dean or anybody else on this thread has not uncovered it yet.

It was the same reason why Joe Polish's carpet cleaning postcard got
dismal results for my client.

It's going to be very valuable to understand what triggers those no's
so you don't do it.

Let's start the second round of discussion on what this no trigger is.

Best,
Doctor E. Vile

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Princess Balestra 9 years ago
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splitTest

9 years ago

Originally Posted by ewenmack

Drum roll...

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE WINNING POSTCARD IS...

#4

Dean Jackson was the man who engineered them all.

Here he talks about the thinking behind why he chose
those approaches.

Copy Chief – Episode 1 – The Truth About Dean Jackson

The thing is, I believe there was a trigger what
caused the other 3 to get more no's.

Dean or anybody else on this thread has not uncovered it yet.

It was the same reason why Joe Polish's carpet cleaning postcard got
dismal results for my client.

It's going to be very valuable to understand what triggers those no's
so you don't do it.

Let's start the second round of discussion on what this no trigger is.

Best,
Doctor E. Vile

Great thread, Dr. Vile. Sparked some interesting discussion & got the brain cells flutterin'.

Here's what I think was missing from the other three:

#1 misses all the people who don't have much of a mosquito problem.

Sure, it will grab those who are infested. (I was tempted to say #1 would win in fact, because for people who have a big mosquito problem, there's no need for a lot of selling. They're right where you want them in the buying process -- literally itching to buy...)

...But if they don't have many mosquitoes, it's too easy for them to just toss the postcard. Nothing to grab them there, not even the design.

#2 misses the people who don't have kids running around in their yard (& who don't have much of a mosquito problem...)

#3 misses the people who don't entertain much in their yards (& who don't have much of a mosquito problem...).

#4 grabs people whether they have a mosquito problem or not. Whether they have kids or not. Whether they entertain in their yard or not. It's less about the mosquitoes, it's about disease!

Tell people ebola is present and it's spread by mosquitoes, and even people without much of a mosquito problem will want to mosquito-proof their yard toute d'suite (especially if CDC/news reports back up that claim). And the people who have a big mosquito problem will be even more inclined to act. ...So with that argument you get everybody -- infested or not...

...Of course #4 doesn't mention ebola (just "chinkenunga"

) ... but the disease argument (backed by news reports) is a grabber anyway... especially in conjunction with the "free" service and the clear deadline. Small mosquito problem, once tolerable, now becomes impetus enough to act...

So all in all, I'd say the first three leave the prospect an "out" ... #4 much less so.

#4 also works other copy mechanisms well...

That headline is great -- who wouldn't read it? And hopefully they timed the mailing to closely follow the CDC/news announcements ... (which is another big thing the other 3 don't take advantage of...)

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The Copy Nazi

Banned 9 years ago

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NickN

9 years ago

The "no trigger" in the first three could be caused by the question in the first line of body copy.

"Would you like me to come banish all the mosquitoes in your yard for the next 3 weeks for free?"

Well, I don't know. No? I mean, I don't really know who you are. And you haven't given me a "life-or-death" reason to invite you into my home.

#4 doesn't ask the question. Plus, it establishes the business as more professional -- not just some random dude coming to your home and spraying chemicals. Talking about the CDC and seguing into the offer almost makes it seem like the company and the CDC are working together.

-Nick

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Lance K

9 years ago

Originally Posted by NickN

The "no trigger" in the first three could be caused by the question in the first line of body copy.

"Would you like me to come banish all the mosquitoes in your yard for the next 3 weeks for free?"

Well, I don't know. No? I mean, I don't really know who you are. And you haven't given me a "life-or-death" reason to invite you into my home.

Good catch, Nick.

I also noticed that after that initial question in postcards 1-3, the copy switched from "me" to "we".

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MontelloMarketing 9 years ago

There you go.

More proof of why you should test, not guess.
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Steve The Copywriter

9 years ago

We now know the winner.

As all the Postcards offered a free spray that lasted 3 weeks.

Are there any stats on how many people re - booked and bought the continued treatment?

Steve

P.S. Apologies if these figures were mentioned in the interview. I haven't had a chance to listen to it.

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ewenmack

9 years ago

Originally Posted by Steve The Copywriter

P.S. Apologies if these figures were mentioned in the interview. I haven't had a chance to listen to it.

Dean didn't mention the paid uptake.

Two reasons...

1 Client confidentiality

2 This was a new campaign and hadn't had the
numbers come in after the 3 week follow-up.

Best,
Doctor E. Vile

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ewenmack

9 years ago

Here's my thinking why the first 3 got the most no's.

First comes this statement...

"The Public Sort Their Mail Over The Waste Paper Basket".

Gary Halbert said something like that.

So think about the lady of the house...
she has a stack of mail at the bench.

First one's that seem interesting she puts to the side.

Second group she knows are bill's and put's them in another pile.

The third group go straight to the trash.

So she see the words mosquito's and treatment.

Yes she agree's she has some but she uses repellent
so not interested.

No matter which one of the first 3 postcards she reads,
she's not interested.

This is the key principle in play here,
no matter how good the offer, how it's dressed up,
she's already said no.

Same with even the most effective postcard by Joe Polish
for carpet cleaners ran out of steam.

Because as soon as she reads carpet cleaning
she say's no because her carpets are fine.

Even if you say the cleaning process removes more dirt than anybody else,
the chemicals are safe for the environment the kids the pets,
educate her about the bait and switch practices used in the industry...

she's not calling because she thinks her carpets are clean.

So the underlying principal here is as soon as she knows what the postcard is about
ie, mosquito removal, carpet cleaning, she makes a split second decision to say no or yes.

The way to get more to turn off the no, is to bring in some new news.

In the mosquito case, Dean Jackson pulled in the notice
off the Government Agency web site.

I'm not commenting on the ethics of doing it, just pointing out
it was new news used to turn off the no's.

In the carpet cleaning case, I used dust mites
as the new news.

The problem we have as marketers and ad writers,
is the public label us in a split second.

"Oh it's a bug removal guy.
No thanks, don't need you."

"Oh it's a carpet cleaning guy.
No thanks, my carpets aren't dirty."

If it's the wrong label, we are trashed.

Now there's always going to be a small percentage who
are ready to buy at that time the message hits their eyes.

To get a bigger share of the market requires us to
bring some new news, so we aren't labeled other than
"this is interesting".

And you do this before they can put the old label on you.

Now your'e keeping attention and you've
given yourself the opportunity to tell your whole compelling story.

There you go, you've seen under the hood why your readers and the readers of the
bug postcard say no and what to do to get more to say yes, I want that.

According to Doctor E. Vile...anyway.

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The Copy Nazi

Banned 9 years ago

Originally Posted by ewenmack

In the mosquito case, Dean Jackson pulled in the notice
off the Government Agency web site.

I'm not commenting on the ethics of doing it, just pointing out
it was new news used to turn off the no's.

I don't know how it works in Georgia but other U.S. States definitely prohibit the use of "Public Notice".

For instance the New Jersey Deceptive Advertising & Misleading Advertising and The Consumer Fraud Act states "Cannot use the terms "Public Notice," "Public Sale," or "Liquidation" unless permitted by the Court".

In my book that ad is deceptive. I don't know how Kevin Rogers can say "Sneaky but ethical". It's outright deceptive.

(Caveat: I'm not a lawyer nor do I play one on television or pass myself off as one on public forums.)

Update: here you go. From the Georgia Governors Office of Consumer Protection (as relating to Retail) -

In all other business situations, the use of expressions such as “Public Notice,” “Selling Out,” “Inventory Liquidation,” or “Emergency Sale” would be considered unlawful unless such representations are true

Not sure how that would apply to postcards. But see that word "representation"? That's what it's all about - misrepresentation: to describe (someone or something) in a false way especially in order to deceive someone.

So really, it's not a "public notice" is it? It's an advertisement.

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Oziboomer

9 years ago

Originally Posted by The Copy Nazi

Update: here you go. From the Georgia Governors Office of Consumer Protection (as relating to Retail) - Not sure how that would apply to postcards. But see that word "representation"? That's what it's all about - misrepresentation: to describe (someone or something) in a false way especially in order to deceive someone.

So really, it's not a "public notice" is it? It's an advertisement.

Maybe so but they are not offering something for sale...merely advising residents of the "Public Notice" on the CDC website....

like [QUOTE]

Chikungunya Hits U.S. Mainland
The first locally acquired cases of chikungunya were reported in Florida on July 17, 2014. These cases represent the first time that mosquitoes in the continental United States are thought to have spread the virus to non-travelers. Though CDC does not expect widespread cases this year, Americans infected when traveling to the Caribbean, South America, or the Pacific Islands may continue to return and bring the virus with them. For updates on locally acquired and travel associated chikungunya cases, visit CDC's chikungunya website.
Chikungunya is a viral disease spread to people by the bite of infected mosquitoes. The most common symptoms of chikungunya virus infection are fever and joint pain. Other symptoms may include headache, muscle pain, joint swelling, or rash.[QUOTE]

Would a court prosecute a company for donating their services to help eradicate a problem?

If companies advertise they will be "Picking up rubbish" in the neighborhood as they wish to help improve the residents living standards...do you think a court would go after them?

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The Copy Nazi

Banned 9 years ago

Originally Posted by Oziboomer

Maybe so but they are not offering something for sale...merely advising residents of the "Public Notice" on the CDC website....

Bull. Its headed "Public Notice". And they are looking for a sale - after the freebie. Obviously not doing this as a public service. Even Kevin says "Sneaky but ethical". "Merely advising residents of the "Public Notice" - yeah right. Pull this leg and it plays Jingle Bells.

And your rubbish analogy is just that - rubbish.

If you ran that postcard as a newspaper advertisement you would have to have "advertisement" across the top. And I daresay you couldn't have "Public Notice".

I rest my case your honor.

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RecessionPROOF

9 years ago

Originally Posted by The Copy Nazi

Bull. Its headed "Public Notice". And they are looking for a sale - after the freebie. Obviously not doing this as a public service. Even Kevin says "Sneaky but ethical". "Merely advising residents of the "Public Notice" - yeah right. Pull this leg and it plays Jingle Bells.

And your rubbish analogy is just that - rubbish.

If you ran that postcard as a newspaper advertisement you would have to have "advertisement" across the top. And I daresay you couldn't have "Public Notice".

I rest my case your honor.

Funny, as if anything we get in the mail in the form of a postcard isn't advertising. lol It is obvious that postcards are always presenting an advertisement promotion, and by simply having a public notice on card is hardly misleading to anyone with half a brain. Would any goverment agency send out a public notice on a post card? Given the fact there are so many idiots in the world, perhaps having THIS IS AN ADERTISEMENT at top would be appropriate. lol Newspaper ads and post cards are totally different mediums. And as to it misleading anyone, what a joke, again, you would have to be an idiot to be misled by this post card, and of course it is a promotional offer, try it before you buy it, isn't everything about selling a product or service by offering a special deal? It is called marketing.

Success to all,

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CopyMonster 9 years ago

My guess was 4.

Why?

Fear - check
Survival - check
Authority - check
AND the subtle but powerful demonstration in the headline. The "If you or anyone you know..." acted as a conditional bind to reach the widest audience possible. Many people would at least know or assume they know someone bitten by a mossie in the past 30 days. It's similar to bizop appeals that say something like "If you can copy and paste a simple 5 line email message, you have everything you need to earn 5-figures a month."

Other messages do push survival and fear triggers but they're more restrictive on the audience AND lack authority trigger.

Anyway, that's my thoughts.

Out.
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ewenmack 9 years ago

Originally Posted by The Copy Nazi

So really, it's not a "public notice" is it? It's an advertisement.

Back in the early days of ads appearing as editorial in newspapers,
now known as advortorials, the newspapers required the advertiser
to put the word advertisement at the top of it.

Same could be done to the postcard...right?

Best,
Doctor E. Vile
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AlphaWarrior

9 years ago

I am not a copywriter, but I am not surprised that #4 won. To paraphrase a saying: "It's the headline dummy".

Seriously, for me, the non-copywriter, it was the headline. Actually, I did not read or analyze the contents of any of the cards.

I simply did not believe the headline for #1 and would trash it immediately if I received it in the mail.

Numbers 2 and 3 were excluding headlines. My kids are older and I do not entertain people at my home. Since neither applies to me, I would have "file 13" both of them upon arrival in my mailbox.

Number 4 was intriguing and I would have read it if it had come to my home. I didn't read the contents because I knew that it was not a real offer to me. It was an example in a thread.

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Princess Balestra

9 years ago

I guess we gotta get folks to workout those ole iris muscles in the right way.

Fix on some news, and the hoop opens up to suck on the light. It's an active flex of tissue, kinda like the Arnie of the eyeball dilation world. With a bigger diameter comes more possibility of penetration.

Play the carpet guy, and, like you say, folks' POV sphincs on down to a dot, so your stuff goes in the trash, blotted out and swatted.

We're wired up for Godzilla and fairy lights so it makes sense not to lead with too much wallpaper when you're making any kind of appeal, but that opens up a whole new can of worms.

Novelty can be pretty scary, and overloading the 'Zilla to achieve max iris dilato sometimes has the opposite effect.

Guess it all depends on how you scale in the unignorable rampaging monster before you level with the contact number.

Sayin' that, I'm still buyin' 3.

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Steve The Copywriter

9 years ago

Dr Viles synopsis is very interesting. And workable.

But sadly I live a simple life…

So my theory is...

If you've recently been bitten on the ass by a mosquito.

And a Postcard pops through the letterbox offering free treatment to get rid of them.

It's a goer.

If someone doesn't need or want your "product" it's 1,079 times more difficult to sell it to them.

Even if it is free.

And what are the odds they'll ever spend any money with you?

So why go to ALL the trouble and risk (with Ads that could get you zapped by the regulators) in trying to persuade the stubbornly unpersuadable.

My conclusion - always concentrate on the good people who want your stuff right now.

With a bit of thought you'll always find shedfulls of them.

Steve

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Lance K

9 years ago

Fine. Change the "Public Notice" to "Important Notice".

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Complex

9 years ago

[DELETED]

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Lance K

9 years ago

Originally Posted by Complex

A lot of bill collectors use important notice.

Probably not such a good thing.

But who knows?

(Just went through ye olde stack of junk mail. The really junky kind ... and a lot of them use important notice too. Between them and the bill collectors ... well, you still have to test. But ... )

True, but bill collectors put it on the outside of an envelope. On the postcard, your headline follows immediately and is visible without any further action. But like you said, it would need to be tested.

Anyway, my point wasn't really that "important notice" is the answer, but rather that #4 would still be quite strong even if you tweaked the wording to be less "deceptive".

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Jack Gordon 9 years ago

Originally Posted by Lance K

True, but bill collectors put it on the outside of an envelope.

Actually, that would be illegal.

Great discussion Ewen. I have enjoyed following it. Had I chimed in with my guess, I would have been dead wrong.
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- Lance K 9 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Jack Gordon
  
  Actually, that would be illegal.
  
  Great discussion Ewen. I have enjoyed following it. Had I chimed in with my guess, I would have been dead wrong.
  
  Dang. I've exposed my lack of experience with bill collectors.
  
  Thanks for the clarification though. I honestly didn't know. I'm used to receiving solicitations with that kind of stuff on the outside of envelopes, so assumed bill collectors were the same. Guess that's what I get for assuming. My bad. Carry on.
  
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  "You can have everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want."
  ~ Zig Ziglar
  
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RecessionPROOF

9 years ago

The last one hits the widest audience as I see it. Not everyone has kids, but for the ones who do, very effective. I too promote free offers, so I know it is the best way to generate interest, so good job, hope you make a killing, mosquitos that is. lol

Success to all,

Thanks

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4 postcards mailed, which was the winner?

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