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Thoughts on my home page, 2 paragraphs specificially?

by David C.
3 replies
Hello Warrior Forum!

I was wondering what you thought of my home page, if there were any blaring mistakes in copywriting?

My guide provides techniques that do work (the testimonials are real, as is my story), but it consists of information, and we're living in the information age, where google is very powerful.

So I included a section that says something like "My Techniques Are Unique and Cannot Be Found Elsewhere"... but I worry this sounds a bit "insecure" to me... what do you think? Usually when a copywriter says something like this, it can be perceived that the opposite is true? Or does it sound good to you?

I also included a section that says something like "how can I be so sure the guide works?" which is true, but I worry that it may sound a bit desperate? Or is it a good closer?

I'm thinking maybe the money back guarantee should be enough to assure this?

Thoughts please? Here's the link: https://goo.gl/Gkfk26
#home #page #paragraphs #specificially #thoughts
  • Profile picture of the author David C.
    I'll happily provide any one a copy of my e-book, if they are interested (not saying anyone needs it, but every man can learn a thing or two!). Free of charge for Warriors... I'm not trying to sell anything on here. I just want advice on the page. Thanks!
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    • Profile picture of the author chrisnos
      The problem with this is it looks like an ad, meaning it doesn't actually offer any incentive for the person to continue reading once they land on the page..

      For example, when I land on this page and read "discover how to increase penis size", then, "How I went from an Insecure Weakling in Bed to a Well-Hung, Long-Lasting Sex Machine..."

      It looks like I'm about to be pitched a product, but that by reading that page I'm not actually going to learn anything useful.

      For example, if you just add at the beginning "in the next five minutes, you're going to learn a step-by-step technique that took me from being an insecure weakling in bed tool well hung, long-lasting sex machine."

      The difference is subtle, but you're actually giving them a reason to stay on your page and continue reading, by offering them something useful in return for their valuable time, which based on your current headline and add you're not doing.

      Even if you do it later, you need to communicate exactly what's going to be gained the instant a person lands on your website.
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      • Profile picture of the author David C.
        Good point. The way I've set up my funnel though, is I promote blog entries, where advice and info is given away. Substantial amount of helpful info, but without giving away the whole "cow".

        By the time they get to this page, they are prepped before hand, that this is my story, and the description of my guide. They are generally lead to here by my guide

        You do have a good point though....
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