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Craigslist Ad Help!

by cjsparacino123
6 replies
Hi my name is chris, im a new internet marketer, been at it for only a year, so far my main source of income is through my craigslist ad, i will post to get your reactions and tweaks. So basically i have a beef that i want to settle with craigslist, i want to actually turn the faucet on when it comes to my ad, and i came here to figure out what the hell is happening and how can i make money with it.

so heres my ad

TIME IS TICKING! Music Video Shoot

The next wave of stars is here, you are one of them!?

I have been making music videos for well over 3 years now, really 7 if you count the early ones. I believe I have the eye to take you to the next level, visually. Getting great angles, and chopping the best of the best shots into a phenomenal music video. Its not exactly an easy job, shooting for hours at a time, then having the patience to craft it all together masterfully in a video editor program. But to me it is well worth the time invested.

I never went to school for this stuff, I am self taught. I have all my own equipment. Which I have spent thousands of dollars acquiring. A big risk on my behalf but to me following your dreams and passions, is worth it. All of my previous clients have agreed. The money spent for the service was well worth it. Heres what one had to say "Thank you Chris! You are an outstanding filmmaker and excellent director. It was an honor and pleasure to work with you. There will be many more projects to come."

So heres the offer, a 3-4 minute story based music video, shot on professional HD cameras, for a full 8 hour day, 3 - 5 locations, then to top it off a 24 hour edit process (separated into 8 hour shifts) with two revisions.

Now how this could benefit you?

* Build credibility

* Bank off my creativity to get your own attention grabbing video

* Build your brand, your portfolio, your self-image

* Attract the masses

What I am offering is an opportunity. These don't come everyday.
How much does an opportunity cost?
How much would it cost you if you missed this opportunity?

Heres the sweet part. If you are not totally satisfied with your video after you have had final product in your hands with two revisions, then I will personally refund all of your money. No questions asked, with the only exception being the video will be taken down.

So with that satisfaction guarantee being said. The only thing you have to lose is, well nothing!

* Pay In Installments

* Personal Guarantee

Give me a shot to take your videos to the next level. I am certain you will love it. Your friends will think highly of you. And with the guarantee, you really have nothing to lose. So hit that reply button, and take advantage of this opportunity now!

* $899

Best Regards,
Chris

Water Video Productions



So thats my ad, if i could get some help with it that would be wonderful, attached to the ad are some screen caps of music videos i shot and my company logo...

Chris
#craigslist
  • Profile picture of the author TjarkHartmann
    I hate to say it but this needs a complete rewrite -- assuming there is demand.
    If you want to save a bunch of time, you should hire a copywriter.
    If you want to do it yourself, start with the stickies.

    Let me explain...

    Why do you have "time is ticking" in your headline? Nothing supports that in the body.
    Take that out and all you have is "Music Video Shoot" which doesn't help much.

    First sentence: The next wave of stars is here, you are one of them!?
    Probably lost a bunch of people right there.

    Way, way, waaaayyy too much about you. Right from the get go:
    "I believe I have the eye to take you to the next level, visually."
    They don't want you to do it. They're the ones with the talent, you are just there to help them show it. (Visually has no place in there either.)

    A bunch of unnecessary fluff in your sentences:
    "I have been making music videos for well over 3 years now, really 7 if you count the early ones."
    Just tell them you've made music for 7.

    Oh boy...

    "I never went to school for this stuff, I am self taught. I have all my own equipment. Which I have spent thousands of dollars acquiring. A big risk on my behalf but to me following your dreams and passions, is worth it. All of my previous clients have agreed."

    You just shot yourself in the foot, arms, legs, head, heart.

    You'd be better off starting here: "What I am offering is an opportunity. These don't come everyday."
    And deleting everything before that.

    Hope this helps and good luck.
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  • Profile picture of the author BestPayInUsa
    Just a few things I notice.

    Research shows 70% of people judge a business's credibility by their website. You're charging $899 but you have a free wix website. Doesn't look too professional for your ticket price. Especially if you've been doing this for 3 years and I'm assuming you've sold videos for $899 to other people.

    & I could be completely wrong but... I have a company that sells commercial videos to small to medium companies and I never saw a benefit by offering video editing advice. I'm referring to your "Hacks" section on your website. Your customers have no idea how to do anything with video and this is why they're willing to pay you $899 to do it for them. Your "Hacks" section will most likely not bring in any customers... may help other people though who know how to use video editing software.

    Good luck.

    EDIT: Also, you're targeting music videos... most musicians don't have too much money for their music. I find them at gas stations trying to sell me CD's for a buck or two. If they do have money... idk if they'd be sitting on craigslist.
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    • Profile picture of the author marciayudkin
      Hi Chris,

      The primary thing you need to convince people of is that an investment in a rockin-the-world music video will make a huge difference in their sales.

      Otherwise it is just an ego boost for the musicians.

      Can you get testimonials from previous clients about the results they got from the video you made for them?

      If not, do you have a credible story about how someone else's music video rocketed them to stardom mostly by itself?

      Making this case is even more important than touting your own abilities.

      The second most important thing is having samples to show along with or linked from your ad.

      And don't worry about the argument that most musicians don't have $899 to invest. Some do, and those can be your clients.

      Good luck,
      Marcia Yudkin
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  • Profile picture of the author angiecolee
    It may be a symptom of living in the Bay Area, but....

    Dude, I just recorded my band's demo in a pro studio and the mixing ALONE was $1000.

    Seeing as how I attend day-long shoots of a 30-second commercial production with a crew of 20+ people, I have a hard time understanding this.

    But I am also very likely NOT remotely in your target market.
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  • Profile picture of the author cjsparacino123
    Well i have to say, thanks for the advice to those of yous that did help, im taking you guys' advice, hope it works!
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  • Profile picture of the author moneymagneto
    It's too long and too "try hard". You need to serve a niche that needs your service. Wedding videos, etc.
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