Can I get some feedback on my sales letter?

I'd start by running it through this: Hemingway Editor

Amazing free tool. The FK metric revolutionized my copy when I first started.

I'd start with your headline – the most
important part of your sales letter.

You have:

"Want to know how you can make $104 to $1143/per day
using just YouTube and CPA offers?"

I'd shorten this to:

"How to Make as Much as $1143 a Day
With YouTube and CPA Offers"

Rick, brace yourself. This may sting.

"Want to know how you can make $104 to $1143/per day
using just YouTube and CPA offers?

There is ZERO newness, excitement, or differentiation in this. It's not even believable in this day and age of endless MMO (make money online) offers.

Of course you do.

Don't tell me what I think - you're wasting real estate and potentially activating my kneejerk "NO I DON'T" response.

Lets face it, making money on YouTube can be
a little tricky sometimes, if you don't have things set up in
the right place all your hard work can go to waste.

So you imply this is easy in your headline, and then tell me it's tricky and hard work that could be wasted. What?

That's why when you start your YouTube marketing
campaign it is KEY that you have a blueprint or a plan.

Most people get that they need to plan complicated things before starting them. Why does your plan matter? Why is it magic if I'm struggling?

With [PRODUCT NAME] you'll get that exact plan
that'll show you how to put all the pieces together
to make it click, you'll learn how to use
the power of CPA offers with YouTube traffic to easily
make up to $1k per day on autopilot.

You've told me nothing about this plan, how it works, why I should jump on this offer, that I haven't heard with a million spammy [INSERT PRODUCT NAME] advertisements before.

*affiliate link*

They'll show you how to optimize everything so that
your YouTube videos are making the most out of every click.
You"ll learn how to use custom thumbnails and catchy titles
that will literally SKY ROCKET your views and traffic.

You'll also learn the BEST way to get specific keywords
that will laser target traffic, so that you get the right customers
every time.

The hint of a unique benefit, but so brief as to be a shooting star; passing glimpse of brightness, quickly buried by night.

If you are still struggling trying to make money on
YouTube this is the opportunity to take...

So does the market you're targeting not include people new to MMO? 1) That should reinforce the notion of been there, seen that I mentioned above. 2) If it DOES include people new to MMO, you've just introduced a thought of "oh crap...was there something I should have done prior to this? Will this be too complicated?"

because you'll get a PROVEN method that has
worked time and time again for them, and they are
sharing the EXACT method they are using with you.

Proven by whom? Where is this alleged proof?

Personally, I think this is a great chance to keep building
on your YouTube knowledge, using [PRODUCT NAME]
will help you make EVEN more money on YouTube,
its a great chance to become more experience in the
YouTube Marketing game..

Personally, I don't know you. So unless I'm on your list and we have a relationship, I really don't see myself rushing to buy something you personally recommend.

I highly recommend you take this chance..

Wasted real estate begging for a strong don't-miss-out style call to action.

*affiliate link*"


______________________________________

Further notes:

You're only scratching the surface, man.

There are a lot of assumptions and not enough demonstration - demonstration that you understand the unique problems and challenges they face, demonstration that the product actually works, demonstration of your expertise in being uniquely qualified to confidently recommend this as THE solution.

Where are the benefits? You've buried them under generic hype.

And what's the traffic source? Email? Warm list? Cold list? Purchased/rented list? Where do they land when they click that affiliate link - another sales page that tells them exactly what you just told them? An upsell or cross-sell page?

There's a LOT more to think about in creating a strong, compelling offer than just the flow of words. But when it comes time to focus on words, you're missing a critical element - persuasion.

Here's the question you want to ask even before your start writing copy:

Do you want clicks to the page? Or high EPCs?

Every affiliate I know wants high EPCs.

- Rick Duris

PS: Article I've been recommending:

The #1 Question To Ask When Writing Emails For Clients | Conversion Gods

Might also want to hang out in the email marketing forum.

I think you are doing what so many try and do, you are trying to sell the product rather then just pre sell it. You really only want to get the person excited about clicking on the link to see what kind of great information or great thing is there for them to see, once they are there it is up to the people you are being an affiliate for to put together a great sales page to convince them to buy, it isn't your job to sell it is your job to as I said get them excited and interested enough to click the link. So writing with that in mind is a little different the writing to get them to buy.