I'm stuck... need advice!

That's a great idea.

I haven't the least notion how to do it properly, but I'll certainly think a lot about it in my copious spare time.

How would you do that? What's the proper metaphor? "It's like a _________."

Have you tried just doing a video sales page, with a header video followed by sales copy?

You're right, they're wrong. Your customers are lying *******s.

Alternative health and finance are massive two industries with "old folks" as prospects, and long copy works a treat.

Your own testing has even proven this.

The keyword there is PROFITABLE... Crank up your lead gen and start banking that dough!

John pointed out that there might be an issue with the business model. That's my inclination too.

Colm

I'm with the guys, if you're bringing in customers at a profit you could have a very nice business... all depends on what you do on the backend.

What does your business look like at the moment? How many products? How are they structured? What do you do once you get a customer?

Those are the questions you need to be answering, not some pie in the sky hope about an infomercial.

Good articles about selling to seniors:

Suddenly Senior. 10 Commandments of Successfully Selling to Seniors
Angst and the Art of Selling to Seniors by Dean Rieck

They are not lying. A mature group has experienced more including experiences where manipulative tactics haved resulted in being or seeing others ripped off. They then associate that experience with those techniques. In this case since you say they are your customers they can't be written off for those who wouldn't buy anyway.

Rather than switching wholesale away from written sales pages have you tried adding video to a sales page? You reduce the physical length of the page while not cutting down on content. In many cases its the length of the page people find intimidating. I also think doing a mix would greatly reduce the cost of completely replacing text with video for your entire presentation.

Hey David,

Sounds very similar to a situation I was in. I've ran a site for years now. Kept changing and testing new ad copy. Finally found a version that seemed to do "okay". It wasn't great, but it converted just so so. Now one might think "well that doesn't sound exciting". And actually it isn't really. But what I have found is that you could try endless ideas, tricks, tactics, gimmics, promo's, multi media etc. And maybe if you're really lucky you might find the magic pill. But rather than waste endless time on that, why not focus on the other 4 p's of the marketing mix. So focus on your traffic, your customer service, your price, your placement in the market. etc. I began to focus more on improving my affiliate prorgram. Testing different prices. Doing more advertising. Adding more content pages. Stuff like that. Which overall improved the site overall proformance. If you've tried and tested a lot of copy I wouldn't waste too much time on it. I would concentrate on the other areas. Food for thought.

These two comments hit the nail on the head...

And...

Customers will SAY one thing, but mean another. They're not lying when they say that they hate being manipulated, but the truth is that good sales copy will not show any signs of manipulation...because a good sales letter will simply sell the product to the person who is most likely to buy it anyway.

You don't have to manipulate people to sell, you just need to bring the product into the best possible light and show prospects why they need to buy it.

Turning a "manipulative" piece of copy into a multimedia presentation isn't going to do jack. In fact, with an older target demographic, I'd expect the bounce rate to be higher if anything (technology and demand on the computer/internet connection could be an issue for a larger segment of that older demographic, just a guess?).

I'm stunned that there are copywriters out there charging 4 x figures for sales copy that comes across as manipulative in the first place. Sure, no money can guarantee a conversion because it depends on your actual offer and the prospects you put it in front of, but sheesh...4 x figures to bash people over the head so blatantly is beyond me.

Makes me feel real good as a professional copywriter, to be able to charge so much less and deliver real results for people.

Before you start throwing babies out with bathwater, I'd test:

1. The price
2. The offer (is it a total non brainer, is it sexy enough?)
3. The headlines & hooks
4. The USP
5. The guarantee
6. The back story
7. The problems and pain agitation angle (perhaps you're not hitting the REAL hidden nerve center of the prospect?)

(point #3 and #7 should be nailed 1st time by a 4 x figure copywriter. The rest are things largely beyond their control and come down to your business decision...and that can only be derived through your own testing).

Good luck,

Nick

P.S - The age old debate over long copy vs short copy is completely null and void. If a "prospect" says they hate long copy, what they are REALLY saying is "I hate reading long copy for a product that solves a problem I don't have or don't want solving...".

The undeniable fact is that long copy has more chance of selling to REAL prospects because it answers every possible objection, shows every single benefit and USP of the product and justifies the purchase from several angles...

...just like a real sales person.

Imagine trying to sell advertising space to a fortune 500 CEO. If he told you that he was busy, you wouldn't just run past his door and shout "advertising space for sale, wanna buy it now?".

You'd move onto the guy who says "ok great, we need some exposure because we're just starting a new line of products in September..."

THEN you make a proper appointment and show him what you've got. He still may not buy, but he won't complain if you spend an hour giving him options and reasons why your agency is the best place to buy from over anywhere else.

Here's my advice...

Post a link so we can look at it. Alternatively, if you're not comfortable with that, and want a good copywriter to look over it, PM it to me... I like mysteries

Another alternative is to talk to Kyle Tully... he runs a consulting business and from what I hear (and what I've seen of his post) he knows his stuff. Not sure if he'd give you an initial consultation for free or WHAT the deal is... but probably money well-spent either way.

-Dan