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[FEEDBACK REQUEST] Personality Development -> Habits Niche / Online Course Sales Page

by vaidab
2 replies
I'd love your feedback on my sales letter and also a mark from 1 to 5 on how good it is (5 - you wouldn't change a thing).
Target: 30-49, wanting to develop lasting habits, they quite their habits to soon and want a system that reminds them what to do
Traffic source: own list
Offer: online course for $47
Link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1...it?usp=sharing
#> #development #feedback #habits #niche #online #page #personality #request #sales
  • Profile picture of the author DABK
    Title: The Secrets of Habits
    Subtitle: Create long lasting habits using time-tested psychological techniques

    Both title and subtitle are weak.

    By weak I mean they don't interest me, they don't spark curiosity and they don't tell the reader (hey, this is for me).

    What habits to the people you're after want to change? Why?

    Speak to that.

    I skimmed, did not read, after the 1st 2 paragraphs. I would not have read had I seen this copy in a different context.

    Your copy has the 1st bit of something interesting when you start talking about linking...

    What you failed at did not interest me in the least bit... I know what you're trying to do... but you failed at doing that.

    I think a story about how you/someone set some goal, failed at achieving because of 'bad' habits would work better than just a list of 'failed.'

    I did not notice an offer, guarantees, PS's, testimonials, and other such goodies.



    Originally Posted by vaidab View Post

    I'd love your feedback on my sales letter and also a mark from 1 to 5 on how good it is (5 - you wouldn't change a thing).
    Target: 30-49, wanting to develop lasting habits, they quite their habits to soon and want a system that reminds them what to do
    Traffic source: own list
    Offer: online course for $47
    Link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1...it?usp=sharing
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  • Profile picture of the author gjabiz
    Originally Posted by vaidab View Post

    I'd love your feedback on my sales letter and also a mark from 1 to 5 on how good it is (5 - you wouldn't change a thing).
    Target: 30-49, wanting to develop lasting habits, they quite their habits to soon and want a system that reminds them what to do
    Traffic source: own list
    Offer: online course for $47
    Link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1...it?usp=sharing
    It is a 1.

    Target: 30-49 Male or female? More demographic info is needed.

    You are selling some sort of a reminder service to keep them on track, how does this fit in with how they got on your list?

    You copy reads, I, I, I've, I, I, I'm, I, I and I seems to violate rule ONE of copy, what does the reader get?

    No good evaluation can be performed without further knowledge of the target, and why and how they got on your list.

    gjabiz
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