It got to a point where it was making $1,000 a month. Then I redesigned the website to make it more "professional" and "corporate-like". And just as I was expecting sales to double, they shrunk by more than half! I'm still perplexed.
So now, I decided that I will soon remove the stupid logo and change the slogan from: Your Guide to Jobs in Dubai to Tips From a Habitual Jobhunter.
I want to bring back the personal feeling to the website. It used to look like a personal blog.
I'd also like to really start selling, so I picked up Joe Sugarman's book "Advertising Secrets" and it was a thrilling learning experience. I had a few nights when I couldn't sleep from sheer excitement.
As I was learning, I started drafting the new copy for my product. It took me more than a week to write, but I'm not sure it will do any better than its predecessor (the currently live version. No longer accessible).
I think I should request paid critique and enhancements from a professional copywriter, but before that, I want to know if I do have something that can be improved on. If I'm still too far behind, I should go back, crack more copywriting books and continue to improve. And then come back.
So, could someone tell me whether I have something or nothing with the new copy?
When I started writing this, I tried to keep a few things fresh in my mind. For instance, I constantly receive emails from experienced business owners, professionals who hold law and MBA degrees from Ivy league schools, and sales managers. As a result of my website, which includes free advice, they all think of me as an expert. These are highly educated people. They are the ones that I want to sell to. So, you'll see in the copy that I talk about politics and economics a little.
I tried to make the buying environment that of desire for fairness and having the power to control your career path. Then, I mention how it can be difficult to achieve that, but I hint at having the solution (the product), and I give the solution a codename (concept) to generate curiosity. To explain the codename, I tell them about an experience of mine and how it lead to the development of the product.
Then, I show satisfaction conviction and ask them to subscribe.
Here is the new copy Unlike the current live copy, which is tucked away in its own page. Once, I have new, winning copy, I'll put it up on the homepage. (The current homepage is another thing that makes the website look impersonal)
So, what glaring flaws do you see in this copy? Should I find a copywriter to help me polish this? Or should I go back and work on it some more? Maybe I have to scrap the whole thing. Start with an entirely new approach? I really don't know...Please help.