Critique My Warriors For Hire Ad

5 replies
Hey all, posted a new WFH ad the other day. I think it's a good offer but light response as of now. In other ads I've posted, many warriors specifically requested soap opera sequence emails. I wrote an ad geared towards these people. I now wonder if it's too niche because I'm advertising on FB as well with no conversions.

Highly appreciate any and all feedback.

http://www.warriorforum.com/warriors...guarantee.html
#critique #hire #warriors
  • Profile picture of the author Alex Cohen
    Excellent Mike... besides a couple word choices (which would just be me nitpicking), I wouldn't change a thing.

    If that sales piece is not converting, it isn't the copy. Most likely it's the targeting. If you'd like a second pair of eyes to look at your FB strategy, feel free to PM me.

    Alex
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    • Profile picture of the author michaelscollins
      Originally Posted by Alex Cohen View Post

      Excellent Mike... besides a couple word choices (which would just be me nitpicking), I wouldn't change a thing.

      If that sales piece is not converting, it isn't the copy. Most likely it's the targeting. If you'd like a second pair of eyes to look at your FB strategy, feel free to PM me.

      Alex
      Thanks Alex! I think I will take you up on that second pair of eyes. Let me get my plan figured out and I'll shoot you a PM.

      Originally Posted by MrFume View Post

      I would say your problem is one of targeting, also 'Soap Opera' sequence is a highly specialized term, even people who use this approach would not be aware of it in these terms-they would just think they are being clever Maybe re-word your headline to include folks who are not 'technical' about their email storylines as well: This Killer Email Sequence Will Boost Your Conversions Or Your Money Is Refunded!'
      Be more inclusive in your targeting.
      Thanks MrFume. Yes, I think this is probably true... going to reframe it as just the best email autoresponders instead of specifically being "soap opera" style.
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  • Profile picture of the author MrFume
    I would say your problem is one of targeting, also 'Soap Opera' sequence is a highly specialized term, even people who use this approach would not be aware of it in these terms-they would just think they are being clever Maybe re-word your headline to include folks who are not 'technical' about their email storylines as well: This Killer Email Sequence Will Boost Your Conversions Or Your Money Is Refunded!'
    Be more inclusive in your targeting.
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    The whole basis of what we do as human beings is based on Communication, nothing would be possible otherwise. I work with communication, publishing on the Web, digital media.
    Digital Media for a Noisy World

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  • Profile picture of the author DABK
    I agree with Alex, the copy is good but it's very specific, too specific to speak to most people who'd see it on facebook.
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  • Profile picture of the author havplenty
    IMHO your headline needs some work. Something stronger, more compelling. Also, I would change the lead-in copy at the top to speak specifically to email marketers or at least test existing against it. Mel Martin was good at this

    You have lots of proof elements which is good so I suspect the bulk of your bounces occur at the headline stage.

    Your FB marketing should be calling out email marketers too -- FB's targeting should help you with that.

    Hope this helps
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