Virgin user needs critique

by LETERRY911 2 replies
hi, hope I don't offend anyone by asking the wrong thing, this is my first visit to what looks like an amazing site. I have sweated blood over my squeeze and sales pages but I really could do with someone to cast an eye over it for any obvious (to someone more experienced than me that is) errors.

The video in the squeeze page will be there eventually, for now it's just the text.

In the sales page I really really need help with how to write the final sales bit and include all the bonus offers - i will have graphics for them eventually.

I've had to remove all the photos etc. to get it to load here so I hope it still makes sense

Thanks in advance.
#copywriting #critique #user #virgin
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  • Profile picture of the author maximus242
    Post it as a website not a doc if you want people to look at it. Your making us do WORK to critique something for free. You will get 100x more replies if its as a website.

    If you dont have one, sign up for Google Docs and publish your word documents as a website, then post the link here.

    You will have a far easier time getting critiques.
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  • Profile picture of the author LETERRY911
    Sorry I'm new to all this stuff as I said. I've asked someone to help me put it into a temporary hosting whatever today. This is a steeper learning curve than I realised!
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