Good Warrior, please comment on my Opt-In: AbMyths.com

by saleswriter101 4 replies
Your comments help so much... please take a quick look...

:: AbMyths.com : Easiest Way to Six-Pack Abs, Defined Muscle, Oodles of Energy & Vibrant Health...


Thanks!
Scott
#copywriting #abmythscom #comment #good #optin #warrior
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  • Profile picture of the author J. Barry Mandel
    It looks like a small mess

    It's VERY confusing to look at, not orderly at all, and a strain on the eyes

    You need to reformat it to improve it's appearance

    (I did not even bother to read it)
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  • Profile picture of the author Kevin Lam
    Scott, good attempt, but first image that popped into my head after looking was someone puking.

    Okay, now that that's out of the way, let's get down to some basics.

    1) You are creating WAY too many distractions. It's great that you're trying to emphasize some important content, but when you emphasize EVERYTHING, NOTHING gets noticed. It's like the saying where people who claim to know everything know nothing. It's the same thing here.

    2) It doesn't seem to be very realistic. You come across pretty much saying you've got the fastest and easiest way to rock-solid abs... where's the proof? When it comes down to products relating to fitness, you need some REAL proof not some stock-image of someone being buff. You need realistic looking pictures to show the before and after results.

    3) What the heck is with "Right NOW see ..." - it doesn't even make sense.

    4) Instead of "Detail #1", you can say "Ab Secret #1" and etc.

    5) There's just too much going on here. This is kinda covered in #1, but I felt it was important to mention it again. Nearly 90% of your sales copy is emphasized in some form or shape. This is NOT how you do it.

    Being a squeeze page, you need to get in and get out. Show a little skin and make them want more. Give them a little nibble/taste of what's to really come so they are so excited that they want the whole thing. With this, you're scaring people away.

    Anyway, there's a lot more, but please take this back to the drawing board. Good luck.
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