What Perspective Should I Write My Copy In?

5 replies
To give some background, I am creating a new product and want to test the demand for it. I am doing this by making a landing page to collect emails. I do not have enough money to hire a copywriter, so I want to do this myself.

I've created a few drafts of the copy so far and I don't really like any of them. When I read over them, they sound sort of robotic, don't flow well and just don't really seem like they would connect to the people I am targeting. I've done enough research to understand how this product will benefit people and I am trying to convey that as much as possible, but putting I'm struggling with putting it into words that'll move somebody.

Maybe it's because of the perspective/format I am writing in? What I've been doing so far is taking the most important features and giving them a section. In that section, I'll briefly introduce the problem they have and then I'll discuss the solution I have and how that solution will benefit them. Should I try something else? For instance, one sentence is "Wouldn't it be easier to do XYZ instead?" and I just feel like that won't be effective. This is mainly because I am looking at other landing pages and it seems like everybody gets right into the point--nobody really talks about the problem their users have directly. Instead they discuss their features and the benefits and I guess the user is supposed to infer what they're solving from that?


I hope that even makes sense lol. Worst case, I'll just launch these and if they fail miserably then I'll keep revising until something sticks (if it does).
#copy #perspective #write
  • Profile picture of the author Diana S
    Originally Posted by rennsport View Post

    I've created a few drafts of the copy so far and I don't really like any of them. When I read over them, they sound sort of robotic, don't flow well and just don't really seem like they would connect to the people I am targeting. I've done enough research to understand how this product will benefit people and I am trying to convey that as much as possible, but putting I'm struggling with putting it into words that'll move somebody.
    It's great that you've done your research, but it's important to remember that user experience is #1.

    My tip would be pretending as if you are explaining the benefits of the product to a friend, and use that type of personable, engaging language - while remaining fairly professional. I would also suggest expanding slightly on your storytelling technique (introducing the problem and stating your solution), which should be a great start in helping you connect with your target audience.

    I hope this helps!
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    • Profile picture of the author timokeefe
      Originally Posted by Diana S View Post

      My tip would be pretending as if you are explaining the benefits of the product to a friend, and use that type of personable, engaging language - while remaining fairly professional.
      100% this! I've had to approve/deny a lot of copy from people who aren't really natural writers, and this is what I always tell them when they give me something robotic. Go away, open up gmail, put your friend's name in the box, and then write it to them.
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  • Profile picture of the author DABK
    Hard to tell without seeing the copy. If you were telling your Mom about whatever you're selling, how would you tell her? (This is one of the things that gets me in the right direction, pretending to be talking about whatever I'm writing about with someone I know well.)

    Originally Posted by rennsport View Post

    To give some background, I am creating a new product and want to test the demand for it. I am doing this by making a landing page to collect emails. I do not have enough money to hire a copywriter, so I want to do this myself.

    I've created a few drafts of the copy so far and I don't really like any of them. When I read over them, they sound sort of robotic, don't flow well and just don't really seem like they would connect to the people I am targeting. I've done enough research to understand how this product will benefit people and I am trying to convey that as much as possible, but putting I'm struggling with putting it into words that'll move somebody.

    Maybe it's because of the perspective/format I am writing in? What I've been doing so far is taking the most important features and giving them a section. In that section, I'll briefly introduce the problem they have and then I'll discuss the solution I have and how that solution will benefit them. Should I try something else? For instance, one sentence is "Wouldn't it be easier to do XYZ instead?" and I just feel like that won't be effective. This is mainly because I am looking at other landing pages and it seems like everybody gets right into the point--nobody really talks about the problem their users have directly. Instead they discuss their features and the benefits and I guess the user is supposed to infer what they're solving from that?


    I hope that even makes sense lol. Worst case, I'll just launch these and if they fail miserably then I'll keep revising until something sticks (if it does).
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11013129].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author SARubin
    Originally Posted by rennsport View Post

    . This is mainly because I am looking at other landing pages and it seems like everybody gets right into the point--nobody really talks about the problem their users have directly. Instead they discuss their features and the benefits and I guess the user is supposed to infer what they're solving from that?
    Don't waste a ton of your time worrying about what others are doing, unless you know for sure that what they're doing is actually working?

    They might be getting crap for response. So copying them will only get you a crappy response as well.

    And besides... if everybody else is doing it the same way, then you're better off differentiating yourself. Otherwise you'll just be another "me too" in an overcrowded market.

    It sounds like you're trying to discover your own voice and style ?

    Who knows? If you come across as sincere, it might just work. (Only 1 way to find out - test... measure... tweak... rinse and repeat.)

    Originally Posted by rennsport View Post

    Worst case, I'll just launch these and if they fail miserably then I'll keep revising until something sticks (if it does).
    Well, it looks like you already know about the "1 way to find out"
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  • Profile picture of the author Alex Cohen
    Originally Posted by rennsport View Post

    To give some background, I am creating a new product and want to test the demand for it. I am doing this by making a landing page to collect emails. I do not have enough money to hire a copywriter, so I want to do this myself.

    I've created a few drafts of the copy so far and I don't really like any of them. When I read over them, they sound sort of robotic, don't flow well and just don't really seem like they would connect to the people I am targeting. I've done enough research to understand how this product will benefit people and I am trying to convey that as much as possible, but putting I'm struggling with putting it into words that'll move somebody.

    Maybe it's because of the perspective/format I am writing in? What I've been doing so far is taking the most important features and giving them a section. In that section, I'll briefly introduce the problem they have and then I'll discuss the solution I have and how that solution will benefit them. Should I try something else? For instance, one sentence is "Wouldn't it be easier to do XYZ instead?" and I just feel like that won't be effective. This is mainly because I am looking at other landing pages and it seems like everybody gets right into the point--nobody really talks about the problem their users have directly. Instead they discuss their features and the benefits and I guess the user is supposed to infer what they're solving from that?


    I hope that even makes sense lol. Worst case, I'll just launch these and if they fail miserably then I'll keep revising until something sticks (if it does).
    Try using a proven sales letter format.

    Perry Belcher has a good one...

    21 Step Salesletter - PERRY BELCHER

    Craig Ballantyne explains each step here...

    21 Sales Copy Secrets from Perry Belcher - Early To Rise

    Alex
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