Which style and tone to choose?

8 years ago

Originally Posted by Joe Ray

Let's say, I want to provide value in the article, but I also want to promote my services or a product.

Which style works best?

1. Using a general tone like: "our solutions will provide managers the insights to make optimal decisions"

2. OR, using "you", to make it sound more personalized like: "our solutions will provide you the insights to make optimal decisions"

I think, there is a big difference between these two styles. Any suggestions?

Given your examples here... #2 without any doubt.

Copywriting 101, my friend. You may be writing for managers in general, but everyone who reads your article is a single "person," and the word "you" is one of those magical words.

It lets people think you're talking to them; about their issues. And that's what people care about the most when they're reading your article. (i.e. how does this article pertain to "me?")

[ 1 ] Thanks

Signature

Grow Your Copywriting Skills & Network with Other Copywriting Professionals - Join us at the Copywriters Forum

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11023958].message }}

yukon

Banned 8 years ago

Originally Posted by Joe Ray

Let's say, I want to provide value in the article, but I also want to promote my services or a product.

Which style works best?

1. Using a general tone like: "our solutions will provide managers the insights to make optimal decisions"

2. OR, using "you", to make it sound more personalized like: "our solutions will provide you the insights to make optimal decisions"

I think, there is a big difference between these two styles. Any suggestions?

You need to be split testing both versions to find out which one has a higher conversion rate.

[ 2 ] Thanks
1 reply

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11023962].message }}

pauloadaoag Administrator 8 years ago

Originally Posted by yukon

You need to be split testing both versions to find out which one has a higher conversion rate.

This so many times this. Experience can only go so far. What works for one campaign may not work for another, the best way really is to test test and test.
- [ 1 ] Thanks
- 1 reply
Signature
{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11026525].message }}
- SARubin 8 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by pauloadaoag
  
  This so many times this. Experience can only go so far. What works for one campaign may not work for another, the best way really is to test test and test.
  
  Yes, absolutely test the different styles to see which resonates with your market.
  
  (sorry I didn't mention that at first. I guess after all these years, I just consider testing and measuring to be a given. And I forget that some people haven't been playing the game as long as me)
  
  But I still stand by my choice of using a more personalized voice, and here's why...
  
  Many years ago (about 15 years, but I still remember it like it was yesterday) when I had my first e-commerce site, I wrote a lot of articles. It was my main method of online marketing at the time. (writing a lot of articles and submitting them to every article directory I could find, and also posting them to my own website)
  
  Back then, all of my articles were written in a professional, straight forward, and relatively impersonal style.
  
  After a while I started getting emails from people praising some of my well thought out, well written, and very informative articles. It was quite the boon for my ego, and my website was getting a fairly steady 2% (+/-) conversion rate. So I thought everything was going great.
  
  Then one day I was introduced to a direct response copywriter. He convinced me to test a different, more personal style. (Just to see if it would work) I remember hesitating because I didn't want to tarnish my reputation. But he was convincing, so I gave it a go.
  
  After a couple months the result spoke for themselves. I wasn't getting any praise for my newer articles, but my conversion rates shot up to double digits (which was praise enough, for me)
  
  Of course there may have been other contributing factors to the increase in sales, but changing the "voice" of my writing was the one major change I made. So I gotta believe it was the main factor.
  
  After that experience I never looked back.
  
  So absolutely - test... measure the results... make adjustments. (rinse and repeat)
  As for me, I'll keep writing in a more personal tone as long as it keeps bringing results
  
  (And yes, I realize that I didn't use the word "YOU" in this reply. But I'm not tryin' to sell anything at the moment )
  
  Thanks
  
  Signature
  
  Grow Your Copywriting Skills & Network with Other Copywriting Professionals - Join us at the Copywriters Forum
  
  {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11026594].message }}

brookeharper08

8 years ago

I'd absolutely go for #2. It helps you establish a connection with your readers and makes them feel involved.

[ 1 ] Thanks

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11024329].message }}

Pinkysoll

Banned 8 years ago

#2 enables you to keep an engaging tone throughout the content. However, in this matter, I think #1 would look more appropriate and professional.

Why not test both and see what works better?