Suggestions for writing a Personal Brand "elevator pitch"

by NunYaa
18 replies
I am in the process of writing a "Personal Brand elevator pitch", to help me better pitch/represent myself and my services.

I came accross a very informative and concise video by Adam Leipzig, on YouTube:


The content of the video can be sumamrized by the following key points:

1. Who you are
2. What you do/ What do you love to do (e.g. write,cook, code, teach)
3. Who you do it for
4. What those people want and/OR need
5. How those people change /transform as a result of what you give them


I have a challenge with point 2, and that is because I am engaged in offering services accross multiple fields - although they are interrelated, in the sense that the common theme running through all of them - is making money.

The areas I provided help in, are as follows:

a). Trading the financial markets
audience: From complete novices, to professionals who want to acquire additional knowledge

b). Business advice for startups and small businesses
audience: From brand new startups to those wishing to scale their business or make it more effecient

c). Sourcing (and other ancillary) services for real estate investors
audience: High networth individuals - some capable of cash purchases


I would be grateful for some assistance in how to construct a short statement, that somehow, manages to combine all of the three offerings above.


The end objective, is to have a short, snappy, memorable, interesting and informative sequence of statements such as this:

Hello, I'm {INSERT NAME HERE}
I {INSERT WHAT YOU DO HERE} FOR {WHOM YOU DO IT FOR}
SO THEY CAN {HOW THEIR LIFE IS TRANSFORMED/HOW THEY BENEFIT}

I'd be very grateful for any help/suggestions from wordsmiths out there - to help craft together such an elevator pitch, using the information above.

Thanks
#brand #elevator pitch #personal #suggestions #writing
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  • Profile picture of the author WD Mino
    Brunson puts this way
    Who are you
    What do you have
    Why do they need it
    where do they get it

    following that which He uses we could do something like:
    I am a software developer specializing in top quality tools like XXXXX for people like you so they can achieve professional results without professional know-how. our newest release was just launched at website name.

    Short clear and piqueing I would go for I think but I have not ever written one myself except for right now I guess LOL
    have a great day
    -WD
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  • Profile picture of the author RaviGupta123456
    Thank you for the above information. But i do really would like put something that i have learned is that not necessary elements should be avoided and any info non private but useful can be added.
    Regards

    E-mail Supports
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  • Profile picture of the author Tomer Baleli
    Well, combining all the three above isn't easy. Most people choose one different subject to different audience.But I'll try


    Hey, my name is _____,
    I specialize in helping rich people getting richer by investing in the financial market & real estate. With me, they avoid fatal mistakes while finding the perfect investments.

    Some of my success stories are trainees that were investing on Tesla Motors when their price was $50 a share, on Crude Oil while it was $27 a barrel and even on Apple before they launched the first iPhone

    On top of that, my passion is helping startups make it to the other side of the wall and actually stepping out of the 9/10 startups going bankrupt statistics.

    I helped many huge companies like (name a few) when they were operating in just a basement and i am proud to say that my consulting helped them get to where they are (Well, that and having a wonderful idea, hahaha)


    I think that hit the ******* spots. Let me know if you want me to try a different angle though
    This is a great elevator pitch. But you need shit lot of confidence to make it fly.
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    • Profile picture of the author NunYaa
      Very good! This is definitely, actionable information that I can use; gets me headed in the right direction. Thanks once more, for taking time to provide a skeleton that I can work from!
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  • Your question runs to 297 words.

    Write it out again, 150.

    Spruce, polish, clarify.

    Whatever you got now, succinctify downta 100.

    NAIL NAIL NAIL the SUPER KILLER IMPORTANT SHIT.

    NAIL to ESSENCE till it is mebbe DOCUMENTARY TRUTH no one would ever WANNA.

    Cut to the quick, your MESSAGE mebbe now got sumthin' tangible gonna invite PERSUASIVE FLOURISH.

    Your ULTRA DIRECT up/down elevator invites space for more directed PITCH.

    *Jus' don't ask Moi to edit this comment down, K?*

    ** Bein' clear as I can, helpful as I must, floral as space permits. **
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    Lightin' fuses is for blowin' stuff together.

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    • Profile picture of the author NunYaa
      Username checks out

      Tough love - but necessary. This is also, what I needed to hear. Along with the suggestion from Tomer, I have enough material/useful guidelines to get cracking.
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  • Profile picture of the author GordonJ
    Originally Posted by NunYaa View Post

    I am in the process of writing a "Personal Brand elevator pitch", to help me better pitch/represent myself and my services.

    I came accross a very informative and concise video by Adam Leipzig, on YouTube:


    The content of the video can be sumamrized by the following key points:

    1. Who you are
    2. What you do/ What do you love to do (e.g. write,cook, code, teach)
    3. Who you do it for
    4. What those people want and/OR need
    5. How those people change /transform as a result of what you give them


    I have a challenge with point 2, and that is because I am engaged in offering services accross multiple fields - although they are interrelated, in the sense that the common theme running through all of them - is making money.

    The areas I provided help in, are as follows:

    a). Trading the financial markets
    audience: From complete novices, to professionals who want to acquire additional knowledge

    b). Business advice for startups and small businesses
    audience: From brand new startups to those wishing to scale their business or make it more effecient

    c). Sourcing (and other ancillary) services for real estate investors
    audience: High networth individuals - some capable of cash purchases


    I would be grateful for some assistance in how to construct a short statement, that somehow, manages to combine all of the three offerings above.


    The end objective, is to have a short, snappy, memorable, interesting and informative sequence of statements such as this:

    Hello, I'm {INSERT NAME HERE}
    I {INSERT WHAT YOU DO HERE} FOR {WHOM YOU DO IT FOR}
    SO THEY CAN {HOW THEIR LIFE IS TRANSFORMED/HOW THEY BENEFIT}

    I'd be very grateful for any help/suggestions from wordsmiths out there - to help craft together such an elevator pitch, using the information above.

    Thanks
    Hi, I'm Joe Blow a consultant in business, financial and real estate markets. I help them make more money. Are you in one of these markets?

    Let them know you can help THEM. You're focused on YOU, in the elevator, make your point succinctly but GET SOME INFO FROM THEM. 10 seconds on your, 20 on them.

    GordonJ
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    • Profile picture of the author TrickyDick
      Originally Posted by GordonJ View Post

      Hi, I'm Joe Blow a consultant in business, financial and real estate markets. I help them make more money. Are you in one of these markets?
      My thoughts exactly on the lead in, Gordon...... No fluff... No corporatespeak.

      Focus ONLY on results you get... Nothing else matters.

      I help (group/business, etc.) (get/make/save/find,etc.) (result).

      I help Attorneys make more cash? Could you use more cash?
      I help single guys find wives. Would you like a hot new wife?

      The "Branding" and "We're the leading supplier of widgets" got old years ago.
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  • Profile picture of the author angiecolee
    Echoing what Princess and Gordon said - WAYYYYYYYY too long.

    If it helps, picture yourself, hand outstretched, ready to shake. You've got from the time you pulled your hand out of your pocket from the time you put it back in to connect with this person and get their interest.

    What's everyone's number one interest? THEMSELVES.

    I gotta say it - they do NOT care about you.

    They're going to hear a million elevator pitches just like yours.

    They're going to be swarmed by people in the business card trading game that will no doubt add them to an email list without securing permission first.

    What are you going to say that appeals to THEM and makes you stand out from the rest of the self-serving crowd?

    Hint: it's about what you do that HELPS THEM. Notice the emphasis... that was intentional.
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    • Profile picture of the author sethczerepak
      Originally Posted by angiecolee View Post

      Echoing what Princess and Gordon said - WAYYYYYYYY too long.
      I agree. Especially since it's all about you, what you do and how you do it.

      Might make a good sleep aid. But come on dude. Let's get real.

      Imagine YOURSELF in an elevator with someone who spends the ENTIRE trip trying to jam in as much information about themselves as they can.

      Would you listen? Of course not.

      So stop looking at things from your point of view and get into your customer's shoes. If your service, or product, is worth promoting, that means it solves a problem. If your customer is having this problem, find out exactly how it's impacting them in their every day life.

      I unpack this in more detail in this blog post...

      Use This Simple Trick to Sell a Complicated Product or Service – Seth Czerepak

      ...but the bottom line is, you're NEVER selling a product or a service. You're selling and END RESULT. If your client could skip directly to that result, WITHOUT hiring you or buying your product, they would.

      So skip all the yadayada about you and what you do.

      What problem are you solving? How is your customer EXPERIENCING that problem on a daily basis?

      You'll find examples and a simple technique for applying this in my blog post. Or, you know, you could keep trying to cram 20 pounds of feed into a 10 pound bag. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
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      • Profile picture of the author NunYaa
        Hmm, judging from the number of answers saying (effectively) - "it's not about you" - (and I get that), I must have worded my question incorrectly.

        Rather than finding a way to "impose" myself on a hapless victim I had cornered in a lift (escalator/elevator) - what I was trying to garner with my question was this:

        Once the small talk has been got out of the way, and the other person turns to me and asks - "So, what do you do? ..." (of course, by that stage he/she would already know my name) - but the rest of the delivery would more or less remain the same.

        Also, this "script" would be useful in networking meetings etc. where people genuinely want to know what you do and how it can help them (or how they can help you do what you do better).

        Hope that clarifies things.
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        • Profile picture of the author helisell
          [QUOTE=NunYaa;11155070]

          Once the small talk has been got out of the way, and the other person turns to me and asks - "So, what do you do? ..." (of course, by that stage he/she would already know my name) - but the rest of the delivery would more or less remain the same.

          That sounds like too much small talk if at the end of it they're asking 'what do you do?'

          In any case......you are not controlling the interaction correctly if they are asking 'what do you do?'

          Truth is you don't need an elevator pitch.....you've just somehow got distracted and think it is important. It isn't....just get on with your business and leave all this theoretical clap trap alone....you'll thank me.
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  • Profile picture of the author mrjackpowers
    Forget about telling them who you are and what you do.

    That's a quick way to get the other person in the elevator staring at the door thinking: "I hope we get to my floor soon."

    Find out want they want. What's happening to them on a daily basis that they want to put a stop to and how can you make that happen?

    Or, what would they love to START doing on a daily basis, that they're currently NOT doing, and how can you help them do it?

    Anything else is just going to bore them.
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  • Profile picture of the author GordonJ
    This may NOT be my usual short and sweet, but I think it might be worth the read, fair enough? (let me know if it isn't).

    Twice a month I meet with a small group of friends, former co-workers from Suarez Corporation Industries, Arthur Middleton, Patent Health and Fitness Quest (all somewhat related).

    These are professional remote direct marketers, each with our own little businesses and all with copywriting experience for one or several of these companies. We propose a monthly topic, then meet 3 weeks later to go over our tests or results. So in early July, I suggested this elevator speech topic.

    Here is our winner, which is quite different from my original post and has gotten such terrific results, we're going to form a little research group and implement and perfect this. Maybe someone has already, but we go where the rubber meets the road: RESULTS. Anyone who has ever worked for Suarez or Napier knows the bottom line is what matters.

    So, the winner:

    And I personally have used this on 10 people. All 10 made inquiries, and I landed one whale and had to throw several swordfish back into the ocean...where maybe YOU could grab them. (I don't have the time).

    In several Elevator Speech situations I used:

    But wait, before I tell you, let me share what our group thinks about the whole elevator pitch concept, to give you some back drop for this, OK?

    First thing we all agreed on is: Where is the Elevator? Place plays a big role on which type to give or whether to give one at all. So awareness of time and place is critical, social events are not considered good other than just a get to know you, and these pitches should be casual, matter of fact, answers to what do you do, when meeting new people.

    They could get a little more business like in a business setting, for example, a lunch meeting of the local Chamber.

    So time and place matter, in our opinion. We believe, now, curiosity is the critical element, because they want to give you THEIR elevator speech too, so if you can let them go first. And be politely interested with a couple of follow up questions.

    A lot of common sense in giving pitches here, but my whale landing winner was very simple, here it is:

    My answer to What do you do?

    I'm a DATAstatistician ...specializing in Behavioral Economics (PAUSE) ...I find out what makes YOUR customers buy and then find more of those KIND of people for you.

    It employs the Milton Erickson "confusion" technique, sort of numbing them for a quick moment, before giving the critical information you want to sink in...which is what I can do for YOU.

    This relatively new buzz word, Behavior Economics works for us because our backgrounds all had the advanced techniques Ben Suarez developed for finding and keeping customers, pretty much data driven.

    Today we can cite the use of statistical analysis, Google, Facebook, massive DATA collection on buying behavior, and do so at the speed of Internet light, it is a remarkable new and powerful tool for the marketers.

    We think the Pitch, and we all tested variations of this DATAstatistician "pitch" and found out that even today, many small businesses are not maximizing their use of Social Media, Internet Presence (crappy Selling web sites) and misuse of email and other media, it is a huge opportunity.

    My "whale'" issued a one year contract for my services to be his DATAstatistician so I can state clearly, my old advice (from a month ago, may be decent for most people) but today...

    If I'm going to do any pitching, I'm going to work on my pitch as hard as I would a full page ad going into USA TODAY. It is that important, and I've got Moby Dick to prove it, at least to myself and bank account.

    So, I'm going to say, WORK HARD on your pitch and get across what you can do for them, using any and all technique you can.

    GordonJ

    PS. An aside. After the release of my July 4th Report, I had a few Warriors wondering why I bothered coming to the Warrior Forum. Sometimes I wonder myself.

    However let me share what my old Friend Jim Straw said (Jim once got banned from WF, we had a good laugh over that one)...
    Jim said, when I pretty much asked him the same thing, replied: (in is own unique way)...

    "Even a truffle hog has to sniff a lot of scat to find the truffles."

    I miss Jim. But my usual curt answer is, "My time, I spend it how I want". But I like Jim's answer better.

    Hope you found a truffle with this post. HA!
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  • Profile picture of the author marciayudkin
    Once the small talk has been got out of the way, and the other person turns to me and asks - "So, what do you do? ..." (of course, by that stage he/she would already know my name) - but the rest of the delivery would more or less remain the same.
    The best template for this that I've come across is...

    "You know how ___? [State the problem that you solve.] Well, what I do is ___ [Explain your solution to that problem]."

    Most of the time, this formula gets people wanting to know more.

    Notice that this is not "about you" in the conventional sense and yet it gets people interested.

    Notice also that in this approach, you do not give a job title.

    When I meet new people and tell them that I'm a marketing consultant, that stops the conversation right there. That's what I do when I do not want to have a conversation. If I wanted a conversation, I'd use the approach above.

    Marcia Yudkin
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    Check out Marcia Yudkin's No-Hype Marketing Academy for courses on copywriting, publicity, infomarketing, marketing plans, naming, and branding - not to mention the popular "Marketing for Introverts" course.
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  • Profile picture of the author JohnMcCabe
    Marcia, I've been using that approach for years, too.

    Actually, both of them.

    Good stuff...
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  • Profile picture of the author max5ty
    Here's a good article to read on elevator pitches:

    https://www.themiddlefingerproject.o...-flat-chested/
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