Hey kids... A little help here (some reading required)

by Fred_Acker 11 replies
It's been a while since I've picked up a pen. Unfortunately, writing isn't as easy as getting back on a bicycle (which I also got back into). However, I'm in a good place to learn it fast (because I quit a 22yr career).

Anyway, I started doing a few writing gigs about a month back and realized not only did my writing go to shit but also my mind. Just finding words was hard. So, I pulled out the old books, courses and of course sales letters and got busy edumacating myself.

That's when I found a simple routine that seemed to give me the kick in the pants I was looking for.

Now, I'm asking you to have a look at a 6 page report that's 1619 words, because I want an honest opinion...

Does it hold your attention?
Is it good information?
Does it actually teach you something?
Is it something you'd be okay paying money for?
Is it bullshit!?

This piece started as a practice exercise (explained in the report) but I was having so much fun with it that I spent the entire day doing these little exercises and ended up with 30 pages (different topics) before my mind said, "no more!"

So there it is...

Here's the link

http://fredacker.com/samples/writinga-xyz.pdf

There are no promotions - Just good reading (I hope :0)
#copywriting #hey #kids #reading #required
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  • Profile picture of the author DABK
    This confuses me: Writing: From Brain-Fart to Brilliant In 15 Minutes


    What goes from brain-fart to brilliant in 15 minutes? Writing?



    Yes, it's writing, because the next paragraph says so, except, if I wasn't reading it because you asked for reviews, I'd have stopped before the 1st paragraph.


    Even with me understanding you're looking for a review, not for me to purchase, I didn't make it much farther: you don't get to the point.


    Who is this for? Why would they buy your strategy? Why don't you answer those 2 questions at the very top of your 1st page?



    Originally Posted by Fred_Acker View Post

    It's been a while since I've picked up a pen. Unfortunately, writing isn't as easy as getting back on a bicycle (which I also got back into). However, I'm in a good place to learn it fast (because I quit a 22yr career).

    Anyway, I started doing a few writing gigs about a month back and realized not only did my writing go to shit but also my mind. Just finding words was hard. So, I pulled out the old books, courses and of course sales letters and got busy edumacating myself.

    That's when I found a simple routine that seemed to give me the kick in the pants I was looking for.

    Now, I'm asking you to have a look at a 6 page report that's 1619 words, because I want an honest opinion...

    Does it hold your attention?
    Is it good information?
    Does it actually teach you something?
    Is it something you'd be okay paying money for?
    Is it bullshit!?

    This piece started as a practice exercise (explained in the report) but I was having so much fun with it that I spent the entire day doing these little exercises and ended up with 30 pages (different topics) before my mind said, "no more!"

    So there it is...

    Here's the link

    http://fredacker.com/samples/writinga-xyz.pdf

    There are no promotions - Just good reading (I hope :0)
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    • Profile picture of the author Fred_Acker
      That's why I'm asking. Its been a while since I've written anything of any consistency. Getting back on the bicycle was a lot easier.
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  • Profile picture of the author SARubin
    Originally Posted by Fred_Acker View Post

    It's been a while since I've picked up a pen. Unfortunately, writing isn't as easy as getting back on a bicycle (which I also got back into). However, I'm in a good place to learn it fast (because I quit a 22yr career).

    Anyway, I started doing a few writing gigs about a month back and realized not only did my writing go to shit but also my mind. Just finding words was hard. So, I pulled out the old books, courses and of course sales letters and got busy edumacating myself.

    That's when I found a simple routine that seemed to give me the kick in the pants I was looking for.

    Now, I'm asking you to have a look at a 6 page report that's 1619 words, because I want an honest opinion...

    Does it hold your attention?
    Is it good information?
    Does it actually teach you something?
    Is it something you'd be okay paying money for?
    Is it bullshit!?

    This piece started as a practice exercise (explained in the report) but I was having so much fun with it that I spent the entire day doing these little exercises and ended up with 30 pages (different topics) before my mind said, "no more!"

    So there it is...

    Here's the link

    http://fredacker.com/samples/writinga-xyz.pdf

    There are no promotions - Just good reading (I hope :0)
    Hi Fred,

    Welcome back to the wonderful world of writing. (we've missed you)

    O.K. enough buttering-up small talk; Now for a reply to your post...


    As DABK already mentioned, the beginning is a bit confusing. If I wasn't asked to review it, I'm not sure I would've gotten past the first few sentences.

    Perhaps a more benefit driven headline? Or at least one that calls out your target market a little better?

    Further down the page it started picking up speed, and it got more interesting. But you may want to work on the headline and first paragraph, or two (just to draw people into it, or they might not ever get to the good parts)


    As for your questions...

    Does it hold your attention?
    Again, once I got past the first few sentences it started getting more interesting

    Is it good information?
    Well, "good" is a subjective term. But I'll say... Sure, I've never been introduced to the "full alphabet" outline method, and it seems viable. So as far as that goes, it was good info.

    Does it actually teach you something?
    Sure (see answer above)

    Is it something you'd be okay paying money for?
    Me personally? Probably not. But it could make a good single chapter to a short writing guide. (Add a dozen more chapters, and you could probably sell it as an ebook for a couple bucks? Add some videos and you may even be able to turn it into a course?)

    Is it bullshit!?
    Not at all. It's a solid first draft. As long as you realize that it's just a first draft, then you can polish it up, and turn it into something great?

    Anyway, keep on writing. I'm looking forward to reading your second draft.

    All the best,
    SAR
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    "It all boils down to psychology, and numbers"
    SARubin - Direct Response Copywriter / Advertising and Marketing Aficionado
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  • Profile picture of the author Fred_Acker
    Thanks Sar. Yes.. First draft. I started editing it, but decided to leave it and see what was said. Thanks for actually reading it

    And yes, I'd use it as a lead or part of something bigger.

    And THANKS for the welcome back. Looking forward to getting better.
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  • Profile picture of the author Fred_Acker
    Signature

    Right Now. What a wonderful time to start!

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    • Profile picture of the author SARubin
      Originally Posted by Fred_Acker View Post


      Hi Fred,

      It's already looking better. The new "How To" headline is much more attractive (more benefit driven) than the previous one.

      I spent a few minutes this morning, playing around with what you wrote, and put an opening paragraph (or two) together for your consideration.

      I'm not saying my draft is any better, or worse, than what you wrote, but I basically just took both of your openings (from draft 1, and 2) and brought them together. While adding a slightly different flow to the message.

      I don't want to post it here, because I don't want it to come off as sounding promotional (which could get this post deleted) so I'll PM it to you in a couple minutes

      Anyway, If you like what I wrote, feel free to use it (or any variation of it) and think of it as a collaboration effort between us. My way of saying thanks for introducing me to your alphabet outline method.

      If you don't like what I wrote, then feel free to delete it. (but I'm keeping the alphabet method anyway )

      All the best,
      SAR
      Signature
      "It all boils down to psychology, and numbers"
      SARubin - Direct Response Copywriter / Advertising and Marketing Aficionado
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  • Profile picture of the author Fred_Acker
    Yes, thanks Sar. I did actually read the message first - made sense right off!!
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  • Profile picture of the author helisell
    Read the second edited version too and still......ditch the first 2 pages and go straight into the a,b,c, routine.

    " I discovered a routine that get me writing faster (and better) and it takes 10 minutes or less to get going"

    Here it is.....and go straight in.

    No need to explain pre-empt or dress it up in any way in my opinion.

    The technique is great......just go straight into it.
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    Just an old goat who knows quite a lot about sales and marketing.

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  • Profile picture of the author Fred_Acker
    Well helisell, I'd do that except it's a part of the abc thing. The idea is to use the list to write faster :0)

    I should mention, this was an exercise (the idea was someone elses) that I'd gotten carried away with. My writing confidence ain't what it used to be, however, the feedback given by Sar and yourself has certainly encouraged me to continue.

    For this I thank you.

    If not for this forum, I probably wouldn't even bother :0)
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  • Profile picture of the author JohnMcCabe
    Fred I just noticed this thread.

    Read both versions. One of the banes of a writer's existence is a blank page. Damn thing keeps staring back at you, almost daring you to mark it up.

    Your abc exercise takes the blank page out of the equation and gives your mind a foothold to start at.

    Not sure I'd pay for it, but it would make a heck of a lead magnet for writers and wannabe writers. Or even "haftabe" writers...
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  • Profile picture of the author Fred_Acker
    Thanks John. Love reading your posts on WF.

    After setting it aside and Sars help it's gotten better. But yeah, that ABC thing blew me away. And I've since used it to sort of add to the whole thing.

    I forgot how much fun this stuff is.
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