I need YOUR opinion on this copy. In fact, because I'm not a native speaker (more: see background a little lower), I need to answer these two questions:
a) Is it correct/well written English?
b) Is the copy appealing (to you)?
I'm fine with short comments (That's great/shit!).
Background: German company, copy was written by one of our regular writers. Made an offer to translate that... and well, let's say there's a big disagreement on how well he did translate his work.
Examples (brand name removed):
|The brands multifunction terminal sets new standards in time and attendance, data collection and access control. A variety of options and custom keyboard layouts, allow the user the universal use for Time & Attendance, PDA, MDA and access control for up to 8 doors. Based on the brands embedded system and equipped with the latest technology, data can be quickly and accurately recorded and transferred immediately to the evaluation software. Statements, calculations or other analyzes can be done in time, targeted processes are tracked, controlled and optimized. There are fewer questions because employees can check personal information such as holidays, overtime, etc. directly. With minimal time afford high quality and timeliness of data is ensured. The device can be integrated in any IT solutions through brands setup and communication tools.|
No more risky and costly key management - with the brands access control system you can safely protect rooms and buildings from unauthorized access and can watch in real time who is currently in the protected area. If an access badge is lost, it can be removed from the authorization list easily. If a key is lost in a classic locking system, all affected locking cylinders have to be replaced. |
The brand offers a comprehensive product portfolio, with which almost every application scenario in the field of access control can be depicted. The base of each installation is the software application of the solution partners. This supplies the controllers with the necessary access profiles. The reading units record information by means of an RFID transponder, barcode, PIN input or fingerprint and return these to the software solution via the controller level. The brand offers the possibility to work offline as well as online.