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Good email copy... or not?

by SARubin
10 replies
Well, the other day I posted a thread in here with some direct mail playfulness, trying to add some enthusiasm to the copywriting section of this great Warrior Forum.

I did get a reply from one of the more experienced marketers here, and I also got a couple "thanks" added to my WF kudo's. (woo hoo!)

But, other than that... nothing more than crickets chirping, and tumbleweeds rolling.


So, I'm thinking that maybe not too many members here are interested in raising the bar of the copywriting sub forum?

But, I've never been one to "take the hint" (at least not on the first go around)

So let's try again (one more time)... shall we?

This is an email I got from Netflix a couple days ago...

I won't break it down with any critique this time. I'll just let you look at it, and soak it all in...


So what do you think of it?




Without trying to sway anyone's opinion, let me just say I think it's pretty good copy.

Basically, they start out by telling me they're going to raise my rates...

But, by the end of it... I'm almost ready to "thank" them for raising my rates. (Or, at least I'm still a loyal customer who has no problem paying more)

So anyway, copywriters... Tell me what you think makes it so damn compelling (or, why you think I'm goofy, for believing it's pretty good copy?)
#copyor #email #good
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  • Profile picture of the author Princess Balestra
    Yeah, I seen this tactic recommended for job interviews also -- kinda get the crap outta the way first.

    Gotta figure tho how any bad news (in actshwll fact, a diktat from on high in this particular example) gotta be matched by relative sweetness in the ensuin' kiss-up.

    So, for example, Netflix sayin' we're here to help if you need it an' Here's to watching what you want don't play so good if the opening pitch is

    Less Of What You Hate

    Hi Steven,

    We've kidnapped your family -- including your ultra-vulnerable (always first to bite it in a crisis situation) pets!

    Aw, but that would be Petf*x promo, I guess.
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    • Profile picture of the author SARubin
      Originally Posted by Princess Balestra View Post

      Gotta figure tho how any bad news (in actshwll fact, a diktat from on high in this particular example) gotta be matched by relative sweetness in the ensuin' kiss-up.
      Yeah, that's what I got out of it too.

      They just hit me quick with the price increase, and then (without any excuses, or apologies) they immediately went into hitting me with all the benefits, benefits, benefits, to overshadow any down side. (as if the price increase was "no big deal" compared to all the good stuff)


      Originally Posted by Princess Balestra View Post

      We've kidnapped your family -- including your ultra-vulnerable (always first to bite it in a crisis situation) pets!
      You forgot to follow up with the benefits...


      We've kidnapped your family -- including your ultra-vulnerable (always first to bite it in a crisis situation) pets!

      AND THAT'S GREAT NEWS FOR YOU!

      Because now your monthly living expenses have been significantly cut.

      * Your food bill is now a fraction of what it used to be

      * Your electric bill... Slashed! (and no more yelling at the kids to "stop leaving every light in the house on!")

      * And your kids college tuition that you were fretting about paying for?... No more worries

      That's right... the savings just keep adding up over time!


      And the best part is... If you're not completely satisfied, just send us 2.3 million dollars within the next 48 hours, and we'll gladly return your entire family! No questions asked.
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  • Profile picture of the author DABK
    I got that email message too. Nice copy but overkill... in relation to the amount of the increase... for me. Or, maybe, that's because it's such good copy?
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    • Profile picture of the author SARubin
      True... the price increase was minimal. But, I think the copy was still pretty good. And I still liked reading it.

      And even if someone else (Hulu? Amazon?) offered me a lower price for their streaming service, right now I would still stay with Netflix.


      By contrast, I got a letter from my Citbank credit card a couple months ago. It started with...

      "You talked, and we listened. We asked what you wanted from a credit card and now we're responding to our customers requests."

      It went on from there, stating how they will be increasing all fees...

      The increases were only a couple percentage points, but I couldn't help wondering which of their customers they talked to, that asked for those rate increases? (it sure wasn't me)

      Let's just say, as far as any customer loyalty goes, I'd have no problem jumping ship for any credit card that offers me a slightly better deal


      Now granted, Netflix brings me hours of enjoyment for a set price, compared to a credit card which really only brings me (self-imposed) debt.

      But I still gotta believe that the way things are worded, and framed, makes a big difference in the way they're received by the audience.

      (but, then again... maybe I'm just biased about the power of words?)
      .
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      • Profile picture of the author DABK
        I never know who they mean by YOU, those credit card people. Definitely not me. If they'd talked to me, they'd have heard that I like credit cards with -15% interest rates.

        Originally Posted by SARubin View Post

        True... the price increase was minimal. But, I think the copy was still pretty good. And I still liked reading it.

        And even if someone else (Hulu? Amazon?) offered me a lower price for their streaming service, right now I would still stay with Netflix.


        By contrast, I got a letter from my Citbank credit card a couple months ago. It started with...

        "You talked, and we listened. We asked what you wanted from a credit card and now we're responding to our customers requests."

        It went on from there, stating how they will be increasing all fees...

        The increases were only a couple percentage points, but I couldn't help wondering which of their customers they talked to, that asked for those rate increases? (it sure wasn't me)

        Let's just say, as far as any customer loyalty goes, I'd have no problem jumping ship for any credit card that offers me a slightly better deal


        Now granted, Netflix brings me hours of enjoyment for a set price, compared to a credit card which really only brings me (self-imposed) debt.

        But I still gotta believe that the way things are worded, and framed, makes a big difference in the way they're received by the audience.

        (but, then again... maybe I'm just biased about the power of words?)
        .
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  • Profile picture of the author colmodwyer
    When I got this email, I didn't feel the price rise was well justified... though I'm not a heavy Netflix user.

    I think they could've done a better job building value. For example, mention a few upcoming new shows.

    Even better, imagine if they used their data to personalize, and tease new seasons of shows you love, or might love based on your viewing history.

    For example Steven, imagine if they told you a new season of My Little Ponies was coming in January 2018!? You'd be happy to pay multiples of the new rate.

    I think the "benefits" they do mention are pretty useless.

    Also, what about an offer to subscribe for a year at the old rate (or better) and save big?

    Last time they tried to raise their rates it crushed their stock, so it's pretty interesting just how important this wee bit of copy is. We're talking hundreds of millions, if not billions on the line here.

    Shares tanked 5% yesterday! Uh oh...

    https://finance.google.com/finance?q...Gs6yuwST6YuABg

    SO, considering so much cashola is on the line, it would've been smart to test this too, but it seems we all got the same email.

    Cheers,
    Colm

    P.S. I just checked my inbox and see they have a "Recently Added" section below the copy. I'm seeing Stranger Things, Smurfs, Hateful Eight, TinTin, Santa Clause 3 and Hatfields & McCoys. I watched the first season of Stranger Things and I like westerns. I have no idea why they're telling me about the SMURFS! Honest. Did everyone else get the same list, or is this personalized to me?

    P.P.S. Appreciate the effort to get this forum up and running again Steve. Good luck!
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    • Profile picture of the author SARubin
      Originally Posted by colmodwyer View Post

      When I got this email, I didn't feel the price rise was well justified... though I'm not a heavy Netflix user.

      I think they could've done a better job building value. For example, mention a few upcoming new shows.

      For example Steven, imagine if they told you a new season of My Little Ponies was coming in January 2018!? You'd be happy to pay multiples of the new rate.

      I think the "benefits" they do mention are pretty useless.
      Yeah, the copy wasn't "brilliant" by any means. But I probably watch Netflix more than you, so I was already predisposed to finding value with the service.

      I think that's what made the copy more appealing, and the price increase less offensive, to me.

      (And now you tell me there might be a new season of My Little Ponies coming in January? Well, that's worth the price of admission, right there!)

      Originally Posted by colmodwyer View Post

      I have no idea why they're telling me about the SMURFS! Honest. Did everyone else get the same list, or is this personalized to me?
      Hey, Colm,
      This is a "no judgement zone." - You like the Smurfs... I like Bugs Bunny.

      There's nothing to be embarrassed about


      Originally Posted by colmodwyer View Post

      P.P.S. Appreciate the effort to get this forum up and running again Steve. Good luck!
      Thanks, I'm not sure how warranted my efforts are. But, I don't want to leave here knowing I didn't at least try.

      All the best,
      SAR
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  • Profile picture of the author sethczerepak
    What's cute about this is that they're raising the price for something that will ultimately make it harder for you to quit the service. So, it's as much to their advantage as to yours.

    But, pretty rare that a company explains a price increase by telling you what's in it for you. Good on them for that.

    I'm betting a lot of their customers will still see it as a fleece anyway. Few people understand the work and preparation it takes to turn billions of people into coach potatoes. ;-)
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    • Profile picture of the author SARubin
      Originally Posted by sethczerepak View Post

      Few people understand the work and preparation it takes to turn billions of people into coach potatoes. ;-)
      Ah yes, it's all part of the master plan. Today, your living room... Tomorrow, the world!!!

      "Muwahahahaha" <<< (that's supposed to be a maniacal laugh)
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  • Profile picture of the author Alex Cohen
    Their costs go up, and they pass 'em on to the consumer. Nothing new... that's the way it goes in a capitalist economy.

    Was the total price rise due solely to increased content? IMO, doubtful.

    Besides the consumers, there's three other parties corporations are responsible to. Employees, shareholders and suppliers.

    Alex
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