Which headline was the winner?

I like #1 but perhaps I am not the target audience. It's clear, the opening is arresting in a good way, and speaks to the target audience. There's something specific, the breakthrough. I like that! It's easy to understand and not over-selling. It's just a breakthrough, not a miracle cure. Then the details after keep my attention.

#2 is kind of boring: I don't care about lab tests and my eyes fall away from reading the rest of the headline before I get to "safely".

#3 is OK and it asks a question, which I like, but it's not creating believability-based curiosity ("cure for obesity"? OK, sure...nothing is a magic cure for obesity...ya lost me ;-) )

Also I think an image attached to the headline with #3 could make a big difference in clickthroughs or continued reading.

Anyhow just my opinions and although I'm overweight I'm not truly the target market.

#1 has a lot going for it...

> "Breakthrough" - is a proven power word that people respond to
> "Scientific Research Uncovers A Plant Based Molecule" - .mild curiosity and authority
> "Activates Your Body's Own Natural Fat Burning Metabolism" - big benefit
> "With No Dieting, And No Strenuous Exercise" - makes losing weight sound easy and painless

But it's long. Some would say too long.

So I'll guess #3 - strong curiosity

Alex

I probably shouldn't go against Alex, but I'll guess #2.

I'm not a trained copywriter by any means, but here's my reasoning:

#1 - Longish for a headline. Too many multisyllabic words (too intelligently written to appeal to lower intelligence readers). Doesn't really appeal to the emotions.

2 - Short, simple, to the point, and "melts fat" makes losing weight sound easy! Easy is appealing.

3 - Makes it sound like the outcome is in question.

Well, it looks like all three headlines got a vote. But only one of them actually took the control.


And the winner was (drum roll please... bada, bada, bada, boom)...


# 3 was the hands down winner! And it beat the other two by a fairly large margin.


But why?


My guess is that with all the hyped up claims in marketing (especially in the weight loss industry) the first two looked similar to the claims everybody else was making?

But the third one simply asked a question. And that allowed people to let their guards down, because it didn't sound like a sales pitch.

At that point, curiosity took over and they wanted to know more.

Also, as I originally stated, the entire piece was designed as an advertorial (more like a news story, than a sales page) so I'm guessing that the subtle, "under the radar" style headline, was more congruent with the rest of the piece?


Of course, that's just a guess. Because when the company asked customers why they chose to purchase, they mostly got ambiguous answers. (nobody came right out and said "I bought from you because of your awesome headline")



#1 came in second place.

And I think if the rest of the piece was a full on "sales page" it might have been the most effective of all three headlines. (For the very reasons that have already been stated, by some of the other skilled copywriters who responded here)...

It was a bit longer than I usually like. But it did have a lot going for it, as far as "authority... bold promise... ease of product use"



#2 didn't do very well.

Now, I don't think it was necessarily a bad headline (after all, I created it, so it had to at least be kinda good... right? ) And it did get a little response.

But overall... it was the least effective of the three, this time around.



Of course, we all know headlines are only part of the equation for a winning sales piece. But, it's arguably the most important part. Because if the headline doesn't draw people into the piece, then nothing else matters.


And while we got a few insightful responses here, with solid reasoning why each one "could" have been the winner...

I guess it just goes to show... You never really know what your market will respond to... Until you test it!
.

Okay, I saw the result before I had a chance to post, but I'll man up and confess.

I picked #2. The reason? "Lab testing" made it sound more legit. Perhaps it might have worked better as a headline for a full-on pitch.

#3 was my second choice, mostly due to the click-bait sound. Which, in hindsight, should have made me pick it first for generating clicks to the advertorial. Gotta pay attention to the details.

#1 got eliminated purely due to the length.

Thanks for posting the puzzle.

Three would have been my next choice, but I picked the worst for first, thus solidifying my claim that I'm not a trained copywriter.

Out of curiosity I just ran all three headlines through the Emotional Marketing Value Headline Analyzer, and #2 won. The real world winner, #3 came in last. None ranked very good, although the first one was too long to get the full analysis. Guess that utility isn't that good at analyzing headlines.

Number 1 of course. as to why? I got my attention. It made me read the rest of the sentences. The other two makes me want to skip it after the first word.

Gotta figure "melts fat" has allure.

Tellya, I am sum blind salamanderbeest crawlin' around deep below surfacea the Earth, skinny hide bustin' out for succor ... I am so gonna LOVE alla this weirdsily unwanted trickle down frickin' fat oozin' the tits from outta my DISMAL CAVERN EXISTENCE ceilin' like RAINDROPS in a DESERT.

Yanno what?

Gonna prone myself out all kinda YOGA an' mebbe GAPE.

Aw plz tip alla that POTENTIALLY BOOTY-SMACKIN' CELLULITE the heck insidea my scrawny salamander ass.

Tellya, I read weight loss, I see only invitation to become merely a more wraith-like frickin' specter.

I knew it was #1 or #3. I would have bet it was #1 though, for the reasons already mentioned.

I suspect the media used mattered as well. If it was in advertorial form, #3 would be the obvious best headline, because it would be consistent with format and the readership's expectations. But the salesman in me just loves #1. And if the ad were in the National Enquirer...I'm assuming that #1 headline would be more profitable. But of course, assuming something doesn't make it true, testing does.

A couple years ago, when the test was run, click bait headlines with a question mark at the end were doing very well.

#3, while not quite strong enough to be a click bait headline, resembles one.

Something along this line would have probably out-performed #3... "Could This Newly Discovered Herb Actually Melt Away Fat?"

Or just adding the word "Finally" to #3 would make it a click bait headline.

Alex

hi dude, i go for the 1, it sounds more pro, and less boring, everyone can understand what it is, and wants to follow. The number 2 sounds quietly boring, and seems complicated, because according to me, it's not everybody who will follow, as they are expecting to be having some lab results, that most people will not understand,
The number 3 is good, but if you can have something to complete it and make it more attractive, then good.

I say #3 for me 'coz people nowadays tends to look for organic and healthy way to reduce weight.

#1 is the winner for me. Though it is a bit longer than most of the ads we've seen on the internet the wording is very good.

My choice was #3: resembles a lot headlines on AOL and other sites like that and those work because they tickle curiosity bones, which all people have in abundance, all the while being just a harmless question.

I picked # 3... Then when I read a few of the responses in favor of #1 I was swayed by their logic...

I completely forgot that the OP mentioned this was a headline for an advertorial...

Now (after finding out the answer & being reminded that it's for an advertorial), I'm thinking of course #3 did better...

#1 is too "salesy"... Would undermine the way an advertorial works...

Dash it - too late to pick 3.

My favourite but you kind of feel tempted to go with 1.

My guess is many clients would have preferred 1 (because they feel it's like most of their competitors but maybe slightly better).

But 3 blasts through all the "same as," "oh no not another 500 word shouty, screamy headline" and "over the top hyperbole" which is still all the rage in weight loss.

Great to hear 3 was the winner by a country mile.


Steve

I thought it was number 1 but I'm glad to know that 3 did better.

I like shorter and to the point headlines myself.

I think the 3rd one. As an audience I feel I'll click this headline more easily as it doesn't make any claims and asks a small question which entices me to know the answer.

Further, it is not too wordy and I am a skimmer so this quickly catches my eye and I look deep into this post.

Am I right in assuming that all the credibility & benefits in #1, were also quickly delivered after the headline in #3?

#1 targets, adds credibility, provides a new take on known mechanism (metabolism), speaks to emotional objections (tough exercise and diet)... all necessary for a great lead. But "Weight Loss Breakthrough!" doesn't pull the prospect to keep reading/watching as well as the #3 headline.

So if all that great copy inside #1 is quickly delivered right after the #3 headline demands the prospect keeps reading, I'd say that combination of persuasion techniques and "keep reading" techniques explain why #3 performed best.

I'd go with 3 because it's short yet still gets the main point across.

I went with #3, half expecting #1 to be the winner (which would've made me sad).

I took #3 primarily for two reasons:
1) It's dressed like a question, unlike some sales-guy's gotta-sell-this-today, hurried pitch. Sounds more genuine. In fact, without you providing context, it could have been the headline of a serious article in a perfectly reliable magazine!
2) It was shorter and yet focused well on the (likely) core benefits, without being cheesy.

My $.02...

I'd go with #1, punchy and well written

i know the 2# is the worst but didn't expect that the 3# can defeat the first by a huge margin