Brand new here - Also looking for a critique
Since learning about the existence of copywriting nearly 2 months ago, I have become an internet info junkie. Learning all I can get my hands on along with reading some books.
I absolutely fell in love with it.
I'm sure most of you here have as well.
From the Halbert letters to John Carlton (whom is one of my favorite especially since I found cw at my age of 34, while he was 33) it's amazing to see how powerful the written word of sales is.
Although I'm new and maybe this is sort of sudden to post something for a critique, I'm eager to just get some feedback from those who know exactly what to look for and understand what copy even is.
What I might think is good with my own writing, still being new... I may miss some things that could make it much better.
Below is a "spec" email I came up with for a bodyweight training product.
I look forward to your feedback and getting familiar with those who are frequent posters here.
The email subject line (with using me as example) is:
Subject: Mike, I couldn't wait...
Hey Michael,
If you've been feeling defeated at the gym, I just found a way to kill the barbell.
I remember feeling so defeated by weight lifting. You see other guys lifting heavy with their big muscles and you can barely bench half your own body weight.
Before I get to what I found let me share what's happened in the last 3 weeks.
I've managed to gain..
-More explosive strength.
-More endurance during my workouts.
-A leaner physic without changing my diet.
-And I've used muscles I didn't even know I had.
Look, to be honest I have no idea how to share this with you because I'm so excited.
You need to see this for yourself.
Click the link below to watch the 3 minute video.
It will change your life...
And your workouts!
[ link goes here ]
Talk soon!
Michael Brian
P.S. You can get the same results within 30 days and best of all there's no risk!
I had the PAS method in mind when writing this out. I even sent to to my own inbox to make sure the first line sentence read enough to reveal some curiosity (along with the subject line).
Thanks all!
Lightin' fuses is for blowin' stuff togethah.