If You Weren't So Ugly I'd Ask You Out...

by max5ty
6 replies
Ever say that to someone?

Probably thought it though right?

Be honest now.

Yeah, I thought so.

So why do we offer our customers ugly worthless crap that doesn't work and expect them to get results?

When you get done reading this, you'll get some ideas to put some serious cash in your pocket.

As copywriters, we have the ability to set the mood...

Everyone That Reads This Will Die

How to Quit Your Job, Move to Paradise and Get Paid to Change the World

On The Inside, We're All Afraid Of Having An Ugly Baby...

you couldn't help but click could you? These headlines got tons of clicks.

I already know what the elitest out there will say: "That's just clickbait and doesn't work".
Actually, it does...thank you.

It worked on you.

Quit being shy and timid when it comes to being a copywriter!

There's a reason why some are still trying to pay for their monthly hosting fees and others are on a yacht somewhere off the coast of the Bahamas.

Get bold.

Having started out as a salesman (and a record-breaking one at that toot toot), I have very little patience for anyone that wants to preach to the rest of us about "not being too shiny".

People love a good show.

You do too, don't you?

Of course you do.

Why tell a client I can get you customers?

Why not say I have customers looking for what you have? I need a place to send them.

Why ask them if they need a website? We all know websites are almost worthless. It's the micro landing page for every offer that works.

Why offer email marketing when most people looking at a small business site could care less about doing the whole email thing?

Offer SMS texting. Text xxx to XXXX to get this or that...
or...

it's easy to include Messenger on any page. That's where everyone is anyways.

Have always been one to believe any copywriter should also be a marketer. Your customer needs more help than copywriting...they need to know how to use what you've written.

You've got an advantage.

You know how to do a whiz-bang get your attention something or other.

Study this stuff. It works.

After you learn this...

go car shopping
look for a better house
buy some clothes
go out and eat
you can do it.

Just some thoughts to get things going.

What do you think?
#ugly
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  • Profile picture of the author Princess Balestra
    Aw, for sure my teeth ain't too straight -- but if'n you can grip 'em tight withya own radiant pearlies an' hold me down so I don't buck when the pain comes on as you twist me on out ... for sure I am in on your team if I walk out on the deal packin' dental symmetry.

    Plus also, I got unsightly body hair issues, an' while I am normally fine to SOB ALONE as I tweezer my intimate problems from existence, mebbe if'n you made good with the pearlies staightenin' my teeth, prolly you OK to tackle Errant Balestra Follicles Central.

    Meantime, for sure I clicked all the links cos I figure smart headlines.

    An' prior to that I checked in on this post cos it got your name on it 'steada useless*sshole3726.

    Provocative showtime packs maxo hex, for sure.
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    Lightin' fuses is for blowin' stuff together.

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    • Profile picture of the author max5ty
      Originally Posted by Princess Balestra View Post

      Aw, for sure my teeth ain't too straight -- but if'n you can grip 'em tight withya own radiant pearlies an' hold me down so I don't buck when the pain comes on as you twist me on out ... for sure I am in on your team if I walk out on the deal packin' dental symmetry.

      Plus also, I got unsightly body hair issues, an' while I am normally fine to SOB ALONE as I tweezer my intimate problems from existence, mebbe if'n you made good with the pearlies staightenin' my teeth, prolly you OK to tackle Errant Balestra Follicles Central.

      Meantime, for sure I clicked all the links cos I figure smart headlines.

      An' prior to that I checked in on this post cos it got your name on it 'steada useless*sshole3726.

      Provocative showtime packs maxo hex, for sure.
      I must say, you have a way with words. Love your style though.

      Originally Posted by OptedIn View Post

      I think you must be speaking about what you offer your customers, since this is something I would never consider doing.
      What the...

      I almost wrecked my Range Rover when I read this.

      All my customers have loved my work.

      Except for that one guy that thought I was a little over the top...

      oh yeah, and that company that thought my idea to advertise their business on a porn site was ridiculous until it broke some good records.

      Then there was that old lady from Tucson...

      Oh well, you can't please everyone.

      Enjoyed your comment though.
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      • Profile picture of the author OptedIn
        Originally Posted by max5ty View Post

        Enjoyed your comment though.
        Well, this was what you said: "So why do we offer our customers ugly worthless crap that doesn't work and expect them to get results?"

        Who's "we?" :-)
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        "He not busy being born, is busy dying." - Bob Dylan • "I vibe with the light-dark point. Heavy." - Words that Bob Dylan wishes he had written.

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        • Profile picture of the author max5ty
          Originally Posted by OptedIn View Post

          Well, this was what you said: "So why do we offer our customers ugly worthless crap that doesn't work and expect them to get results?"

          Who's "we?" :-)
          Thanks for the excellent question.

          We is a term that refers to the whole copywriting community.

          We as a human race have some problems...

          it's a whole part of an entire concept.

          You could respond by saying YOU have no problems.

          A rather selfish approach but one I guess you could assume...and you'd probably be right depending on who you asked.
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          • Profile picture of the author OptedIn
            Originally Posted by max5ty View Post

            A rather selfish approach but one I guess you could assume...and you'd probably be right depending on who you asked.
            In this situation, the only person I would need to ask, is myself. Of course, I do that before presenting anything, to anyone. I am my own strongest critic, when it comes to my work product. I'm tough to please and have very high standards. I am judged by my work.

            Edited to add: Selfish is my middle name.
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            "He not busy being born, is busy dying." - Bob Dylan • "I vibe with the light-dark point. Heavy." - Words that Bob Dylan wishes he had written.

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  • Profile picture of the author OptedIn
    Originally Posted by max5ty View Post

    So why do we offer our customers ugly worthless crap that doesn't work and expect them to get results?

    What do you think?
    I think you must be speaking about what you offer your customers, since this is something I would never consider doing.
    Signature

    "He not busy being born, is busy dying." - Bob Dylan • "I vibe with the light-dark point. Heavy." - Words that Bob Dylan wishes he had written.

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