The Secret of Copywriting in 29 Words.

40 replies
... is when the realisticest evah fyooture smoochies up excloosively on your troubled ass ...

an' whispers

evrythin' gonna be OK

so's the only problem you got is bein' rowdy AF.
#copywriting #hex gals on a romp #ooh ooh you wanna #persuasion #plz no reptiles #secret #words
Avatar of Unregistered
  • Profile picture of the author max5ty
    Originally Posted by Princess Balestra View Post

    ... is when the realisticest evah fyooture smoochies up excloosively on your troubled ass ...

    an' whispers

    evrythin' gonna be OK

    so's the only problem you got is bein' rowdy AF.
    Can you explain further?
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11470771].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author GordonJ
      Originally Posted by max5ty View Post

      Can you explain further?
      when I feel like it.

      BEFORE/AFTER.

      NOW/TOMORROW

      BUY THIS/PROBLEM SOLVED.

      An 8 word translation of this copywriting secret.

      GordonJ

      PS. I often use a pic. NO words.

      Prospect is walking in circles on this side, my copy will get her to cross the bridge, to greener pastures where unicorns graze in fields of gold.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11470797].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author max5ty
        Originally Posted by GordonJ View Post

        when I feel like it.

        BEFORE/AFTER.

        NOW/TOMORROW

        BUY THIS/PROBLEM SOLVED.

        An 8 word translation of this copywriting secret.

        GordonJ

        PS. I often use a pic. NO words.

        Prospect is walking in circles on this side, my copy will get her to cross the bridge, to greener pastures where unicorns graze in fields of gold.
        This caused me to question the answer of life, the universe and everything. Google told me 42.

        Maybe you'll get a different answer. Google -- "the answer to life the universe and everything" without the apostrophes.
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11470870].message }}
  • Max,

    It all makes sense when you get a copy of Mss Balestra's dictioneryness and thesaurusly.

    But you need a Princess to buy it for you.


    Steve
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11470790].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author max5ty
      Originally Posted by Steve The Copywriter View Post

      Max,

      It all makes sense when you get a copy of Mss Balestra's dictioneryness and thesaurusly.

      But you need a Princess to buy it for you.


      Steve
      Thank you.

      Sometimes with this new generation of copywriters, I'm lost. Quite sure they're brilliant, but maybe I'm just getting old...no maybe about it I guess...I am getting old.

      I'll look for that dictioneryness and thesaurusly thingy.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11470865].message }}
  • Hellor your hiney,

    I remember years ago Dick Benson told me the secret of copywriting in 4 words.

    "Head down, keep writing!"

    Chinchilla
    Signature
    Looking For A Classic Copywriting Book? I'm Selling My Copywriting Book Library.

    Many hard to find books available. If interested send me the title you're looking for in a P.M.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11470943].message }}
  • Thanks to evrywan stoppin' by.


    Jus' wanted to kick 2019 off to a fun start.


    Main thing is ... we all got illoosions need writin' into reality (an' mebbe reality needs writin' into illoosions if'n you write for fast food joints sellin' crap) ... an' a New Year brings opportonities we ain't seen yet.


    Gotta hope we all write our best stuff evah this year an' surprise ourselves outta our own undergarments.


    My only disappointment is how nowan spammed this post thinkin' they'd hit on a surefire winnah.


    An' dear Alex Cohen nevah showed to pour immaculate scorn on my inflated pecadillos.


    But what is life other than a battle for perfection?
    Signature

    Lightin' fuses is for blowin' stuff together.

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11470995].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Alex Cohen
      Originally Posted by Princess Balestra View Post



      An' dear Alex Cohen nevah showed to pour immaculate scorn on my inflated pecadillos.

      Please don't think I ignore the worthless drivel you post. I do ignore it. Just don't think I do.

      Thanks.

      Alex
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11472089].message }}
  • ....wonders who the oldest is - Max, Alex or me.

    Steve?

    It's you.

    Dammit.

    I remember writing my first Ad on a piece of parchment with a quill and ink.

    And pin the epic masterpiece onto the tree - (the one where the target audience wandered past).

    Now I have to wire my trusted olivetti into the interweb with elastic bands and paperclips.


    Steve
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11471062].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author max5ty
      Originally Posted by Steve The Copywriter View Post

      ....wonders who the oldest is - Max, Alex or me.

      Steve?

      It's you.

      Dammit.

      I remember writing my first Ad on a piece of parchment with a quill and ink.

      And pin the epic masterpiece onto the tree - (the one where the target audience wandered past).

      Now I have to wire my trusted olivetti into the interweb with elastic bands and paperclips.


      Steve
      I'm in my late 50's...but I remember when I was around 10 I was so fascinated with ads I started clipping all the cool ones out I found and was saving them.

      Had stacks of them.

      Had some taped to my bedroom wall, but my mom didn't find that amusing so she made me take them all down.

      Always thought the Wall Street Journal had the best. This was all before I'd ever heard of the term "swipe file".

      Had this little paper route delivering a paper that was called the Grit.

      At 10 years old I thought I was making some big cash.

      About this time I'd seen an ad for this little door chain that had an alarm on it, so I sent for a sample...and ended up signing some kind of contract where I'd send them so much a month. They had no idea I guess that I was only 10.

      Got the sample and spent the whole day going door to door in my little town trying to get people to preorder one.

      Probably looked pretty funny, the nerdy self that I was.

      Didn't sell a single one until the end of the day when I went by my piano teachers house. Ended up selling her the only one I had.

      My mom found out what I was doing and shut the operation down. I think this whole episode got me started on my sales career though.

      Somewhere around 12, I'd seen that a local printer did bumper stickers.

      I went to the hobby shop and got some rub off stencils and put together a sales letter. Hadn't even ever heard the term copywriter.

      After getting some samples printed, I mailed about 25 letters to local businesses with a sample and asked them if they'd carry these for me.

      Not sure if I got any orders, I doubt it...but my mom shut that operation down too when she found out what I was doing.

      Looking back, it amazes me how a 12-year-old could get a print shop to print stuff for him. Guess it was a different time.

      Those are just the beginning of some of my adventures. Pretty much all of them failures lol.

      You'd think that after all the failures I'd have given up but seems like the ideas just kept coming and the failures just kept piling up.

      Failures can teach someone a lot though.

      OMG...jump ahead a few years when the internet came out and I saw what people like Cory Rudl were doing, the ideas just multiplied.

      Seems like we have it so easy nowadays...but I'm sure someday people will look back on this time in history and wonder how we made it.

      Sorry for being long-winded, but your post made me stop and think about the past a little.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11471133].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author GordonJ
        Originally Posted by max5ty View Post

        I'm in my late 50's...but I remember when I was around 10 I was so fascinated with ads I started clipping all the cool ones out I found and was saving them.

        Had stacks of them.

        Had some taped to my bedroom wall, but my mom didn't find that amusing so she made me take them all down.

        Always thought the Wall Street Journal had the best. This was all before I'd ever heard of the term "swipe file".

        Had this little paper route delivering a paper that was called the Grit.

        At 10 years old I thought I was making some big cash.

        About this time I'd seen an ad for this little door chain that had an alarm on it, so I sent for a sample...and ended up signing some kind of contract where I'd send them so much a month. They had no idea I guess that I was only 10.

        Got the sample and spent the whole day going door to door in my little town trying to get people to preorder one.

        Probably looked pretty funny, the nerdy self that I was.

        Didn't sell a single one until the end of the day when I went by my piano teachers house. Ended up selling her the only one I had.

        My mom found out what I was doing and shut the operation down. I think this whole episode got me started on my sales career though.

        Somewhere around 12, I'd seen that a local printer did bumper stickers.

        I went to the hobby shop and got some rub off stencils and put together a sales letter. Hadn't even ever heard the term copywriter.

        After getting some samples printed, I mailed about 25 letters to local businesses with a sample and asked them if they'd carry these for me.

        Not sure if I got any orders, I doubt it...but my mom shut that operation down too when she found out what I was doing.

        Looking back, it amazes me how a 12-year-old could get a print shop to print stuff for him. Guess it was a different time.

        Those are just the beginning of some of my adventures. Pretty much all of them failures lol.

        You'd think that after all the failures I'd have given up but seems like the ideas just kept coming and the failures just kept piling up.

        Failures can teach someone a lot though.

        OMG...jump ahead a few years when the internet came out and I saw what people like Cory Rudl were doing, the ideas just multiplied.

        Seems like we have it so easy nowadays...but I'm sure someday people will look back on this time in history and wonder how we made it.

        Sorry for being long-winded, but your post made me stop and think about the past a little.
        Well, if not the, one of the oldest here, turning 69 in 20 days.

        Speaking of 10 years old. TWO life changing events for me in 1960. About 6 weeks apart, the first was being asked to pick flowers for a neighbor, the other being 'healed' by Ernest Angley and having my first Out of Body Experience. The latter a story for another day.

        I was kicking a ball around in my back yard at 88 Nottingham Dr. in Tallmadge, Ohio. My neighbor, Mrs. Ilg, called for me to come over. She said she was having guests over in the afternoon and wanted some flowers from the field. The field across the street had been a nursery at one time and had gone to seed, but the Springtime came alert with colors of the perennials.

        So I grabbed my little red Raido Flyer wagon and headed into the field and gathered a big wagon full. Mrs. Ilg picked out what she wanted, gave me two nickles, and told me to take them next store to her sister-in-law. I did, she picked some out and I headed home.

        Then Mr. White, who routinely washed, waxed and detailed his car every Sat. morning called me over. After a brief conversation, he offered me a quarter to help him wax his car, and said he could give me some MAGIC WORDS to sell all the flowers in my wagon to the houses on the street. I wasn't much for selling, but MAGIC, WHAT 10 year old boy doesn't have a dream of being a magician.

        So, under his instruction (Mr. White was a local insurance agent), I knocked on the first door, Mrs. Mitan answered, and I asked if she wanted to buy some flowers...which she laughed at the idea, responding with:

        "Jay, I can walk out my back door and pick all the flowers I want for FREE."

        She had a good point, because that is exactly what all the ladies and gentlemen would do, pick their own.

        So, I ran back to Mr. White and he gave me the MAGIC WORDS. I thought they were silly, but, being an obedient child of the 50's, I went back to Mrs. Mitan's door and knocked.

        She answered, somewhat annoyed, and before she could say anything, I blurted out the MAGIC WORDS.

        "Mr. White was in the field this morning, and wanted me to tell you, he saw a lot of mice, spiders and a big black snake."

        Something happened.

        The color drained from her face as she repeated the words, SPIDERS, SNAKES AND MICE, and added oh my.

        She asked how much, I told her a nickle and she reached in the ashtray full of coins by the door and handed me a nickle.

        OK. Well in the next 10 minutes, I sold out my wagon. Made over 10 sales on the street where their back yards adjoined the field of flowers. It was magical.

        Then I spent the next 45 mins, Wax On Wax Off, and got a quarter from it.

        50 cents in 15 mins using MAGIC WORDS, 25 cents in 45 mins at manual labor.

        LESSON LEARNT.

        Mr. White sent me home with two books from his library.

        Elmer Wheeler's TESTED SENTENCES THAT SELL and
        Elmer Leterman's THE SALE BEGINS WHEN THE CUSTOMER SAYS NO.

        That was my start in the use of MAGIC WORDS to get some moolah coming in.

        GordonJ

        PS. Like many, I too did the GRIT thing, seeds and junk from the comic books, and later at 16, I began to sell advertising on ACTION AD CLOCKS I had placed in barber shops, pizza joints and dry cleaners. Made more in high school than 5 kids combined.

        PSS. It was sometime in the mid 60's that I first met Gary Halbert and Dennis Haslinger at a place in Akron called KRISTEE PRODUCTS a local mail order company, one of the oldest in the area. THAT story for a future time too, Gary was larger than life even before he became a Prince.
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11471207].message }}
        • Hellor GJ,

          Originally Posted by GordonJ View Post

          Well, if not the, one of the oldest here, turning 69 in 20 days.
          I believe you are the oldest, didn't you come down from the mountain of Brody? You had those 10 Commandments of Hotsheets etched in stone.

          Chinchilla
          Signature
          Looking For A Classic Copywriting Book? I'm Selling My Copywriting Book Library.

          Many hard to find books available. If interested send me the title you're looking for in a P.M.
          {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11471260].message }}
          • Profile picture of the author GordonJ
            Originally Posted by ThePromotionalGuy View Post

            Hellor GJ,



            I believe you are the oldest, didn't you come down from the mountain of Brody? You had those 10 Commandments of Hotsheets etched in stone.

            Chinchilla
            Thanks, I'm still as cutting edge as a freshly sharpened Ginzu. (inside chattel joke)

            Brody (Harvey) was only ONE of the commandment contributors.

            The others being Karbo (Joe), Powers (Melvin), Halbert, Suarez...

            And
            Burt Morgan
            Ed Barr
            Fred "Papa" Felice
            Russell Thomas
            and
            that dumb ol dirt farmer hisself, Frank Yoder...

            And along with the commandments, many a psalm contributed by a horde of wisened
            geezers and not forgetting the gals...

            Annie Hershey
            Fran Renner
            and Virgie the million dollar a year escort. HA!

            GordonJ

            I may be old of body, but quite young of spirit, a twist I reckon...the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.

            PS. Halbert used to call me (among other things) Rev. Jay.
            {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11471273].message }}
  • ...My first Ad experience apart from the parchment, ink and tree.

    Was from one of the best birthday presents ever - a John Bull Printing Set.

    I wish I could fully remember my first headline - might have been -

    "Wow I got the letters the right way up and the ink pad worked"

    I would have put an explanation mark at the end but sadly there wasn't one.


    Steve


    P.S.Thinking about it - over the decades I must have used variations ot this headline loads of times...
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11471141].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author ryanbiddulph
    2: Be Honest.

    Signing off from exotic Oman, neighbor of camels,

    RB
    Signature
    Ryan Biddulph, Blogger, Author, World Traveling Digital Nomad
    If you want to become a full time blogger you can buy my eBook here
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11471210].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Jeffery
    The sign of a good copywriter will convince a reader of anything..


    Customer: I hate "mustard" on bologna sandwiches.


    Deli Manager: Okay, would you prefer something else?


    IMer: As long as you pay your bill we'll put anything you want on it.



    Copywriter: _____
    Signature
    A full Life Feels Good
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11471282].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Frank Donovan
      Originally Posted by Jeffery View Post

      The sign of a good copywriter will convince a reader of anything..

      Customer: I hate "mustard" on bologna sandwiches.

      Deli Manager: Okay, would you prefer something else?

      IMer: As long as you pay your bill we'll put anything you want on it.

      Copywriter: _____

      Copywriter: Our bologna sandwiches are 99% mustard-free!
      .
      Signature
      TOP TIP: To browse the forum like a Pro, select "View Classic" from the drop-down menu under your user name.

      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11471295].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author GordonJ
      Originally Posted by Jeffery View Post

      The sign of a good copywriter will convince a reader of anything..


      Customer: I hate "mustard" on bologna sandwiches.


      Deli Manager: Okay, would you prefer something else?


      IMer: As long as you pay your bill we'll put anything you want on it.



      Copywriter: _____
      May be right about a GOOD copy writer.

      A GREAT ONE would find the guy who likes mustard, and offer him a mustard of the month. AND, a free pack of bologna with his subscription.

      Then rent his name to

      Bread of the month club.
      Wine for bologna sandwich eaters.
      Manufacturers of meatless, vegan, bologna.
      Mustard seed kits.

      Reports on How to Make Your Own Bologna, with a back end of a grinder.
      How to Create and Sell Mustards and make $100,000.00 a year.

      But maybe not.

      GordonJ
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11471299].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Jeffery
      Originally Posted by Jeffery View Post

      The sign of a good copywriter will convince a reader of anything..

      Customer: I hate "mustard" on bologna sandwiches.

      Deli Manager: Okay, would you prefer something else?

      IMer: As long as you pay your bill we'll put anything you want on it.

      Copywriter: _____

      You may be interested in the alternative (never use the word upsell):


      1. No mustard! In fact, no sandwich at all.


      2. One redeemable voucher at Sopranos Bada Bing.


      Jeffery 100%
      Signature
      A full Life Feels Good
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11473743].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Jeffery
    Sir, our possum sandwiches are served without mustard.
    Signature
    A full Life Feels Good
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11471313].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author savidge4
      Originally Posted by Jeffery View Post

      Sir, our possum sandwiches are served without mustard.
      Thank Goodness, I was about to pull your Southern Hick card for that one!
      Signature
      Success is an ACT not an idea
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11473554].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author Jeffery
        Originally Posted by savidge4 View Post

        Thank Goodness, I was about to pull your Southern Hick card for that one!

        Be careful 'what you pull' you better hope I like it!
        Signature
        A full Life Feels Good
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11473732].message }}
  • I so love how we got sum great stories gowin' down here on a Rowdy AF ticket.

    Key here is kinda talismanic moments ... or people ... or plain frickin' whatevah ... that pooled us all here to this place where summa what we sayin' makes sum cool kinda sense, even if the initial prompt CONTINUES to schlap aside all other evident experts.

    Thing is, why we ain't all cookin' up Jamie Oliver Stuffs?

    Yeah, cos put on a culinary show an' paint evry stomach linin' with the ever-inspired Rembrandts of your cuisinola ... an' you got an apartment fulla THE SLAVERIN'.

    tbh my Jamie Oliver Stuffs're called CARBON.

    Which is why I persist before you as the least effusive & successful TV Chef evah.

    Truth is ... I took alla that carbonized proto-intake an' reconfigured it as momentarily acceptable garbage.

    Then I figured a way to make it sound moderately palatable.

    From here, total galactic conquest was only a few steps away.

    Anyways, let's keep gowin' on this whatevah -- stoopidly evocative as its meanderismo happens on out.

    Alternative is sum guy posts tamara 'bout how he got a website for BEAGLE NEUTERIN' needs kinda help ... an' we all go shlammy our bestest evah tips ovah that place steada stickin' with a deloosional Princess clearly way offa her tits ain't appealin' to nowan ...
    Signature

    Lightin' fuses is for blowin' stuff together.

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11471327].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Jeffery
      Originally Posted by Princess Balestra View Post

      I so love how we got sum great stories gowin' down here on a Rowdy AF ticket.


      Edited to save a tree.

      OMG, I just realized that I use google search more on your posts than all others and less as the more I read your posts cuz I'm starting to understand most of it, lol.


      You are okay in my book Princess.
      Signature
      A full Life Feels Good
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11471336].message }}
      • Originally Posted by Jeffery View Post

        OMG

        Treed to save an edit.
        Signature

        Lightin' fuses is for blowin' stuff together.

        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11471344].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author GordonJ
      Originally Posted by Princess Balestra View Post


      ...
      Anyways, let's keep gowin' on this whatevah -- stoopidly evocative as its meanderismo happens on out.

      Alternative is sum guy posts tamara 'bout how he got a website for BEAGLE NEUTERIN' needs kinda help ... an' we all go shlammy our bestest evah tips ovah that place steada stickin' with a deloosional Princess clearly way offa her tits ain't appealin' to nowan ...
      The best of the WF, with allegedly over a million 'members', and hundreds and oft thousands a day visiting, is found in the sub forums, this one, OFF LINE, and of course, the MIND WARRIORS, (there's your sarcasm).

      If they pared it down to just a few sub forums, my hope would be these would be left standing, unless of course, the powers that be in FL, prefer mindless babble so as to confuse the masses, and get them to buy into this place being the BEST markeetplace online, HA!

      Thanks Princess B. You do class the place up.

      Gordonj
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11471439].message }}
      • Originally Posted by GordonJ View Post

        Thanks Princess B. You do class the place up.


        Gordonj

        Aw, see -- now I got no clue whether to BLUB or SWOON.
        Signature

        Lightin' fuses is for blowin' stuff together.

        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11471707].message }}
  • ...back to the mustard.

    Trying to imagine a copywriting gig where the good people hate mustard and the mission is to get them to love it.

    Halberts "starving crowd" analogy might help...


    Steve
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11471579].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author GordonJ
      Originally Posted by Steve The Copywriter View Post

      ...back to the mustard.

      Trying to imagine a copywriting gig where the good people hate mustard and the mission is to get them to love it.

      Halberts "starving crowd" analogy might help...


      Steve
      POTUS, CHOICES; A SHIZEN SANDWICH, OR A T**D ROLL UP, EITHER BEST SERVED WITH MUSTARD.

      We got the roll-up, and even creamy hot mustard doesn't make it go down any easier.

      It might be THE Field, where you are actually trying to get people to love something they innately or instinctively hate.

      The starving crowd says, "Shut up and govern!"

      Alas,

      GordonJ

      PS Old saw, "a man convinced against his will, is of the same opinion still." As we learned from enhanced interrogations.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11471715].message }}
  • yes.

    feed the customers existing desires.

    never easy to create a new one.


    Steve
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11471743].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author max5ty
    On a side note...

    I did see a study a couple of months ago on mustard.

    Was done by the University of Ohio.

    Seems scientists have isolated two ingredients in mustard that has almost unbelievable benefits.

    One of the ingredients when isolated has been proven to shrink tumors.

    Another ingredient has been shown in lab studies (250 people), to minimize wrinkles around the eyes (crows feet) by 83% in as little as 32 days.

    The second ingredient has also been shown to increase libido by 71%, and halt male pattern baldness within 17 days.

    Some of the before and after pictures on the wrinkles and hair loss are crazy.

    Studies show that using mustard on sandwiches and other food is the quickest way to experience these benefits.

    This is exciting and cutting edge research.

    Also on a side note...

    I have no idea if any of the above is true (or do I?) but it might be/or might not be the way I'd try to convince you to use mustard. With enough studies, we can almost find any statistics we want to twist anything around.

    Think I'm kidding?

    Research, research, research. It's an amazing thing.

    Of course no copywriter ever stretches the truth...do they?

    Google: the benefits of mustard
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11471744].message }}
  • K, so now ima wandrin' round the mall with eyes shrunk to half their normal size cos the mustard mistook 'em for tumors ... miraculously not seemin' to squint as I pounce upon hirsute guy after hirsute guy in a lust-fueled haze.

    Yeah, so next time I get a hot dog an' the guy says, "you want mustard with that?" ima replyin' "squeeze it on tillya wrists ache, Sweetie."
    Signature

    Lightin' fuses is for blowin' stuff together.

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11471748].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author max5ty
      Originally Posted by Princess Balestra View Post

      K, so now ima wandrin' round the mall with eyes shrunk to half their normal size cos the mustard mistook 'em for tumors ... miraculously not seemin' to squint as I pounce upon hirsute guy after hirsute guy in a lust-fueled haze.

      Yeah, so next time I get a hot dog an' the guy says, "you want mustard with that?" ima replyin' "squeeze it on tillya wrists ache, Sweetie."
      Lol, that is funny. You're just not right sometimes.

      But also, if I was to be hired by a mustard company to increase their sales...

      I could put out a report on how ketchup is made. Not all advertising has to be positive. It can be negative if it drives customers to your client.

      Big tractors drive through the tomato fields and harvest all the tomatoes.

      Acres of them in a matter of hours.

      Worms, bugs and every other critter gets swept up.

      All the tomatoes are smashed in automated machines that turn the tomatoes into a paste.

      Worms, bugs and animal feces are all ground up into a paste...the paste then has 48 chemicals added to preserve taste, color, and the ability to preserve itself.

      Breakdown of the chemicals and their dangers...

      So the next time you have your guy at the mall squeeze that ketchup on your hotdog...consider the consequences.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11471749].message }}
      • Originally Posted by max5ty View Post

        .You're just not right sometimes.
        tbh I'll take that over bein' default ditzbrain gal any day. - speshly if mosta them times are tamara an' the day after.

        Big deal I see loomin' 'bout how a rampantly noomerous hoomankind gonna feed 'emselves sustainably an' healthily is how we all gotta start mnommnommnommin' on BUGS.

        High in protein, cheapo to farm, an' potentially allurin' if'n we can figure smart ways to deliver 'em to our dinner plates while simultaneously magickin' away any notion they gonna creep around between potato an' broccoli before SUDDENLY leapin' up an' bitin' their mandibles on our frickin' tits, I figure bugs could be WINNAZ in the hands of a sufficiently pressganged copy person.

        Tellya, thing I hate 'bout most burgers is how the meat squishes away fromya lips the harder you chomp.

        Throw in a BUG BURGER, them chitinous legs gonna hold both sidesa the bap togethah like Velcro.
        Signature

        Lightin' fuses is for blowin' stuff together.

        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11471780].message }}
  • well...would you believe it the mustard campaign has got potential.

    An interesting quote from the son of the founder of Colemans Mustard.

    "Jeremiah James Colman was asked how he had made such a vast fortune from the sale of mustard he replied 'I make my money from the mustard that people throw away on the sides of their plate."

    Make a stash when people use your product and when they don't.

    Either way they seem to enjoy it.

    Imagine all the headlines...


    Steve
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11471947].message }}
  • ...Now now - there are only a few left on the esteemed copywriting forum.

    I've always got along well with Max and Alex.

    Can't be any real reason why they can't.

    But just in case pass me the flack jacket and tin hat.


    Steve
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11472109].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Alex Cohen
      Originally Posted by Steve The Copywriter View Post

      ...Now now - there are only a few left on the esteemed copywriting forum.

      I've always got along well with Max and Alex.

      Can't be any real reason why they can't.

      But just in case pass me the flack jacket and tin hat.

      Steve
      Not to worry Steve... Princess and I are just horsing around.

      Hey, speaking of postcards, there's a pretty cool group on Facebook that talks about postcards. PM me if you'd like the URL.

      Alex
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11472195].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Anh Quang
    I don't understand what you're talking about
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11472673].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author GordonJ
      Originally Posted by Anh Quang View Post

      I don't understand what you're talking about
      You need a special decoder ring. Once you have it, the secrets appear. It is free to acquire, but you must know the code to order.

      We copywriters, at least here, like our clarity to be opaque.

      GordonJ
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11473534].message }}
  • Signature

    Lightin' fuses is for blowin' stuff together.

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11473729].message }}
Avatar of Unregistered

Trending Topics