I'm trying to create a cold email to get business owners to try out a demo for my service. Its SMS based so they just need to send a keyword to a number to get going.
Here's my copy:
Hey, my name is XXXX and I run a software company in the UK. I found you while searching for [Niche] in [City] on Google maps. I'd like to ask you a couple of quick questions.
What do 99% of your customers look at every five minutes?
- The grass grow
- Their phone
- Their feet
Let me ask you another one...
How quickly do you read a new text message?
If you're like most people you check it within five minutes. *
Again, our phones are dominating our time.
Would you like a piece of this?
We're launching a new product to help service businesses just like yours manage their customer engagement, basically to get your customers coming back again and again.
Its all SMS based so you can get your customers attention right where they're spending much of their time.
We've set up a quick demo so you can see for yourself exactly how it works. Simply send the keyword XXXX to 123-456-7890 or reply to this message.
*Source of stats
I'm no copywriter and I'm sure there is ( a lot) of room for tweaking/ improving this, but I'd love to know your thoughts on whether this is a good approach to take or not.