Help needed with review of WSO / sales copy

Hi Roger:

Have you actually made money using your product? If so, a headline using your experience is the BEST...better than almost anything else. Here's an example that got me to click on a squeeze page "How I make $15,000 per month using article marketing". Benefit focused or testimonial based headlines are also very effective.

I did not notice any testimonials in your sales letter. You need them...give your product away if you have to, but get some testimonials with pictures, full names, web addresses and preferably audio versions plus written text. Video is the latest craze but a bit challenging.

I agree that your WSO offer was way too long, filled with way to much info about you and too little about WIIFM (what's in it for me)...it needed to be focused on benefits to the buyer. Check out some of the really successful WSO sales pages for ideas and print them out. Then, highlight things you think are good and use them as ideas (I'm not suggesting copying, only using for inspiration) for your next WSO.

Another point, your subheads should tell your whole story quickly and easily. Some people like to read the whole letter, while others skim first, then if they're interested, they will read the whole thing.

Here's a secret almost no one uses but it is very effective. Use bullets that relate to the pages of your ebook. In other words you could say "On page 7 you'll discover a secret technique for..." or "Look at page 14 and you'll find 7 simple ways to..."

Is anything about your process/project easy or quick? Using these words can be very effective in headlines.

Your paragraphs and sentences are a bit long, you want to use simple words to make it easy for the reader. Shorten paragraphs to 3 or 4 sentences at most. You can also use 1 sentence paragraphs to make an important point.

Best of luck with your project,

Regards, Teddi

Roger, Wrong first step. You're getting ahead of yourself.

First, you need to define the group(s) that will benefit from your product. That means understanding what benefits are.

Here's an article from my newsletter that explains that in a way that might work for you. It's from October of 2000.

-----===(*)===-----

Yet Another Blasted Article On
The Difference Between Features and Benefits
(alternatively titled)

"Where's the Party?"

The primary function of marketing is simple: To create a
situation in which people willingly give you what you want in
exchange for what you offer.

You need to do one of two things to make any deal work:

Find the people who have what you want and who already want
what you've got, and propose a deal...

...or, find out what those people already want, get it, and
give it to them. (This is actually a simpler process, as it
doesn't matter what you start out with in this approach, and
your risk is much smaller.)

One of the most curious things about marketers is their
almost universal failure to grasp this aspect of their trade.

They don't understand what people really want.

Sometimes it's because they're wrapped up in the way they
present the deal. These are the folks that win Clio Awards
for their cleverness and "creativity," and find themselves
clientless shortly thereafter. (Because their clients either
went elsewhere or went broke.)

Sometimes it's because they try to fit the market to the
product, which is something like resizing your feet to fit
your boots.

Sometimes it's because they separate branding from response,
which should be punishable by being barbecued over old issues
of the Wall Street Journal.

Most often it's because they fail to recognise - and
emphasize - the difference between features, products, and
benefits.

This is a Very Bad Thing®.

....

A long time ago, in a lifetime far, far away, I was employed
by a "Corporation." (To you creative types, this is something
like the Empire in Star Wars, only less benevolent.)

They wanted me to teach their people to sell a line of
nutritional products. Vitamins and the like. Great products,
but not real "sexy" stuff.

You can imagine the training process, eh?

They all wanted to do the same thing: List ingredients. The
more, the merrier.

"We gotcher vitamin A, yer vitamin b, and yer vitamins X, Y
and Z. Absorption rate's over 90%. Cold processed, just like
yer faveright beer!"

"Ummm... No," says I, in my most professorial voice. "That
ain't how you sell vitamins."

"Huh?"

"Huh?" seemed like a wall in their minds. Even the fitness
fanatics couldn't get past the Ingredient Approach to selling
vitamins.

We explained that the ingredients were of no interest to the
customer, except as far as they produced a benefit the
customer was looking for. (Benefit being defined as "Whatever
brings the customer closer to the state in which they'd like
to live.")

The customer, we pointed out, was similarly uninterested in
the product. Little tasteless pills that they had to remember
to take every day? What a nuisance! That's too much like
taking medicine.

They didn't want the features (the ingredients), and they
didn't really even want the product itself. So why do people
buy vitamins?

Vitamin C sells big because people know it helps them feel
better when they've got a cold. That's easy. Removing pain
that people understand is a simple sale.

Anti-oxidants help people minimise wear and tear on their
bodies, by cleaning up poisons. Sort of nebulous, until you
tell them the unpleasant things those poisons can cause.

B vitamins help reduce the effects of stress. People who are
interested in their health "got it" right away.

The salespeople didn't.

We'd explain to them that what people get from vitamins is
the key. More energy to enjoy the things they do. Less
stress. Reduced risk of certain illnesses. Better sleep.
Stuff that makes a difference.

With vitamins, *as with any product*, the key is simple:

They don't care what's in it
until they know what's in it for them.

Some of them learned. The rest needed a more "concrete"
example.

But how do you make the point? If your salespeople (or you)
are focusing on the features of your product, how do you get
them to switch their attention to benefits?

....

Try something like this.

One day, put a bag of groceries on a desk somewhere in the
office. Include a 5 pound sack of flour, a gallon of milk, a
dozen eggs, a pound of sugar, a stick of butter, and
miscellaneous flavorings. Generic stuff.

Tell them you grabbed someone else's groceries by mistake,
and ask each of them individually if they want to buy them
from you. At a markup, of course.

Hey, the store makes a profit, why shouldn't you?

They'll look at you like you have two heads. At the end of
the day you'll still have those groceries.

A couple of days later, have a birthday party for one of your
staff. If it isn't anyone's birthday, get someone to play
along. (This works best if you time it for a birthday,
though.)

Play music. Have someone bring out a cake, complete with
candles and balloons, and sing "Happy Birthday" to the
victi... err... lucky celebrant. Do it up right.

The next day, get everyone together and ask if they enjoyed
the party. (Except the Grinches. Never ask a Grinch about a
party.)

When they say yes, ask them, "Then why didn't anyone buy
those groceries from me?"

The confusion will be a tangible thing. Let it simmer for a
moment.

"Those groceries are the ingredients that go into a cake. The
'features' if you will."

"You know, if I had gone in to buy that cake and been offered
the flour, butter, eggs and all that went into it, I wouldn't
have bought them either. I paid for a cake, not a sack of
groceries."

"I paid for a cake, but that's not what I bought."

"What I bought was a party."

"THAT is the difference between features and benefits."

-----===(*)===-----
End of article.

So, Roger, what's their party?

This is a time/money multiplier sale. An aspirin sale, with a rose attached.

For programmers, the key is going from a multiplier of 1 - where you do the work, get paid, and repeat the process - to a much higher multiplier. The case where you do the work once and sell the same product over and over and your income per hour of work goes way up.

Here's an excercise in benefit thinking for you: List every good thing that comes from that, in concrete terms. How much time do they save, how much more money do they make, etc.

Now, list every good thing that comes from those concrete benefits, whether concrete (better car with the money) or intangible (more freedom, security for their families, etc).

Now, ask yourself why they want those things.

When you really look at the answers, and I do suggest writing them down, you'll have an aerial view of what the party is for them.

Assuming the prospect is the marketer who wants to add hot products to their line, you're looking at a different set of benefits up front. You're talking about saving them time, cutting waste and hassles, and improving their odds of successful product development and marketing. Shaving the curve, as it were.

For that market, do the same exercise you just did for programmers. You'll get slightly different answers to the initial questions. The further you get into the process, the more they'll start to look the same.

We all want the same things. We just have different ways of going about getting them.

When you write copy from the new perspective, you are far more likely to talk to what the prospect really wants.

If you start writing your copy before you know the REAL benefits your prospect stands to gain from your product, you're going to have the same problem you (and so many others) have now: Benefititis.

You're going to list ingredients, when you should be selling the party.


Paul