Hi there, instead of saying 'could you fight him off?' you could say something punchy. like 'How to use the secrets of your body's natural ability to bring anyone to their knees'. This gives a sense of a proven method that you guys are teaching instead of asking the customer whether they can outrun the invader. I hope it helps.

Also, your selling point-'FREE FIRST LESSON' this is not highlighted. people love free stuff. it should be somewhere in the beginning right below the 'LEARN PERSONAL SAFETY'. Also, instead of just saying 'LEARN PERSONAL SAFETY' your call to action should be more fear relieving. For example, 'LEARN PERSONAL SAFETY NOW AND BOOST YOUR CONFIDENCE'.

Agree here. This is an in-demand niche right now for a variety of reasons - I think with a little flyer refinement you could be well on your way to some new students.
On this headline bit - would also use a more active verb ("defend", "protect", "flatten", "disable", etc) and visual phrase here. You might use Youtube for inspiration here - see the titles for the most popular videos in this niche, etc.

Might also make some of the benefits more specific. Were I a prospect, I'd probably take all of the benefits listed there as "table stakes"; is there anything new/unusual/unique you might offer/list? ("learn how to end a fight in 4 seconds" etc?)

Lastly, have you taught before? Is there any kind of testimonial/social proof you could add to the flyer from a satisfied student?

What does your customer want?

What is the language they use?

I'm not sure what the language is, but maybe I can steer you in the right direction.

Copywriting is really telling your ideal client their problem and showing them that you understand it and have the solution to it.

They might say things like:

"I want to be able to protect myself in case something were to happen."
"I want to feel safe when I am walking home from the bus stop."
"I don't like avoiding social gatherings because I don't feel safe afterwards on the way home."

A classic example is fitness:
If you're targeting young men you'll use words like Get Jacked, Shredded, Ripped

Obviously you wouldn't use those words if you were marketing to men in their 50's or if you were marketing towards women.

So what does your customer really want?

I actually like the headline as-is. It asks a question and uses fear.
Based on the photos, it looks like you're marketing to women. If it were mostly guys you were marketing to, maybe I'd spice it up. But women aren't looking to be tough. They want to feel safe. ( generally speaking in terms of self defense lessons)

So I think defeating fear with confidence from learning self defense, in order to obtain peace of mind, is the main message.

So maybe add to the "learn personal safety" and include what they'll receive by learning the lessons you're offering.

I agree with making sure the first free lesson is more noticeable.


Added: as someone who has trained martial arts, I'd avoided getting to "gimmicky" with the copy, if you want to be taken seriously. An offer you were making online to the masses, maybe a dvd set or something, I might step up the loud claims. But if I saw something claiming to "crush their limbs", etc I would not take the school/instructor seriously. Martial arts is subtle and disciplined.

Flyers become effective when they are location specific. At one time, I used a sign marker at the top and then in colored markers I'd put the name of the street in (the kids passing them out did)...the headline was something like Just for ______ Rd.

In your case, I would use the back of the flyer for more information and too much real estate for the graphic.

So, something like:

Crime in the Falls is UP 23%. Attacks in broad daylight. Can you defend yourself?

John Jones is offering a free self defense class for women, children and seniors. Learn to defend yourself without having to carry dangerous mace, or weapons.

You need to get it read. The reason it will is because there is NEWS about the area...and it would be crime/attacks/burgularies all things found on the local police blotter.

You make the flyer as current as you can. Should be able to have a recent crime in there. The more targeted you make it, the greater the response will be.

What I have found out is, MOST flyers are ineffective. MOST barely pay for themselves because they are thrown together and make the OFFER the big deal.

The offer isn't what is important, what is....

is how the offer relates to the person getting the flyer. Make Sense?

We just had one of these places go OUT OF BUSINESS. Yea, maybe Covid helped, but his marketing sucked, and quite frankly, this flyer isn't going to help your guy much either.

GordonJ

What about this headline?

FACT:
"If You Don't Know How To Defend Yourself In An Attack, Fight,
Or Confrontation ... Then Your Safety And The Safety Of Those You
Love Is At Risk. Now We Are Providing FREE Self-Defence Lessons
Here In _________."

You get proven real-World self-defence techniques that are easy to
learn and could save your Life ― yet in a fun and friendly environment.
All skill levels and ages are welcome. You will also increase your fitness
levels and lose weight. Cool, right?
Now contact me ― or join us any Saturday ― to get your FREE
lesson ...

...

(Just my 2C. I'm not a Professional Copywriter.)
: )

[EDIT] Thought I would add another comment ...

Just because it's a "Flyer" ... Doesn't mean you have to design it
like a Flyer. Usually the way most People do this isn't the most
productive/effective. As much as I love your graphic there's a lot of
valuable Ad Space that could be used in persuading your readers with
more words and content ... [/EDIT]

[DELETED]

Great advice from all those good people above.

Blend it altogether.

As Mr Tyler said on post 5 - fear is the primary emotion.

Lasses as well as chaps (not trained in self defence) fear they won't be able to defend themselves in an "attack."

So prove to them - beyond a shadow of doubt - they will - directly, calmly and effectively.

And...

Do as Gordon said in post 8 - and scare them with the crime stats - showing they must be able to defend themselves.

You should see a very good response.


Steve