New Sales Page Converting at 2% - Any Ideas for Improvement?

I find it strange that you come in here to ask how you can improve your conversions, and when a truly excellent copywriter tells you what he'd do... you argue with him.

Everybody thinks their market is "different," their niche is "different," and their site is "different."

And when you put a real professional on the job, the funny thing is that for the overwhelming majority of markets and niches and sites... the approach that converts best is the long-form sales letter.

No matter how "different" the business insists they are.

Let's look at a very quick and obvious point. Imagine you have a quantity of positively terrible copywriting that actively convinces people never to buy from you. What you'll find is that the more of it you have, the less people buy. Your conversion will suck either way, but when you have a little bit of terrible copy, conversion sucks less than when you have a LOT of it. Replace it with great sales copy, or even good copy, and you get the opposite: more copy, more sales.

I hear you Simon and I dont think you are being hard headed at all just having an input in your business and business model so it can be better understood. I think part of the problem is that you might not really need a copywriter (as in a sales page copywriter). You sound like you just want to get the content for your full site down like a blogger might want to get his blog content down. So maybe you are looking in the wrong spot or asking the question wrong?

You might want someone who specializes in usability and web design as well.

Maybe then or simultaeneously you can approach the sales page as well. Wish you the best.

As soon as I hit your site, there's nothing in the headline or subheads that tells me why it's unique from all the other "weight loss" sites out there. As someone whose seen TONS of weight loss sites over and over again...it didn't grab my attention.

Here's one of your headlines: "WorkoutBOX Programs are professionally designed training plans - proven to be more effective than standard workouts" ....that can be tacked on top of ANY weight loss site and it would make sense--- a sign it needs to be revamped.

You also need before/after photos, case studies, etc.

Rick

Hi Simon,

My first impression of your homepage is that
your site is selling a software/web program,
not a fitness workout program.


Also, the 3 bullets are not compelling to me.

You are explaining the features with the bullets;

And I think you will probably get better responses
with bullets explaining the benefits (what's in it for me).


Lastly, you might want to add photo testimonials
on your home page and accreditation logos if any.

Jag

Simon

Your problem is this:

WorkoutBOX Programs are professionally designed training plans - proven to be more effective than standard workouts

Standard Workouts
Cutting edge muscle building techniques
Scientifically proven to be far more effective than normal workouts
Completely transform your body
Train smarter, not harder
Motivation & support from fitness team
Guaranteed long term results
Available online from WorkoutBOX
Ask questions on the forums
Track your progress with Training Logs

The above is all logical. It's not emotional at all.
People buy on emotion justify with logic. You're putting
people in logical mode first. Apart from that they're all features. You need to convert each
one to a benefit and then a deeper benefit.

WorkoutBOX Programs are professionally designed training plans - proven to be more effective than standard workouts

Whoopee!!

Your headline does not appeal to curiousity. And it doesn't have a benefit.
Curiosity/benefit headlines arte the strongest.

You're not building rapport with your prospect. It's like a salesman
banging on your door you open it and and starightaway he tells
you what a great product he has.
What would you do with such a sales person...? I know what I'd do
Slam the bloody door on him!!

Remember: It's NOT about YOU. It's ALL about your prospect.

You say
Periodization has been scientifically proven to be the most effective training method available for muscle building. It gives significantly better results than repeatedly performing the same workout or just making up your own workout routine as you go along.

OK Prove it to me.

You say
All WorkoutBOX Programs have been created by professional strength coach, Travis Steffen.

Travis's experience speaks for itself :

He's trained UFC champion Jens "Lil' Evil" Pulver
He's a registered Olympic Weightlifting instructor
He's a professional mix martial artist


The above should be up a lot higher on your sales page.

I could go on. However ,let's take a look at your old sales letter....

Getting in shape has never been easier
Since 2007, WorkoutBOX.com has helped over 6,000 members get in shape.

You've asked us for a new way to help you get the body you want...

...The result?

A smarter, more convenient way to improve your body
"If you continue to do what you've always done, you'll continue to get what you've always gotten. "

Anthony Robbins

Your headline....

Getting in Shape Has Never Been Easier

This headline is so weak it's untrue. Sorry to tell you this.
You need to read Breakthrough Advertising.
The chapter on the Stage of Awareness of your audience.

Your market has heard your tired promise before. It's
not going to respond to it anymore. Yet the desire
to get fitter is still there. So you need a new mechanisam.
A new way of getting your reader to read on.
Carlton calls it the "Hook." The titbit of human interest
in your product.

I think the biggest problem is you haven't found the sweetspot
of your market in your headline.

Think like Ted Nicholas does. He calls it the 'Hidden Benefit'.
"if you had God like powers what one thing would you grant
your prospect?

Don't take any of my thoughts personal. I'm just pointing
out areas you could improve.

cheers

Mark
Good luck

The funny thing about hype is that while so many people say they're fed up with it, the "hypey" products are the top sellers on Clickbank week after week (Yes, I know the ecommerce world is much, much bigger than Clickbank, but you're still talking about a sizeable chunk of customers there). The people who write copy for these products understand that people don't buy products, they buy RESULTS. They buy the dream.

Nobody cares about your product (or mine) or how cutting edge or advanced it is. They only care about the new body they're going to have, or the compliments they're going to receive from the opposite sex (which I saw you mentioned), or how much more confident they're going to feel, or how much more energy they'll have - whatever. That's what your sales page should focus on.

Like other people mentioned, you have to appeal to people's emotions. Describe vividly how awesome their life's going to be once they have your product. Don't make claims your product can't back up, but DO exploit basic customer psychology.

Here's a sales page for a product in your niche.

Build Muscle & Gain Weight | Truth About Muscle Gain & Muscle Building

Yes, it's hypey, but notice how as soon as you click on the page, you're hit with benefits that appeal to the prospect's emotions. "Button popping chest", "Sleeve-ripping arms", "rock solid 6-pack abs". If some skinny kid clicks an ad and comes across that page, he's already picturing himself as Lou Ferigno within the first few seconds.

Obviously you can tone down the rhetoric on your own page so that it's congruent to your brand, but you still need to push your audience's psychological buttons.

As for being wanting to make your page different...That's understandable, but I think you should focus on modelling what's successful for other people first, and THEN once you're having success with that, you can use that success as the context for innovation. Why try to re-invent the wheel when you can just learn from others who are already successful?