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DON'T TALK TO ME IN THAT TONE OF VOICE!!!

by max5ty
11 replies
So, another tip...

being able to get right what I'm going to mention is another reason your sales can either be flat or out of this world. Actually, in my opinion, it's the second biggest reason after you choose the emotions for your piece.

You won't hear this talked about much. It's usually something only the trained and experienced writers will consider.

New copywriters, won't even think about it...
because they have no idea how important it is.

Getting this right along with the emotion you chose, is the most important thing you can use in writing your headline, your guarantee, even your P.S.

It's called tone of voice.

There are several tones. A few:

Formal tone.
Informal tone.
Humorous tone.
Serious tone.
Optimistic tone.
Motivating tone.
Respectful tone.
Assertive tone.

If you've ever written for a large company, you'll see they all have a guide that outlines the tone of voice they want to use.

Starbucks, and Uber, all have one. You can google and find most of them.

The reason these guides are important is because these companies know their customers and their customers are their customers because of the branding the company has developed.

If you were to do a piece for Starbucks and used an assertive tone of voice, it probably wouldn't go over well with their customer base.

If you wrote for Woot and used a formal tone of voice, it wouldn't lead to a lot of sales.

Now, we can talk about the tone of voice for big companies...
but it's also important for any size company. It should be part of their branding.

So, look at who your customers would be and decide what tone of voice you should use.

Arthritis medication...older people may not be excited about a humorous approach.

Writing about a vacation? Maybe a motivating tone.

Once you decide on your tone, your headline will reflect it, your opening will reflect it, and on and on.

Sometimes, if your piece isn't doing good, you can look at the tone of voice you used and decide if maybe another one would have been better.

You can learn what words and phrases etc. to use for different tones of voice. There is actually a science behind it and it's worth your future possible fortune to study it.

This is such an important topic that once you understand it you'll be able to look at most pieces and see what they're doing wrong. I've seen pieces that try to incorporate several tones of voice...not on purpose, they just didn't know what they were doing.

It's a deep subject, some may not understand it and many will dismiss it. But the ones that dismiss it won't get far in their copywriting career, and they'll wonder why.

Once you understand this, you'll have another piece of the puzzle as to why some writers are great and others are still trying to drum up work.

Hope this helps. Thanks for reading it
#talk #tone #voice
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  • Profile picture of the author savidge4
    Tone is critical... "Voice" is critical... the words used is critical.

    A couple years back I had a large shipment of drones. knockoffs to good ones... decent knockoffs but a knockoff none the less. Running ad after ad was not getting the success needed to move the amount of inventory I had. Finally hit the right combination of Tone, voice and words meeting the end users expectations using broken Chinese English.

    I say along with tone, voice and words are critical. how you communicate with a Millennial is vastly different than how you communicate with a Boomer.
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    • Profile picture of the author art72
      Originally Posted by savidge4 View Post

      Tone is critical... "Voice" is critical... the words used is critical.

      A couple years back I had a large shipment of drones. knockoffs to good ones... decent knockoffs but a knockoff none the less. Running ad after ad was not getting the success needed to move the amount of inventory I had. Finally hit the right combination of Tone, voice and words meeting the end users expectations using broken Chinese English.

      I say along with tone, voice and words are critical. how you communicate with a Millennial is vastly different than how you communicate with a Boomer.
      You are not kidding... I need to learn how to write/speak to the younger audience, I think to do alright with the Boomer's and Gen X'ers - the Millennial audience is definitely an area I have yet to find the proper "tone or voice" - just in a written or spoken conversation, not even trying to sell them on anything - feels like they are responding offendedly, without my intention to provoke such a response - it's definitely a delicate tone and voice I must lack!
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  • Profile picture of the author max5ty
    @Savidge4 - Yes, tone of voice is great for positioning a product. Different tones of voice use different words to communicate the tone.

    I agree that who you're communicating with is important.

    Good points

    @art72 - Millenials like messaging that is to the point and clever.

    Take Skittles as an example: "Hurry up and eat these, there's no time to explain."

    I wasn't going to post this tip because, for 99% of the people out there, this would cause their minds to haze over after reading it.

    It's like the difference between sitting in a 3rd grade English class and sitting in a college English class.

    It really all goes back to not only what level you're operating at, but what level you're aiming for.

    Imagine you took two groups of copywriters. One group drove Fords and the other group drove Lamborghinis and we asked them to write a piece to sell a Lamborghini Veneno.

    The first group that drove Fords is in their room talking about finding out everything they can about the car. Writing a killer headline and opening. They're the new copywriters.

    The second group is in their room talking about the people that actually own these expensive cars and can afford to buy them. They're experienced copywriters.

    At the end of the day, the first group may come out with what most would consider a pretty good piece. Their inexperienced copywriting buddies would high-five them and think it was one of the best things they'd ever seen. But, it would be geared to those that only dream about owning the car and never would actually be able to buy one. So, the piece may be great, but the chances of it making any money would be zero.

    Those who dream about a Lamborghini Veneno, and those who own, or could actually own one don't think the same.

    The second group would come out with a piece that focused on the actual people that would and could own this car. Their piece would have the best potential to make money.

    Each group would not only have a different tone of voice but probably use different emotions.

    This is the most basic of basic examples, but I hope it showed the point I was making.

    Different levels of copywriters think differently.

    There are those writing $1500 pieces and there are those writing for companies that make billions of dollars a year. It's like going from the wading pool into the deep end and you realize you're in a whole different world and to compete in that world, you have to be on a whole different level in your thinking. The way you think and the terms you think of them in influence your writing.

    But, what I'm trying to say is, that thinking on the advanced level, will do wonders for your writing if you use the advanced techniques even if you're not at that level yet.

    Inexperienced copywriters won't be able to understand why some of these techniques are important.

    Advance copywriters understand how to nail the tone of voice by using the right words in the best possible way to communicate the hardest hitting message possible.

    Anyways, I'm getting long-winded and for most, the whole tone of voice thing may not make a lot of sense...but as you progress in your career, it's one of the things that knowing how to use it will determine if you keep advancing or stall out.

    Enjoy your day
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    • Profile picture of the author GordonJ
      Great stuff max5ty, keep it coming.

      Legend copywriter Gary Halbert learned all about tone of voice. He ran a radio ad in Akron, OH, known as the hey FAT BOY ad. It was big buzz for the week, talked about on many local radio shows and stations.

      It was funnier than a Gilbert Gottfried bit (RIP GG)...lol and rolflao funny.

      Turns out FAT people know they are fat, know they are made fun of, know they are scorned...but didn't want to hear it, or be called a FATTY.

      Gary got 10X the press and coverage he paid for which resulted in ZERO sales and some very unkind messages on the answering service.

      Now no one can sling sarcasm and his own brand of humor like Gary (listen up Buckwheat), but he controlled and contained what might have been a natural impulse to have a condenscending tone.

      It IS advanced stuff, and experience comes from FAILURE, as Gary's great FAT AD taught him something about human nature and his target audience.

      When I was selling custom made golf clubs, my tone changed the lower the handicap was, and whether they played public courses or at country clubs...the tone changed and the price soared...without resistance.

      Thanks again, you are a treasure here.

      GordonJ



      Originally Posted by max5ty View Post

      @Savidge4 - Yes, tone of voice is great for positioning a product. Different tones of voice use different words to communicate the tone.

      I agree that who you're communicating with is important.

      Good points

      @art72 - Millenials like messaging that is to the point and clever.

      Take Skittles as an example: "Hurry up and eat these, there's no time to explain."

      I wasn't going to post this tip because, for 99% of the people out there, this would cause their minds to haze over after reading it.

      It's like the difference between sitting in a 3rd grade English class and sitting in a college English class.

      It really all goes back to not only what level you're operating at, but what level you're aiming for.

      Imagine you took two groups of copywriters. One group drove Fords and the other group drove Lamborghinis and we asked them to write a piece to sell a Lamborghini Veneno.

      The first group that drove Fords is in their room talking about finding out everything they can about the car. Writing a killer headline and opening. They're the new copywriters.

      The second group is in their room talking about the people that actually own these expensive cars and can afford to buy them. They're experienced copywriters.

      At the end of the day, the first group may come out with what most would consider a pretty good piece. Their inexperienced copywriting buddies would high-five them and think it was one of the best things they'd ever seen. But, it would be geared to those that only dream about owning the car and never would actually be able to buy one. So, the piece may be great, but the chances of it making any money would be zero.

      Those who dream about a Lamborghini Veneno, and those who own, or could actually own one don't think the same.

      The second group would come out with a piece that focused on the actual people that would and could own this car. Their piece would have the best potential to make money.

      Each group would not only have a different tone of voice but probably use different emotions.

      This is the most basic of basic examples, but I hope it showed the point I was making.

      Different levels of copywriters think differently.

      There are those writing $1500 pieces and there are those writing for companies that make billions of dollars a year. It's like going from the wading pool into the deep end and you realize you're in a whole different world and to compete in that world, you have to be on a whole different level in your thinking. The way you think and the terms you think of them in influence your writing.

      But, what I'm trying to say is, that thinking on the advanced level, will do wonders for your writing if you use the advanced techniques even if you're not at that level yet.

      Inexperienced copywriters won't be able to understand why some of these techniques are important.

      Advance copywriters understand how to nail the tone of voice by using the right words in the best possible way to communicate the hardest hitting message possible.

      Anyways, I'm getting long-winded and for most, the whole tone of voice thing may not make a lot of sense...but as you progress in your career, it's one of the things that knowing how to use it will determine if you keep advancing or stall out.

      Enjoy your day
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      • Profile picture of the author DABK
        I am a writer, among other things, words obey me. I am not a copywriter though I have written copy and even got paid to do so. Maybe that's why I am surprised that choosing the right tone is super advanced stuff.

        I thought the hard part is coming up with who you are targeting. Once I know who, to the point that I can imagine them talking across the table to me at my favorite cafe, tone, language level, emotion, they all flow willingly at the right level.

        Thanks, Max, for the info.
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  • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
    Originally Posted by max5ty View Post


    It's called tone of voice.

    There are several tones. A few:

    Formal tone.
    Informal tone.
    Humorous tone.
    Serious tone.
    Optimistic tone.
    Motivating tone.
    Respectful tone.
    Assertive tone.
    That was an outstanding post. Truly advanced.


    This is advanced enough that I have trouble doing it in writing. But in selling?

    There is not only the tone of the language, There is the tone of voice, the timing, the volume, and body language.

    Complex enough that I don't think I've ever taught it to one of my reps.
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  • Profile picture of the author max5ty
    @GordonJ - love that story.

    I tried to google that ad but couldn't find it. Would be fun to listen to.

    Great comment.

    @ Claude Whitacre - I always read that in person-to-person sales you should mimic their talk and behaviors. I.E., if they talk slow, you talk slow. If they cross their arms you cross your arms. That sets you up to follow their tone.

    Quite sure you know more about it.

    @ DABK - Good comment.

    I say the tone is advanced because most inexperienced copywriters will never mention it. You won't hear them say they're trying to figure out the right tone of voice.

    Picking your target audience is another subject. I could go on for pages about this, but I'll try and keep it brief.

    Back to Gordon's post, his target audience was golf players. He also said he changed his tone with each group of those players. Smart. He knew what he was doing from experience.

    If I'm selling a new type of golf club that drives your ball further than any other and Bob my friend is sitting at a bar with me...and I explain to him what I'm doing...that is one aspect.

    Is Bob the serious type?

    Should I say, "Hey Bob, I'm selling this new golf club that will get 100 more yards per swing"

    Is he laid back and joking type?

    So many variables.

    Plus, if I'm selling a golf club and just talk to Bob...I've left out Mary that's female...Jack that plays for fun...Larry that's advanced...Betty that just started...

    I always say there are different levels of copywriters. That's not to put anyone down because if you're making a couple thousand bucks to write something I applaud you. Keep going.

    But, if you took that $2000 per piece copywriter and gave him a Starbucks promotion...it would be a different story.

    Newer copywriters that write for an ebook or a product on a website are a different class than those that write for multi-billion dollar companies, and what I'm saying is they have bigger paying jobs because they think differently which in turn brings in more sales.

    There's nothing wrong with writing for an ebook or single website product. What I'm trying to get across is that even when doing that, look at the techniques of the advanced copywriter and use them.

    If you have a product and you're making 6 figures per year, there's no reason you can't take it to 7 figures per year. The barrier comes from understanding certain principles and how to use them.

    So much to say on this subject, but like always I'm getting long-winded.

    Thanks for all the comments
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    • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
      Originally Posted by max5ty View Post


      @ Claude Whitacre - I always read that in person-to-person sales you should mimic their talk and behaviors. I.E., if they talk slow, you talk slow. If they cross their arms you cross your arms. That sets you up to follow their tone.

      Quite sure you know more about it.
      Of course I do.
      In NLP it's called "Mirroring".

      Personally, I've seen limited value in mirroring their tone, body language, speaking speed.

      Because you are right in front of them (even on the phone) you can react to each individual prospect.

      What I have seen great value in is relating to their mode of thinking. Some people are jokey, some are meticulous, some are analytical, some wear their heart on their sleeve.

      I'll mold how I speak to more closely match their thinking mode.

      But here's the valuable part.

      Nearly everyone, when talking to a salesperson (on more important offers) do one of two things....they complain about a previous purchase (or previous salesperson) or they brag about a previous purchase.

      Either one is useful. It shows emotional engagement.

      If they are a complainer, I listen...what they want is someone to hear their tale of woe...a sympathetic audience.. I'll slowly agree with them, eventually saying that their experience is worse than it really was..."I don't now if i would have been able to show the self control you did".

      I want to get "Under" their angst. Under their dis-satisfaction. They will almost always eventually say "Well, i guess it wasn't that bad". But them venting lets out the steam...the pressure......it's a release for them

      But I always brag about their previous purchases, even if they complain.....I brag about the decision they made, even if their experience needs to be "gotten under".

      The braggers?

      I just go along with them. Telling them what a smart person they were for taking action.


      Remember everyone is either the victim or the hero of their story.

      And I vary my tone of voice, positioning. Not to mirror them, but to show interest...compassion. Keep them engaged.

      All of this happens before mentioning my offer at all. Not until they are ready to accept what I'm saying.
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      • Profile picture of the author max5ty
        Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

        Of course I do.
        In NLP it's called "Mirroring".

        Personally, I've seen limited value in mirroring their tone, body language, speaking speed.

        Because you are right in front of them (even on the phone) you can react to each individual prospect.

        What I have seen great value in is relating to their mode of thinking. Some people are jokey, some are meticulous, some are analytical, some wear their heart on their sleeve.

        I'll mold how I speak to more closely match their thinking mode.

        But here's the valuable part.

        Nearly everyone, when talking to a salesperson (on more important offers) do one of two things....they complain about a previous purchase (or previous salesperson) or they brag about a previous purchase.

        Either one is useful. It shows emotional engagement.

        If they are a complainer, I listen...what they want is someone to hear their tale of woe...a sympathetic audience.. I'll slowly agree with them, eventually saying that their experience is worse than it really was..."I don't now if i would have been able to show the self control you did".

        I want to get "Under" their angst. Under their dis-satisfaction. They will almost always eventually say "Well, i guess it wasn't that bad". But them venting lets out the steam...the pressure......it's a release for them

        But I always brag about their previous purchases, even if they complain.....I brag about the decision they made, even if their experience needs to be "gotten under".

        The braggers?

        I just go along with them. Telling them what a smart person they were for taking action.


        Remember everyone is either the victim or the hero of their story.

        And I vary my tone of voice, positioning. Not to mirror them, but to show interest...compassion. Keep them engaged.

        All of this happens before mentioning my offer at all. Not until they are ready to accept what I'm saying.
        That post is pure gold, like Gordon's post.

        I love them.

        A lot of good insight
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    • Profile picture of the author GordonJ
      We can't have too much of a good thing, and few have your corporate experience and are able to speak to the differences. More porridge please (in my best Tiny Tim voice).

      Back to your point between someone who could buy a lambo or yacht, or how about a Rolex, when they have a Timex budget...it is serving a dream to the wrong audience, that is, if you want buyers. If you have a Timex knock off of a Rolex, maybe the Silver Submarine special with a compass or such...

      Hopefully this might help some who are confused, especially non copy writers or junior and beginners.

      In Golf you have Country Club Players and Public Link Players. At the club you have serious competitors, business golfers, and casual often with wife or another couple.

      Public linkers are serious about the game, playing 3+ times a week, although they may not be any good at the game, the true amateur.

      Other public players are league people, a company or fraternal org has a weekly league and this is a social club, although these get competitive due to the handicap system which allows everyone to compete equally.

      At the heart of all this, is max5ty's ideas of knowing what your audience is either used to or has been brand trained to hear, the voice and tone of the corp.

      We call these avatars online, or customer profiles and the more you know the better chance you have to influence them.

      The tone (I think) as max5ty is referring to is one which resonates with their A) Brand Condition as with his Starbucks example, B) Current state of mind at the intersection of the ad C) Ability to buy vs the dreamer.

      Tiger Woods buys 40 million dollar yachts.
      Scottie Scheffler, the current Masters champ, is a long way from getting his yacht.
      Harry the Hacker dreams of a ticket to the Masters, just to walk the course.

      I hope not to be too long winded here, so using golf clubs as the thing for sale, we can then identify our avatars, and then, and this probably is more applicable to the ebooker or newer copywriter...but then, we can enter the TONE of their thinking.

      A low handicap golfer who wants to win the club championship will have a different tone than a women who wants to learn the game for business.

      In today's data driven world, the biggest mistake the data sellers make is: the assumption the data tells the right story, it is nuanced only by peripheral data.

      So, a 1500 dollar set of custom made clubs with titanium shafts will ring the bell (resonate) and the tone will be right for the guy at the club wanting to be the club champ.

      A 500 dollar set of clubs might go to public link serious guy

      a 250 set for the beginner. But by knowing your customer in more detail, you can then create a more nuanced tone which resonates with that person.

      Now, point of order, if I may. I had the benefit of having 1200+ members on my roster, with 65% of them being country clubbers. That was by design.

      So, at my golf shop, if I started selling fishing gear or woodworking equipment, it would have been a much harder life. COR of Driver means nothing to a guy trying to catch a bass.

      Hope this makes sense or furthers the discussion, very interesting.

      Gordon

      PS Maybe Gary's boys have a cassette of the original broadcast, I believe he mentions it in one of his newsletters???





      Originally Posted by max5ty View Post

      @GordonJ - love that story.

      I tried to google that ad but couldn't find it. Would be fun to listen to.

      Great comment.

      @ Claude Whitacre - I always read that in person-to-person sales you should mimic their talk and behaviors. I.E., if they talk slow, you talk slow. If they cross their arms you cross your arms. That sets you up to follow their tone.

      Quite sure you know more about it.

      @ DABK - Good comment.

      I say the tone is advanced because most inexperienced copywriters will never mention it. You won't hear them say they're trying to figure out the right tone of voice.

      Picking your target audience is another subject. I could go on for pages about this, but I'll try and keep it brief.

      Back to Gordon's post, his target audience was golf players. He also said he changed his tone with each group of those players. Smart. He knew what he was doing from experience.

      If I'm selling a new type of golf club that drives your ball further than any other and Bob my friend is sitting at a bar with me...and I explain to him what I'm doing...that is one aspect.

      Is Bob the serious type?

      Should I say, "Hey Bob, I'm selling this new golf club that will get 100 more yards per swing"

      Is he laid back and joking type?

      So many variables.

      Plus, if I'm selling a golf club and just talk to Bob...I've left out Mary that's female...Jack that plays for fun...Larry that's advanced...Betty that just started...

      I always say there are different levels of copywriters. That's not to put anyone down because if you're making a couple thousand bucks to write something I applaud you. Keep going.

      But, if you took that $2000 per piece copywriter and gave him a Starbucks promotion...it would be a different story.

      Newer copywriters that write for an ebook or a product on a website are a different class than those that write for multi-billion dollar companies, and what I'm saying is they have bigger paying jobs because they think differently which in turn brings in more sales.

      There's nothing wrong with writing for an ebook or single website product. What I'm trying to get across is that even when doing that, look at the techniques of the advanced copywriter and use them.

      If you have a product and you're making 6 figures per year, there's no reason you can't take it to 7 figures per year. The barrier comes from understanding certain principles and how to use them.

      So much to say on this subject, but like always I'm getting long-winded.

      Thanks for all the comments
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  • Profile picture of the author Princess Balestra
    "Friends, Romans, Countrymen -- lend me your CAR."

    Tellya, if'n Shakespeare had written that, he could mebbe have carved a name for hisself as the leadin' auto dealahship of the Lizzerbethan era.

    Instead, he figured a line with intrinsic resonance.

    An' I guess that is why copy-by-formula ain't always copy-fulla-froot.

    AIDA has no voice, no personality.

    Without resonance, most any SYOOREFIRE strategies are merely shrieks.

    Why do I say this?

    Bcs me an' my granma gaht diffrent taste in undahwear.

    Headlines to which she would ATTEND ... I would figure equals a biannual subscription to Incarceration Tactics For The Straitjacket-unaverse.

    Reversely ditto her view of my wardrobe as an invitation to be murdered by The Inconveniently Priapic.

    That is just panties.

    What a cacophany their multiple appeals make.

    tbh it really mattahs so much whethah you pullin' on Julie Skimpy, dressin' smart for work or play in Jemima Regulahgusset, or playin' safe with Helga Tripleshield van Frickin' DOOM.

    What is evrythin' in your life sayin' to you?


    Gaze around your vista at your assembled purchases now.


    "As knives go, I am kinda temperamental. But when I'm in the mood for serious slicing, nothing cuts steak cleaner."

    "You won't always want the smartest wash for your dishes, but if you do, simply ignore the intuitive console and bone up on the 1200 page manual that came with your guarantee."

    "If this product fails to give you the service you expected, please be sure to check you purchased a 3-pack of Julie Skimpy panties instead of a consignment of raw materials for making a bazooka."

    Voice is the soulmate of ear.

    Plus also vice versa.

    How kinkily intimate is that?
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    Lightin' fuses is for blowin' stuff togethah.

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