Squeeze Page ===> Feedback Needed!

by 7 replies
8
Can you please review my squeeze page and share with me any new ideas, comments or suggestions you might have.

Click Here ===>Private Label Rights!

Thank you
-Ludovic
#copywriting #&gt #> #feedback #needed #page #squeeze
  • Hi Ludovic
    had a look at your squeeze page. I will list the pros and cons as I see them. Please note I am not a seasoned pro and I will comment from a users point of view.

    Pros
    1) Header graphics are excellent - althogh I am not sure what Exclusivley limited means?
    2) The layouit is clear
    3) The headline is good but it does not speak to me i.e "Discover How thousands of people...." Why not "Discover how YOU can discover...."
    4) The report graphic is good

    Cons
    1) The actual sign up button should be directly below the optin form. At present it is off to the left
    2) also the form button is below the fold and I have scroll down to see it.
    3) I dont like the pop up script at the bottom. I know this opt in script and most people use it on actual pages or blogs. All it did was distract me and annoyed me as it also has a timer counting down which is another distraction
    4) You copy says that this exclusive report has a $37. Am I supposed to take your word for it? if you are going to put a percieved value on this report why not have an actual link to a page where you show it for sale for $37 this will greatly increase the percieved value of what you are offering.
    5) I am not sure that you should be telling visitors that they will be sent to an OTO - too much info and might put people off as you are telling them "Hey download this unknown value product and straight away Iam going to try to sell you something. In my mind you need to build some trust at first. Yes by all means have an OTO but dont tell people in advance that you are going to send them to one.
    6) You then go onto try to get people to sign up for a membership site. I would use this on the OTO page. Give them the report then offer them the free membership. Also this will cause confusion - which list do you want them to sign up to?
    7) Dont like the anti spam logo - why have it just amkes me nervous.
    8) Your opt in form button again stipulates the value of the free download - wheres the proff. Could be a load of junk for all I know.
    9)Why have all the links at the bottom and the twitter thing. This is a squeeze page and its sole purpose is to get people on your list. All these extra links are again distractions.

    The look and feel is good but there is too much information for a squeeze page with confusing messages. I think these particular points would harm your conversions.

    Just my two pennies worth. As I said I am not an expert but have seen 1000s of squeeze pages and the above are just some of my thoughts.
    Hope this helps
    Mark
  • I don't have time for a full on critique...

    But your "honesty online" graphics link to a re-tweet... People will click on those if you put them on your site... I did.

    -Scott
    • [1] reply
    • The first thing I noticed was that there is something grammatically wrong with your headline. Here is your headline:



      The first part, all the way up until "and Still Keep 100% Profit" is spoken in a 'statement' type structure. Meaning you are stating something. But then this part "and Still Keep 100% Profit!" sounds like you have just explained to them how. you need to keep the structure the same.

      Secondly, 100% of the profit means nothing. Profit is what you get AFTER all your expenses are paid. So everyone essentially gets 100% of their profit. If I have affiliates promoting my product, I will still receive 100% of the profits, because I know that some of it will go to my affiliates. And he will receive 100% of his profits as well Hope that makes sense!

      But it still kinda makes sense, well people will know what you mean, so you can probably keep it in.

      Here is how I would structure the headline so it retains the same 'flow' so to speak:




      Now if that is good for your copywriting, well I have no idea! Maybe a seasoned copywriter will tell you to keep the first one, I dont know. Or maybe you are using some sort of psychological thing that I dont know about! If so then ignore me!

      Also I agree with the others. Remove all those links and safety icons, unless you have tested them and found they are beneficial.

      Also have you tried just giving the membership away? For me I am much more interested in a membership then an ebook. A membership has a much higher perceived value then an ebook. At least move it to the top as the first giveaway.

      My 2 cents.
  • You need to tighten up your proofreading. Your first offer claims a $27 value. The second one says $27, but has $37 in the drop-down.
  • Instead of saying $27, It's better you write $47 then strikethorugh it, then $27.
    • [1] reply
    • I"m not a copywriter... but I would say your headline lacks impact and the word usage is clumsy.

      Try to use something like these: (not to be taken literally)

      Read This... Or Your Hopes of Easy Online Profits Will Be Squashed Like A Stomped On Toad Frog.

      or

      Steal your way to instant online income using Private Label Rights and profit from other peoples hard work.
      • [1] reply
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