Funny Snow Removal Flyer... I need help coming up with headline/body copy

64 replies
I'm starting a snow removal business soon and I'd like to print 1000 flyers and deliver it to homeowner's doors 5 hours before the snow storm hits.

I'd like to use humor to grab their attention because I heard a few top marketers say that if you can make people laugh in your marketing you could increase conversions and stand out.

I would really appreciate it if I could get your feedback or if you could provide any copy that could make the flyer convert more customers.

Here's what I got so far...


"Do You Hate Shoveling Snow And Being Out in the Cold?"





(A picture of a dog shoveling snow will be below the headline.)

"We provide affordable snow removal services to help you escape from your white prison without needing to break your back (or your bank) and without asking a helicopter to fly you out!

We are in the neighborhood right now shoveling snow, so if you need us, we're just around the corner making snow angels and digging out snow from your neighbor's property.

But hurry, we're only a small team and spots are very limited of how many homes we can help. It's first come first served.

Please text your address to 444-444-4444 and we'll come over as soon as possible. Or give us a call anytime."


What do you think of the flyer, does it need work?

Thanks for your time.
#coming #copy #copywriting #flyer #funny #headline or body #removal #snow
  • Profile picture of the author Kay King
    In my view - you are trying too hard to be funny. In a heavy snowstorm, homeowners want to know 'how soon and how much'.



    Storms are forecast days in advance - why wait till 5 hrs before snow to pass out flyers? Have you considered signing people up for a 'season' (or for the month) - where the person would pay a deposit to reserve his 'spot' -knowing you would show up when it snows?


    Perhaps a 'neighbor discount' so if several people on one block sign up for snow removal, they all get 10% off the price?


    What does your service provide? A cleared walk, clearing around a car, salt added to steps? Or do you push the heavy snow out of the way and call it done? Be clear about what the buyer can expect.


    Give at least a range of pricing or offer quotes by phone. Keep your 'service area' map in mind to avoid taking jobs that require too much travel time.



    The dog image is cute - but then, I love dogs, so.....



    Hopefully some of the 'real copywriters' here will also provide some advice. It's a good small business idea but don't try so hard to 'entertain'. You are providing real service that people need and want.
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    • Profile picture of the author Ernesto1
      Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

      In my view - you are trying too hard to be funny. In a heavy snowstorm, homeowners want to know 'how soon and how much'.



      Storms are forecast days in advance - why wait till 5 hrs before snow to pass out flyers? Have you considered signing people up for a 'season' (or for the month) - where the person would pay a deposit to reserve his 'spot' -knowing you would show up when it snows?


      Perhaps a 'neighbor discount' so if several people on one block sign up for snow removal, they all get 10% off the price?


      What does your service provide? A cleared walk, clearing around a car, salt added to steps? Or do you push the heavy snow out of the way and call it done? Be clear about what the buyer can expect.


      Give at least a range of pricing or offer quotes by phone. Keep your 'service area' map in mind to avoid taking jobs that require too much travel time.



      The dog image is cute - but then, I love dogs, so.....



      Hopefully some of the 'real copywriters' here will also provide some advice. It's a good small business idea but don't try so hard to 'entertain'. You are providing real service that people need and want.

      Thanks for your insight. You're probably right about trying too hard to be funny. I'll probably just use a funny dog picture like the one above to grab attention but keep it a normal and casual conversation on the body of the copy.



      "Be clear about what the buyer can expect." Woww... this hit me like a ton of bricks! You're absolutely right.



      I should be very specific such as "remove snow from driveways, sidewalks, steps, top of vehicles, add salt everywhere so your family/kids don't fall and get hurt" etc.



      The reason I'd like to distribute the flyers 5 hours before the snow falls (or immediately after) is so that it's fresh in their minds. If I deliver the flyers a few days before, the flyer could get lost or thrown in the trash. But if they see it while the snow is falling or after the snow falls, they're more likely to feel overwhelmed with all that work outside and decide to pay for the service.


      Putting the price on the flyer I think is best, that way I only get texts and calls from people that can afford it.



      Thanks very much for your assessment!
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  • Profile picture of the author Princess Balestra
    Yanno, much as I love a cutesy pooch, I don't wanna die to death bcs my extremities gaht hypothermoyeurre spread to my brain an' 'ssenschwl organs.

    * That is the ONLY reason I wear a thermal bra in Wintah. *

    My view?

    You cain't **** around with the potential for imminent demise.

    That is why funeral ads nevah play nuthin' for laughs.

    In my perfect world of purely Princess sensibilities, I'd lead with the pooch image allied to a headline sumthin' like this ...

    IF THIS IS YOUR IDEA OF SNOW REMOVAL, PRAY FOR CLEAR SKIES
    Getting Emergency Help When You Need It Is Serious Business

    Then kinda differentiate yr service from anythin' the local snow patrol gaht gowin', plus also point up how you THE ONLY ONES gonna PREVENT Granma's dentures freezin' fast in her FACE before she DIES.

    ("You cain't reflexly chomp at nootrishnl soops in desperation too easy f'n yr limbs're already devoid of bloodstream an' nerve supply smarts.")

    Meantimes, we should mebbe run an ADULT POOCH vs PUPPY POOCH version of Tundra Squid Game.

    Whatevah the trials, body mass physics says the pups die foist in the cold.

    Trust Moi, I skinny AF.
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    • Profile picture of the author Ernesto1
      Originally Posted by Princess Balestra View Post

      Yanno, much as I love a cutesy pooch, I don't wanna die to death bcs my extremities gaht hypothermoyeurre spread to my brain an' 'ssenschwl organs.

      * That is the ONLY reason I wear a thermal bra in Wintah. *

      My view?

      You cain't **** around with the potential for imminent demise.

      That is why funeral ads nevah play nuthin' for laughs.

      In my perfect world of purely Princess sensibilities, I'd lead with the pooch image allied to a headline sumthin' like this ...

      IF THIS IS YOUR IDEA OF SNOW REMOVAL, PRAY FOR CLEAR SKIES
      Getting Emergency Help When You Need It Is Serious Business

      Then kinda differentiate yr service from anythin' the local snow patrol gaht gowin', plus also point up how you THE ONLY ONES gonna PREVENT Granma's dentures freezin' fast in her FACE before she DIES.

      ("You cain't reflexly chomp at nootrishnl soops in desperation too easy f'n yr limbs're already devoid of bloodstream an' nerve supply smarts.")

      Meantimes, we should mebbe run an ADULT POOCH vs PUPPY POOCH version of Tundra Squid Game.

      Whatevah the trials, body mass physics says the pups die foist in the cold.

      Trust Moi, I skinny AF.

      Awesome headline, thanks for your great ideas! You're right, I gotta be careful trying to be funny in a serious painful situation like getting blasted with snow.
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      • Profile picture of the author Princess Balestra
        Originally Posted by Ernesto1 View Post

        Awesome headline, thanks for your great ideas! You're right, I gotta be careful trying to be funny in a serious painful situation like getting blasted with snow.
        Also considah how most sales stuffs depend on the BEFORE (ie your prospect's insolubyool PLIGHT) an' the AFTAH (ie you show, an' we are all so much closer to inhabitin' a Caaahsmaahs of universl gazmin').

        The Advantage you gaht lies in your BEFORE.

        Even Gratz-UR Thunberg cain't stop it snowin', no mattah how inflooenshly woke she may be.

        So what's the Transform-2-Positive twist here in this a priori hellhole of SNOWBOUND HASSLE?

        Ansa is yr contact details.

        So make that a more valybyool offah than anythin' else gowin'.

        Raise the stakes. Demonstrate killah expertise. Dool wield consummate professionalism an' sweetsy kinda empathy.

        As yr natchrl Princess, gotta figure that is the essence of my CV, but it could work equally well if'n I met with misfortoon an' spent the resta my days as a slummo hookah.

        Jus' gotta set yr sights, I guess.
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        • Profile picture of the author Ernesto1
          Originally Posted by Princess Balestra View Post

          Also considah how most sales stuffs depend on the BEFORE (ie your prospect's insolubyool PLIGHT) an' the AFTAH (ie you show, an' we are all so much closer to inhabitin' a Caaahsmaahs of universl gazmin').

          The Advantage you gaht lies in your BEFORE.

          Even Gratz-UR Thunberg cain't stop it snowin', no mattah how inflooenshly woke she may be.

          So what's the Transform-2-Positive twist here in this a priori hellhole of SNOWBOUND HASSLE?

          Ansa is yr contact details.

          So make that a more valybyool offah than anythin' else gowin'.

          Raise the stakes. Demonstrate killah expertise. Dool wield consummate professionalism an' sweetsy kinda empathy.

          As yr natchrl Princess, gotta figure that is the essence of my CV, but it could work equally well if'n I met with misfortoon an' spent the resta my days as a slummo hookah.

          Jus' gotta set yr sights, I guess.

          I couldn't understand some of your words because English is not my first language, but I got most of what you were saying. Adding pictures of 'Before' and 'After' (a home covered in snow then a picture of home with no snow) could work really great. Also using empathy in the copy could make the flyer better. Thank you!
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  • Profile picture of the author Moodesburn1977
    i use ai chat gpt for good content ideas
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    Lets build a online business by giving value and learning how to build a email list
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    • Profile picture of the author Ernesto1
      Originally Posted by Moodesburn1977 View Post

      i use ai chat gpt for good content ideas

      I heard it helps people brainstorm for ideas. But unfortunately, Ai creeps me out. lol


      I heard that Ai are actual real dead people doing the intelligence. Maybe am being too paranoid or something.
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  • Perfecto...

    A Phenomenal Flyer campaign where you -

    Don't have to overthink - aka fusing the brain cells to ignite an idea.

    You can call off the emergency neurologists. Onwards with the emergency snow clearing.

    Because you'll have the immediate need that people immediately want.

    But do highlight all the benefits on your Flyer (as Kay said in # 2).

    And yes, it's always good to offer a discount and something free - could be the salt.

    By all means use a dog on the pic - but shouldn't it be a husky (or a pack of them).


    Steve
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    • Profile picture of the author Ernesto1
      Originally Posted by Steve The Copywriter View Post

      Perfecto...

      A Phenomenal Flyer campaign where you -

      Don't have to overthink - aka fusing the brain cells to ignite an idea.

      You can call off the emergency neurologists. Onwards with the emergency snow clearing.

      Because you'll have the immediate need that people immediately want.

      But do highlight all the benefits on your Flyer (as Kay said in # 2).

      And yes, it's always good to offer a discount and something free - could be the salt.

      By all means use a dog on the pic - but shouldn't it be a husky (or a pack of them).


      Steve



      Thanks Steve. Giving a discount or giving something away for free sounds like a great idea. This could absolutely 100% increase conversions.
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  • Profile picture of the author Kay King
    The reason I'd like to distribute the flyers 5 hours before the snow falls (or immediately after) is so that it's fresh in their minds. If I deliver the flyers a few days before, the flyer could get lost or thrown in the trash.

    That makes sense - but it doesn't have to be 'either/or'. A couple ads or flyers at the beginning of 'snow season' - and one just before the snow falls in your 'target' area.


    If you are using the dog image - perhaps name your business 'snow dogs' or something memorable...linked to a phone number if possible. Or maybe save that idea for next year if this business becomes an annual one.
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    • Profile picture of the author Ernesto1
      Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

      That makes sense - but it doesn't have to be 'either/or'. A couple ads or flyers at the beginning of 'snow season' - and one just before the snow falls in your 'target' area.


      If you are using the dog image - perhaps name your business 'snow dogs' or something memorable...linked to a phone number if possible. Or maybe save that idea for next year if this business becomes an annual one.

      It's funny that you say the name 'Snow Dogs' because I thought about writing the flyer as if a dog wrote it. lol


      For example "Hi my name is Woofy the snow dog, me and my human friends are in the neighborhood shoveling snow. Bla bla bla..." I could probably print 500 flyers and do a test.
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      • Originally Posted by Ernesto1 View Post

        It's funny that you say the name 'Snow Dogs' because I thought about writing the flyer as if a dog wrote it. lol


        For example "Hi my name is Woofy the snow dog, me and my human friends are in the neighborhood shoveling snow. Bla bla bla..." I could probably print 500 flyers and do a test.

        It's a lot of fun writing from an animal.

        And can resonate very well with the audience - they tend to have more affinity for the message and don't feel they're being quite as "sold to" with yet another pitch.

        I have to say - don't call the dog "Woofy" - why not call him or her "Plough"

        Or "Snowy"


        Steve
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        • Profile picture of the author Frank Donovan
          Originally Posted by Steve The Copywriter View Post

          sold to" with yet another pitch.

          I have to say - don't call the dog "Woofy" - why not call him or her "Plough"

          Or "Snowy"
          Or Plow-Wow?
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        • Profile picture of the author Ernesto1
          Originally Posted by Steve The Copywriter View Post

          It's a lot of fun writing from an animal.

          And can resonate very well with the audience - they tend to have more affinity for the message and don't feel they're being quite as "sold to" with yet another pitch.

          I have to say - don't call the dog "Woofy" - why not call him or her "Plough"

          Or "Snowy"


          Steve

          I agree, people would probably feel more receptive to the message coming from a dog than a fellow human. I thought about Snowball instead of Woofy but I felt it could make it too obvious that he's a made up character/dog, but if I gave him a normal unrelated name people at least would keep the hope alive that he's actually real. I know it sounds crazy because obviously he's not, but I get the feeling that people are gonna ask me "hey where's Woofy?,"Is the dog real?" "Is he a mascot or something?" lol :-)

          I could even decide to take a picture of my black dog shoveling snow with a scarf and use it on the flyer, then take him with me to people's homes, imagine their faces when the same dog on the flyer shows up to their door claiming to be the employer of the snow workers? :-D

          Maybe I'll be pushing this flyer campaign thing wayyy to far? haha!
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  • On the second Flyer the headline could be...

    "We Told You Snow"


    Steve
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  • Profile picture of the author Kay King
    he's a made up character/dog, but if I gave him a normal unrelated name people at least would keep the hope alive that he's actually real.
    You are seriously over thinking and making up problems that don't exist. I don't care if your 'dog' is real or not - I wouldn't expect it to be. Pay attention to what Steve and others are saying.

    Don't project your over-complicated thinking onto what needs to be a simple, straight forward flyer promoting your snow removal business.

    The STORY LINE is 'we will clear the snow for you'...the image is a lighted hearted attention getter....it doesn't need it's own story line.


    Hi my name is Woofy the snow dog, me and my human friends are in the neighborhood shoveling snow. Bla bla bla..."
    NO - I would not use that. Stop trying to be funny - you are trying too hard and it does not work.
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    • Profile picture of the author Ernesto1
      Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

      You are seriously over thinking and making up problems that don't exist. I don't care if your 'dog' is real or not - I wouldn't expect it to be. Pay attention to what Steve and others are saying.

      Don't project your over-complicated thinking onto what needs to be a simple, straight forward flyer promoting your snow removal business.

      The STORY LINE is 'we will clear the snow for you'...the image is a lighted hearted attention getter....it doesn't need it's own story line.



      NO - I would not use that. Stop trying to be funny - you are trying too hard and it does not work.

      You're right Kay, I'm over thinking it too much. A simple headline calling out the problem, an attention-grabing funny picture of a dog shoveling snow, bullet points with the details of the service, prices, scarcity, and a call to action (CTA) should be enough. Thanks!
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  • Profile picture of the author Kokufm
    Hi guys
    Body Copy Winter got you feeling frosty? Fear not, our hilarious snow removal crew is here to turn your snowy frown upside down!
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  • Back to the dog.

    It can be real or imagined.

    But...

    As you have your own dog - he or she becomes your company's best asset/logo/staff member...

    The CEO would be good - and the wages aren't too high - or you could "invent" a "better than human" title.

    Because people are 1,977% * more receptive to trusting a salesperson with a dog than a salesperson on their own.

    So, your dog automatically adds massive credibility to your company (never mind the few people who dislike dogs, sales will be surpassed in multitudes by those that do).

    You and any pet owner will confirm that their animal is absolutely magnificent at the art of sales.


    And yes, let the customers meet their new canine friend.

    It's always good to have the boss supervising the work.


    Steve


    P.S. * this may not be such an inaccurate figure.

    Imagine somebody collecting money for the blind or partially sighted.

    How much more money will they raise if a guide dog is with them?

    I reckon about 2,979 large dog bowls more.


    If I ever had to sell door to door and was asked what incredible sales aid I most wanted.

    I would say "a labrador"


    Ok some people may not want the dog in their house, but it would wait patiently outside.

    And if they hadn't bought - I would shake my head and the dog would give them the "saddest" look.

    And I would say, "Are you sure you won't change your mind, think of all those benefits you'll get - and look at the poor dog's face, he knows you'll lose out by not having the product" (I bet 75% would say "Yes, for goodness sake we'll buy").

    And with those who bought - I would signal to the dog and it would wag its tail and have a huge doggie smile (what a way to ensure the sales sticks).


    Yes, a few of you are thinking what if the homeowner also has a dog who it isn't exactly happy about another dog being on its "territory" - it's an objection you aren't likely to find in any sales books.

    Just make sure your dog is well behaved and on a lead - and quickly put it back in the car.

    Again, very importantly, to avoid any injuries, you'll usually hear a homeowners dog going "berserk" as you walk up the driveway, don't take any risks - put your dog out of harm's way.


    Btw - when I had a dog, once or twice over all the years, when walking in the park a vicious looking hound came bounding up to us. I became a "human shield" and firmly said "Sit Down!"

    The offending dog was so surprised to see me doing this - it quickly helped me get back on my feet.
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  • Profile picture of the author Kay King
    Yes, a few of you are thinking what if the homeowner also has a dog who it isn't exactly happy about another dog being on its "territory" - it's an objection you aren't likely to find in any sales books.

    Not sure how serious you are - but I wouldn't take my dog out during or just after a winter storm with below freezing temps or leave her in the car without heat while I work.



    In years of writing, my opinion is that humor that WORKS in copy is perhaps one of the hardest things you can write. The OP is asking about a simple flyer to advertise a seasonal business. The less text it takes to explains what he does, the more likely it will be read by homeowners.


    Would be interested to know what the OP does use after the next snowstorm - and how well it works.
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    Saving one dog will not change the world - but the world changes forever for that one dog
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    Please do not 'release balloons' for celebrations. The balloons and trailing ribbons entangle birds and kill wildlife and livestock that think the balloons are food.
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  • Profile picture of the author GordonJ
    I don't know of any real successful TOP marketers who instruct in the use of humor.

    Getting people to part with money is serious business. Get off the dog.

    If you are in Western NY, Buffalo to Rochester, you get lake effect snow...and with modern forecasting, they have DAYS to prepare. A five hour flyer before it begins might be good for the second or third flyer delivered.

    Your PRICES will be the only attention getter they see. And when and how you show up to do the work. All this cutesy dog stuff is a delay. When is the next snow forecast in your area?

    Looks like at least 10 days out, so that gives you ample time to find the area you want to work in, present your initial flyer, with or without the dog. Knock on doors. Locate dense areas where you might be able to do several in a row...use this down time to become efficient, not cute.

    Whomever the TOP marketer you got that humor thing from, was wrong, except in certain situations and with a lot of skill. For what you intend, it is totally unnecessary UNLESS you are going to use it as a branding thing, then get your ducks in a row and set it up that way right from the start.

    GordonJ




    Originally Posted by Ernesto1 View Post

    I'm starting a snow removal business soon and I'd like to print 1000 flyers and deliver it to homeowner's doors 5 hours before the snow storm hits.

    I'd like to use humor to grab their attention because I heard a few top marketers say that if you can make people laugh in your marketing you could increase conversions and stand out.

    I would really appreciate it if I could get your feedback or if you could provide any copy that could make the flyer convert more customers.

    Here's what I got so far...


    "Do You Hate Shoveling Snow And Being Out in the Cold?"





    (A picture of a dog shoveling snow will be below the headline.)

    "We provide affordable snow removal services to help you escape from your white prison without needing to break your back (or your bank) and without asking a helicopter to fly you out!

    We are in the neighborhood right now shoveling snow, so if you need us, we're just around the corner making snow angels and digging out snow from your neighbor's property.

    But hurry, we're only a small team and spots are very limited of how many homes we can help. It's first come first served.

    Please text your address to 444-444-4444 and we'll come over as soon as possible. Or give us a call anytime."


    What do you think of the flyer, does it need work?

    Thanks for your time.
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    • Profile picture of the author Ernesto1
      Originally Posted by GordonJ View Post

      I don't know of any real successful TOP marketers who instruct in the use of humor.

      Getting people to part with money is serious business. Get off the dog.

      There are lots of famous marketers like Billy Gene, he uses humor on his Youtube Ads. Also, big advertising agencies like the Harmon Brothers use 100% humor on their ads.


      They did that famous Purple mattress commercial with the bigfoot/sasquatch family in the forest, which made Purple mattress a household name and got Purple six-digit sales.



      Here's their hilarious moma sasquatch video ...



      https://www.youtube.com/embed/XNT2mBjLoTk



      The Harmon Brothers agency are behind a lot of successful marketing campaigns, and they've done tons of videos for various brands.


      It's no accident or coincidence that all their funny ads pull so much ROI... humor is their biggest weapon.

      I remember that the Harmon Brothers agency made a marketing course on how to use funny ads to outsell the competition but I never bought it. Maybe I should buy it in the summer when I have more free time.

      I was always a huge fan of people using humor in ads but I never used it because I was afraid to cross that "professional" invisible line.

      But I'm tired of playing it safe dammit. It's about time that I start using it!

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  • Many Top Marketers have very successfully used humor - Rutz, Kern, Halbert and a host of others.

    But it is subjective.

    It must be understandable. And usually situational.

    Not ego driven, gag telling or a blind shot in trying to be funny.

    Aim for a smile - a laugh is a lot more difficult.

    Humor needs to be in symmetry with the copy, Metaphors are one of the easiest ways to do it.

    Never use race, religion, sex or politics.

    And certainly not cruelty to animals - as in freezing them in the snow.

    My dog loved the snow but I always avoided any uncomfortable or dangerous conditions,


    Animals have been used in advertising since time and immemorial.

    Here in the UK some of the most successful Ad campaigns ever - used animals either real or animated.

    Many brands are leagues ahead of all the others because of the "cute" animals.

    The "audience" loves them and will only ever buy those products making them by far the most profitable.

    All the data, research and results show if you can find the "right" way to use an animal - the response soars.

    I am by no means a top marketer - but anytime I've been able to incorporate a dog, cat or whatever into an Ad campaign - the client makes a lot more money.


    Steve


    P.S. To avoid any misunderstanding - humor and animals are NOT the mainstay of the Ad.

    The headline, benefits, offer and price are.

    And if a campaign has a very serious theme I would leave humour and animals for something lighter.
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    • Profile picture of the author GordonJ
      Yes, of course. And you are a PROFESSIONAL copywriter, not a biz newbie looking to pick up some work with fliers, of a very specific TIME oriented task...no snow, he doesn't work nor does his dog.

      It would take all of 10 seconds to vary any flyer with/without dogs, dawgs, or whatever to run 250 of each...and even then, will he really know from that small sample if it was effective?

      If he BRANDS it, as in Snow DAWGS, with a pic of a sled team pulling a plow, or a rescue dog with a barrel of rum around its neck, then that might become his brand.

      All those you mention had distinct personalities where their humor was a part of their personna. Halbert's biggest loss was a funny radio ad that brought in 0 sales, and he went a long time between that failure and establishing his humor in his craft.

      This guy needs to get the word out, and he has enough feedback here to go out and test it, with dogs, cats or geicos/lizards...in the snow plowing game it is all about AVAILABILITY at the time the service is needed, not because some flier has a cute animal on it.

      But, he has a few days to decide what he wants to do. It really doesn't require this much thought and speculation, does it?

      Again, amateurs need to know they do not have the professional skills, as you do, to start tweaking their copy (on a flier no less), until they actually have some business to begin with.

      Good luck to the guy with the plow.

      GordonJ


      Originally Posted by Steve The Copywriter View Post

      Many top marketers have very successfully used humor - Rutz, Kern, Halbert and a host of others.

      But it is subjective.

      It must be understandable. And usually situational.

      Not ego driven, gag telling or a blind shot in trying to be funny.

      Aim for a smile - a laugh is a lot more difficult.

      Humor needs to be in symmetry with the copy, Metaphors are one of the easiest ways to do it.

      Never use race, sex or politics.

      And certainly not cruelty to animals - as in freezing them in the snow.

      My dog loved the snow but I would always avoid any uncomfortable or dangerous conditions,


      Animals have been used in advertising since time and immemorial.

      Here in the UK some of the most successful Ad campaigns ever used animals either real or animated.

      Many brands are leagues ahead of all the others because they use "cute" animals.

      The "audience" loves them and will only ever buy those products making them by far the most profitable.

      All the data, research and results show if you can find the "right" way to use an animal - the response soars.

      I am by no means a top marketer - but anytime I've been able to incorporate a dog, cat or whatever into a campaign - the client makes more money.


      Steve


      P.S. To avoid any misunderstanding - humor and animals are NOT the mainstay of the Ad.

      The headline, benefits, offer and price are.

      And if a campaign has a very serious theme I would leave humour and animals for something lighter.
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    • Profile picture of the author Ernesto1
      Originally Posted by Steve The Copywriter View Post

      Many Top Marketers have very successfully used humor - Rutz, Kern, Halbert and a host of others.

      Animals have been used in advertising since time and immemorial.

      Here in the UK some of the most successful Ad campaigns ever - used animals either real or animated.

      Many brands are leagues ahead of all the others because of the "cute" animals.

      Absolutely, humor sells. And there's lots of marketers and agencies using it to bring the green grasshoppers. Especially animals and humor. Of course, there's a step by step formula to everything. You just gotta know how and when to use it.
      Signature

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  • I never heard Halberts radio commercial.

    But do know about the successes (with a touch of good humor) in his print Ads.

    I've got stacks of them and other A lister ads with humor in my copy archives - aka a memory stick.


    Anyway...

    I did say waaay back on # 8 ...

    Not to "over think" the Flyer - because they'll be such a hyper strong need.

    All the Flyer requires are the copy essentials - Kay mentioned many of them.

    I said this was no harm in using the dog (based on all the increased results I've seen using animals).


    And as the weather is likely to be freezing, the dog can happily stay warm indoors and just let his or her image on the Flyer help boost up the response.


    Steve


    P.S. I've never had so much trouble with "Dogs in an Ad" - and it might be safer if I never mention humor ever again.

    Only joking.
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  • Profile picture of the author Princess Balestra
    Las' time I played benevolently joosily easy herein, the mods blitzed me out on a filtho ticket.

    You seen that one fore'n it gaht pulled -- could be like a teen dream you had before presentation of SUICIDE.

    (Asya know, I would wish always to blend consummate expertise with reckless bonhomie for the benefit of anywan watchin' -- or mebbe forced to watch. Likely ima say sumthin' productively sensibyool at the droppa muh snatcho soon as my braino hatcho.)

    To which end/start:

    I would wish to summon the FRIVOLOUS vs DESPRIT axis.

    Here is where snow always falls, puppies crap evryplace, an' we all wanna figure maxo smart angles on flattest evah Oith.

    Moreovah: all natchrl animyools wanna be licked till'n they squirt nouveau visionarystuffs direck from'n their very eyeballs.

    FRIV. DEZ.

    In the playground of ultimate menace, wherein lies DEFINITION?

    (Nowan gotta ansa that meed-u-hurtly bcs yanno: hubbominably movin' target.)

    Meantimes, ain't it cool we all into Feb already without asteroid attacks, wasp plagues, or inflooenshwl morons jus' exterminate evrywan bcs WHIM?

    Valentines is imminent!

    How equally FRIV an' DESPRIT canya frickin' GET?

    Yanno it is like likes an' hearts were invented fore'n we figured BaseFleurrrghk.

    So hey to hell with the dahgs an' the sleds an the schwangoblitzo ... jus' kiss sumone sweet tamara.

    If it's an ad, K, I am, fine with that.

    But plz:

    1) Don't evah thrust nuthin' 'pon Moi I don't want.

    2) If'n I gotta be thrust upon, plz make it painless as possible.

    3) In any eithah/or sityooayshwaahn, plz witness my abundant variabyools.

    (Natchrlly the Benedict Cumberbatch clause whooshies evrythin' inta submission. Naht my prahblem, trooly -- but for the BALLISTIC YELPIN')

    * calms self *

    Anyways ... FRIV vs DESPRIT is a historical choicy-recoursy narrative burns forevah without resolooshwaahn -- less'n nowan says it does.

    An' who is that anyways?

    * calms self *

    * checks phone *

    * farts *
    Signature

    Lightin' fuses is for blowin' stuff togethah.

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  • Yes, a good outline from Lonna.


    A few things that could be added.

    Highlight more of the dilemmas and problems if customers try and do the snow clearing themselves.

    The problems if the snow isn't cleared quickly.

    The friendliness, expertise and credibility of the team.

    The stellar equipment used.

    And how the underlying ice is made safe.

    How is the snow on the house cleared to prevent any damage.

    The care taken of the customers property.

    A solid guarantee.

    The pricing structure.

    What is given free.

    More emphasis on how quickly they should book the service.


    And...

    Don't forget "Snowy The Wonder Dog"


    Another point, don't festoon your Flyers with only features.

    Do FAB +

    Feature - Advantage - Benefit + the emotional benefit the customer gets.


    Steve


    P.S. And how I hear you ask can all this be fitted on a Flyer?

    Because Flyers do not have to be the "standard size" just make them bigger.

    And one thing many "forget" - you can use both sides.
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    • Profile picture of the author Ernesto1
      Originally Posted by Steve The Copywriter View Post

      Yes, a good outline from Lonna.


      A few things that could be added.

      Highlight more of the dilemmas and problems if customers try and do the snow clearing themselves.

      The problems if the snow isn't cleared quickly.

      The friendliness, expertise and credibility of the team.

      The stellar equipment used.

      And how the underlying ice is made safe.

      How is the snow on the house cleared to prevent any damage.

      The care taken of the customers property.

      A solid guarantee.

      The pricing structure.

      What is given free.

      More emphasis on how quickly they should book the service.


      And...

      Don't forget "Snowy The Wonder Dog"


      Another point, don't festoon your Flyers with only features.

      Do FAB +

      Feature - Advantage - Benefit + the emotional benefit the customer gets.


      Steve


      P.S. And how I hear you ask can all this be fitted on a Flyer?

      Because Flyers do not have to be the "standard size" just make them bigger.

      And one thing many "forget" - you can use both sides.

      Thank you for the detailed tips! Those were great highlights.



      I particularly like the idea of adding a guarantee.



      For example, I'll probably say that if the work is not done properly that they won't pay a dime.



      That way if a prospect's hesitation from becoming a client was that the work won't be done correctly, then that excuse won't be a problem anymore.



      I'll try not to make the flyer too busy with text either, just say enough to make it an irresistible offer with an urgency to act now.



      I'll test different flyer variations, I'll print 200x5=1000.



      Each 200 flyer has a different ad and price point.



      I'll probably use a different phone number in each flyer variation, that way I'll see which got me the most orders.
      Signature

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  • Profile picture of the author Kay King
    Absolutely, humor sells. And there's lots of marketers and agencies using it to bring the green grasshoppers. Especially animals and humor. Of course, there's a step by step formula to everything. You just gotta know how and when to use it.
    Consider this: The 'sasquatch' commercial was PART of a campaign - another part of the campaign was a massive social media effort to promote the sasquatch commercial by talking about how great it was. Apparently that worked.

    If I were planning to operate a residential snow removal service - I would give out simple flyers with a branded (Snow Dogs?) refrigerator magnet with a phone number on it. I would have a phone line listed under the NAME I used for branding.

    I would have 3-4 additional flyers or post card ads ready to go so I could send them out days before a storm is forecast and perhaps drop them in the target area the day before a storm hits.

    There is something about copywriting threads I find fascinating. They always end up being almost a competition for which copywriter can come up with the quirkiest or most entertaining ideas. You don't need to 'entertain' or 'amuse' - you need to get your service in front of as many potential customers as possible.

    You have about 30-60 days left in snow season? Time to test 2-3 approaches and see which gets the most attention/customers. Then plan for next year's snow season so you are ready to roll out and know what is most likely to attract paying customers.
    Signature
    Saving one dog will not change the world - but the world changes forever for that one dog
    ***
    Please do not 'release balloons' for celebrations. The balloons and trailing ribbons entangle birds and kill wildlife and livestock that think the balloons are food.
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    • Profile picture of the author Ernesto1
      Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

      Consider this: The 'sasquatch' commercial was PART of a campaign - another part of the campaign was a massive social media effort to promote the sasquatch commercial by talking about how great it was. Apparently that worked.

      If I were planning to operate a residential snow removal service - I would give out simple flyers with a branded (Snow Dogs?) refrigerator magnet with a phone number on it. I would have a phone line listed under the NAME I used for branding.

      I would have 3-4 additional flyers or post card ads ready to go so I could send them out days before a storm is forecast and perhaps drop them in the target area the day before a storm hits.

      There is something about copywriting threads I find fascinating. They always end up being almost a competition for which copywriter can come up with the quirkiest or most entertaining ideas. You don't need to 'entertain' or 'amuse' - you need to get your service in front of as many potential customers as possible.

      You have about 30-60 days left in snow season? Time to test 2-3 approaches and see which gets the most attention/customers. Then plan for next year's snow season so you are ready to roll out and know what is most likely to attract paying customers.

      Magnet ads for the refrigerator is a great idea. Also, I've been looking into the USPS' Every Door Direct Mail (EDDM), which allows me to send 1000 postcards/flyers for $200.



      I filled out their online price on their site and found out I could blanket my entire local city for $2,997. There's noooo way that my team could handle all those orders. lol


      Of course, assuming the postcard/flyer converts well.


      I'm even thinking of using Facebook Ads as a test. It will have the same funny dog picture shoveling snow and basically the same copy in the flyer.



      How crazy it will be to get a flyer on the mail a day before the storm, then see it again on Facebook the day of the snow storm.


      Maybe the title of the flyer on the mail will say...


      "WARNING (CITY NAME): Snow Storm it's Coming Tomorrow... Keep This Flyer Handy in Case You Need Us!"



      Something like that.


      Anywho...



      You said: "You have about 30-60 days left in snow season?"


      Actually, the model of this snow removal business allows me to be the middle man.



      I don't do the shoveling or plowing myself.



      I wasn't gonna share this business idea with anyone, but because you guys been so nice and helpful, I'm gonna share it.


      You see, a month ago it snowed like crazy in my city and I wanted to leave my house, but I couldn't, so I felt like a prisoner. I also didn't had a snow shovel. I had to use a regular cement shovel that I found in my basement. Boy was that heavy... I was so miserable after 10 mins.



      Then an idea hit me.



      Snow removal is not a service that people "want"... it's a service that people actually desperately "need" and "require" after a snow storm.


      They're practically hostages and prisoners in their own homes.


      They want to go out and..


      *Go to work
      *Go food shopping
      *Go to the mall
      *Go to the airport
      *Go out on a date
      *Go to school
      *Etc, etc.


      The problem is, that most people hate to shovel snow in the cold...


      Whether you're 16, 36, or 76 years old... they absolutely hate it.



      So...


      I said to myself,


      What if I placed an ad on Craigslist that said...


      "Get paid to shovel snow all day, no experience necessary, all you need is a snow shovel. If you have a snow blowing machine in your garage even better. Call/text me at 2222222".


      Then, when the day of the snow storm happens and I get texts/calls from homeowners needing help, I'll simply text the address to the people that replied to the Craigslist ad and they'll go to take care of the snow.


      This snow business model you don't need a website, plow truck, Google ads, SEO, nothing... just a phone number on the flyer. Period.


      Like I said, when the calls come in, you simply text the address to your team and they'll take care of the rest.



      You can even pay for salt and ask one of your team members to go around putting salt to the homes that already been serviced.



      The beauty of this hands-off biz model, is that you can do this even if you live in Hawaii or Florida.


      All you need is a cell phone and internet access to know where in the US/world is gonna be the next snow storm. Which is basically everyday!



      Talk about a "Light bulb moment" for me!



      If in Chicago Illinois is gonna snow in 10 days from now, that's plenty of time to select a neighborhood that you want to spread your flyer. Then all you do is place a Craiglist ad in the local Illinois area.



      I've never seen nobody else doing this type of snow business this way before. It's very unique and different, and doesn't require the typical expenses and time, such as getting a website, SEO, expensive Google ads, truck, shovel snow, etc...



      Just a number on the flyer.



      Heck, you don't even need a logo.


      You gotta remember that people after a snow storm are desperate, they need and require your service to bail them out of an ice cold prison. They don't care who the f you are or how many years you have in business.


      And if you claim to offer the snow removal service at a 40-50% off less price than the real PROS in the city, then I wonder who they're gonna pick to get them the heck out of "jail".


      Maybe they'll text/call you mi amigo.



      Best part.


      Next time that there's another snow storm, who do you think they're gonna call? ;-)


      Ghost busters?


      Nah, you.


      Imagine this.



      You can even send a mass SMS text to your entire list of past clients.


      Something like...



      "Hi, last time it snowed we removed the snow outside your house. We're back in the neighborhood, simply reply back "Ok' and we'll come over again to remove the snow for you."


      Now let's do a little math...


      If you send out 1000 flyers and you get just 7% orders. (This percentage could be higher under the stressful snow circumstances)



      That's 70 houses.


      If you get $49.95 per house.



      Plus, an upsell of salt ($19.95)


      That's $4,892


      That's not bad.


      Of course, it's up to you how much you want to charge your clients and pay your team.


      As long you are in profit you should be good.



      And keep in mind, you could place 10,000 flyers before a snow storm and make even more moola.



      And if later you want to hire a personal assistant to manage everything for you, you could do that.



      Now, I don't know if this business model could work.



      But the potential is there for sure.


      Like they say, "demand and supply".



      But anyway, there you go...


      I shared the details.



      What's your opinion about this snow removal business model?
      Signature

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      • Profile picture of the author GordonJ
        Funny. I felt the WF was getting a lot of nonsense, and thought, well, maybe take a little break. Find some SERIOUS folk who really want to do something. But alas, pipe dreams, pie in the sky, EASY PEASY alakazam magical thinking is alive and well here. Indeed.

        Thanks to members who offered their serious advice and spent time responding to this thread, maybe someone down the road will find it useful.

        As to the idea; crazy lazy and a WASTE of everyone's time (OPINION).

        GordonJ






        Originally Posted by Ernesto1 View Post

        Magnet ads for the refrigerator is a great idea. Also, I've been looking into the USPS' Every Door Direct Mail (EDDM), which allows me to send 1000 postcards/flyers for $200.



        I filled out their online price on their site and found out I could blanket my entire local city for $2,997. There's noooo way that my team could handle all those orders. lol


        Of course, assuming the postcard/flyer converts well.


        I'm even thinking of using Facebook Ads as a test. It will have the same funny dog picture shoveling snow and basically the same copy in the flyer.



        How crazy it will be to get a flyer on the mail a day before the storm, then see it again on Facebook the day of the snow storm.


        Maybe the title of the flyer on the mail will say...


        "WARNING (CITY NAME): Snow Storm it's Coming Tomorrow... Keep This Flyer Handy in Case You Need Us!"



        Something like that.


        Anywho...



        You said: "You have about 30-60 days left in snow season?"


        Actually, the model of this snow removal business allows me to be the middle man.



        I don't do the shoveling or plowing myself.



        I wasn't gonna share this business idea with anyone, but because you guys been so nice and helpful, I'm gonna share it.


        You see, a month ago it snowed like crazy in my city and I wanted to leave my house, but I couldn't, so I felt like a prisoner. I also didn't had a snow shovel. I had to use a regular cement shovel that I found in my basement. Boy was that heavy... I was so miserable after 10 mins.



        Then an idea hit me.



        Snow removal is not a service that people "want"... it's a service that people actually desperately "need" and "require" after a snow storm.


        They're practically hostages and prisoners in their own homes.


        They want to go out and..


        *Go to work
        *Go food shopping
        *Go to the mall
        *Go to the airport
        *Go out on a date
        *Go to school
        *Etc, etc.


        The problem is, that most people hate to shovel snow in the cold...


        Whether you're 16, 36, or 76 years old... they absolutely hate it.



        So...


        I said to myself,


        What if I placed an ad on Craigslist that said...


        "Get paid to shovel snow all day, no experience necessary, all you need is a snow shovel. If you have a snow blowing machine in your garage even better. Call/text me at 2222222".


        Then, when the day of the snow storm happens and I get texts/calls from homeowners needing help, I'll simply text the address to the people that replied to the Craigslist ad and they'll go to take care of the snow.


        This snow business model you don't need a website, plow truck, Google ads, SEO, nothing... just a phone number on the flyer. Period.


        Like I said, when the calls come in, you simply text the address to your team and they'll take care of the rest.



        You can even pay for salt and ask one of your team members to go around putting salt to the homes that already been serviced.



        The beauty of this hands-off biz model, is that you can do this even if you live in Hawaii or Florida.


        All you need is a cell phone and internet access to know where in the US/world is gonna be the next snow storm. Which is basically everyday!



        Talk about a "Light bulb moment" for me!



        If in Chicago Illinois is gonna snow in 10 days from now, that's plenty of time to select a neighborhood that you want to spread your flyer. Then all you do is place a Craiglist ad in the local Illinois area.



        I've never seen nobody else doing this type of snow business this way before. It's very unique and different, and doesn't require the typical expenses and time, such as getting a website, SEO, expensive Google ads, truck, shovel snow, etc...



        Just a number on the flyer.



        Heck, you don't even need a logo.


        You gotta remember that people after a snow storm are desperate, they need and require your service to bail them out of an ice cold prison. They don't care who the f you are or how many years you have in business.


        And if you claim to offer the snow removal service at a 40-50% off less price than the real PROS in the city, then I wonder who they're gonna pick to get them the heck out of "jail".


        Maybe they'll text/call you mi amigo.



        Best part.


        Next time that there's another snow storm, who do you think they're gonna call? ;-)


        Ghost busters?


        Nah, you.


        Imagine this.



        You can even send a mass SMS text to your entire list of past clients.


        Something like...



        "Hi, last time it snowed we removed the snow outside your house. We're back in the neighborhood, simply reply back "Ok' and we'll come over again to remove the snow for you."


        Now let's do a little math...


        If you send out 1000 flyers and you get just 7% orders. (This percentage could be higher under the stressful snow circumstances)



        That's 70 houses.


        If you get $49.95 per house.



        Plus, an upsell of salt ($19.95)


        That's $4,892


        That's not bad.


        Of course, it's up to you how much you want to charge your clients and pay your team.


        As long you are in profit you should be good.



        And keep in mind, you could place 10,000 flyers before a snow storm and make even more moola.



        And if later you want to hire a personal assistant to manage everything for you, you could do that.



        Now, I don't know if this business model could work.



        But the potential is there for sure.


        Like they say, "demand and supply".



        But anyway, there you go...


        I shared the details.



        What's your opinion about this snow removal business model?
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11784101].message }}
        • Profile picture of the author Ernesto1
          Originally Posted by GordonJ View Post

          Funny. I felt the WF was getting a lot of nonsense, and thought, well, maybe take a little break. Find some SERIOUS folk who really want to do something. But alas, pipe dreams, pie in the sky, EASY PEASY alakazam magical thinking is alive and well here. Indeed.

          Thanks to members who offered their serious advice and spent time responding to this thread, maybe someone down the road will find it useful.

          As to the idea; crazy lazy and a WASTE of everyone's time (OPINION).

          GordonJ

          Hi Gordon, I respect your opinion. But there's a difference between being lazy and being a smart business entrepreneur.



          If you really want to be successful in life you need to work smarter, not harder. It's the basic principles of the famous "Rich Dad Poor Dad" book.


          Let's also not forget...


          "I would rather earn 1% off a 100 people's efforts than 100% of my own efforts." - John D. Rockefeller


          Yes, I could start my own plowing business and buy a plow truck, go out there house to house on every snowstorm and get paid decent money for plowing and shoveling snow with my hands all day. Plus, only work during the winter.



          Or...



          I could get 20-30 people to do the work for me, get a domain name like SnowStormAngels.com where prospects can sign up for a snow removal season package so I get paid residual income on every snowstorm.


          Best part.


          You can spread your flyer/marketing on any city (365 days a year) in the world, you're not limited to just your local area during the winter.


          If managed properly and with hard work, it could potentially turn into your own snow removal empire.



          Now, I completely agree with you, there's people that have unrealistic business ideas and crazy "pipe dreams" for making money like you say. But if you try to use your analytical mind more than your emotions, and your ideas are based on unchangeable marketing principles and figures, it could be worth testing.
          Signature

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          • Profile picture of the author GordonJ
            OK. Here are the reasons why this isn't going to work:

            You say I could get 20-30 people to do the work for me ...NO you can't, not off of craigslist. Have you run a single ad and have people lined up to shovel snow, the thing you say people hate to do, and generated this idea from?

            What will you pay these 1099ers, how, and will you pay them if the customer complains, if you even get one customer from your flyer? Prove the concept now while you have time between snow falls. Line up the shovels.

            Have you run ads on craigslist?... one of the worst places there is to get laborers. Why would I sign up with you when for 5 bux I can run my own ads for snow shoveling on craigslist and take the calls myself, what benefit do you offer to these people?

            Have you ever done EDDM or how do you distribute the fliers in remote locations, who is going to deliver these for you before the snow falls? Not you, so who does the flyer delivery? Are they paid, how do you insure they actually get to the houses?

            What about liability, or will you ask for forgiveness rather than permission if one of your snow shovelers either hurts themselves or does damage to someone's property?

            Your figures, of 7% is high when there are people who mail out 10000 EDDM and maybe get 10 responses and some not even that. You expect magic words and funny pics to CONVERT for you, and you expect some stranger in a distant city to show up and do a decent enough job to make it a win for everyone.

            Your secret is the flier right before the storm but what if they don't get delivered? The service is to be delivered by people who will say they will be ready to work but what if they don't?

            It is a sloppy business model, based on unrealistic expectations on several levels; expecting the flyer to convert, expecting craigslist laborers to show up (when they can run ads themselves), expecting to be remote and having this arbitrage snow service make money with all those moving parts, any one of which can break it down.

            When you first posted, we all assumed, or at least I did, that YOU were going to be doing the snow removal. Once you revealed your scheme, it became very evident this is based on a flawed concept. It will never work. BUT, if you prove me wrong, be happy to congratulate you on a brilliant business idea.

            I know craigslist. I know flyers, EDDM, and even snow removal. Because I do know these things, I also know this model will never work. Never.

            GordonJ

            Originally Posted by Ernesto1 View Post

            Hi Gordon, I respect your opinion. But there's a difference between being lazy and being a smart business entrepreneur.
            If you really want to be successful in life you need to work smarter, not harder. It's the basic principles of the famous "Rich Dad Poor Dad" book.
            Let's also not forget...
            "I would rather earn 1% off a 100 people's efforts than 100% of my own efforts." - John D. Rockefeller
            Yes, I could start my own plowing business and buy a plow truck, go out there house to house on every snowstorm and get paid decent money for plowing and shoveling snow with my hands all day. Plus, only work during the winter.
            Or...
            I could get 20-30 people to do the work for me, get a domain name like SnowStormAngels.com where prospects can sign up for a snow removal season package so I get paid residual income on every snowstorm.
            Best part.
            You can spread your flyer/marketing on any city (365 days a year) in the world, you're not limited to just your local area during the winter.
            If managed properly and with hard work, it could potentially turn into your own snow removal empire.

            Now, I completely agree with you, there's people that have unrealistic business ideas and crazy "pipe dreams" for making money like you say. But if you try to use your analytical mind more than your emotions, and your ideas are based on unchangeable marketing principles and figures, it could be worth testing.
            {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11784240].message }}
            • Profile picture of the author Ernesto1
              Originally Posted by GordonJ View Post

              OK. Here are the reasons why this isn't going to work:

              You say I could get 20-30 people to do the work for me ...NO you can't, not off of craigslist. Have you run a single ad and have people lined up to shovel snow, the thing you say people hate to do, and generated this idea from?

              What will you pay these 1099ers, how, and will you pay them if the customer complains, if you even get one customer from your flyer? Prove the concept now while you have time between snow falls. Line up the shovels.

              Have you run ads on craigslist?... one of the worst places there is to get laborers. Why would I sign up with you when for 5 bux I can run my own ads for snow shoveling on craigslist and take the calls myself, what benefit do you offer to these people?

              Have you ever done EDDM or how do you distribute the fliers in remote locations, who is going to deliver these for you before the snow falls? Not you, so who does the flyer delivery? Are they paid, how do you insure they actually get to the houses?

              What about liability, or will you ask for forgiveness rather than permission if one of your snow shovelers either hurts themselves or does damage to someone's property?

              Your figures, of 7% is high when there are people who mail out 10000 EDDM and maybe get 10 responses and some not even that. You expect magic words and funny pics to CONVERT for you, and you expect some stranger in a distant city to show up and do a decent enough job to make it a win for everyone.

              Your secret is the flier right before the storm but what if they don't get delivered? The service is to be delivered by people who will say they will be ready to work but what if they don't?

              It is a sloppy business model, based on unrealistic expectations on several levels; expecting the flyer to convert, expecting craigslist laborers to show up (when they can run ads themselves), expecting to be remote and having this arbitrage snow service make money with all those moving parts, any one of which can break it down.

              When you first posted, we all assumed, or at least I did, that YOU were going to be doing the snow removal. Once you revealed your scheme, it became very evident this is based on a flawed concept. It will never work. BUT, if you prove me wrong, be happy to congratulate you on a brilliant business idea.

              I know craigslist. I know flyers, EDDM, and even snow removal. Because I do know these things, I also know this model will never work. Never.

              GordonJ



              Actually, yes I have ran ads on Craigslist, for over 10 years. Whenever a friend or I needed a carpenter, landscaping, movers, cut the grass with a lawnmower, etc, we get 15 - 25 people within 3 to 5 days usually, sometimes more.

              If you think about it, almost everyone that lives in the cold weather owns a snow shovel, some even have a snow-blowing machine. There's plenty of people, even college students, that would love to earn extra money shoveling snow as a side hustle.

              There's a difference between shoveling snow at your own house for free, and getting paid for it. You'll be surprised what people would do for extra moola, especially nowadays with high gas and housing.

              I'm only gonna use Craigslist to look for laborers and the people that will distribute the flyers, not to look for homeowners that need rescue from the snow (although, CL could be a good place to test for leads too).

              I agree, direct response usually has a 3% - 5% conversion rate, however, you gotta keep in mind that the prospects are under heavy snow.

              This is no longer a matter if the prospect "wants" the service or not, it's a matter of "requiring" it like the air you breathe.

              Well, not exactly like air but you get my point.

              Conversion rates has to increase. How high? Who knows. That's the intreguing part for me.

              The flyers, Facebook ads, and the radio could all be used together to get the leads and orders to 'snow ball' in. No pun intended.

              You'll be surprised how cheap a radio ad cost nowadays. You could record the audio file for the radio yourself, or hire a voiceover artist to record it for you for $5-$10 on Fiverr.

              About the flyers, the people that will distribute the flyers they will know from the very begining (from the ad) that they'll need to take a picture with their phone to show proof they placed it on the door knob with tape.

              I'll explain to set their camera settings to the 'lowest resolution' so the pictures doesn't require too much space (and time) to store and upload.

              After they deliver all flyers then they'll upload the pictures to Google Drive for confirmation.

              Aside from flyers, I could also hire someone to go door-to-door knocking right after the snowstorm, and sell the service face to face with homeowners. I bet it'll be a piece of cake to sell it. Especially if there's good reasons to buy, example, getting their cars cleaned too. Salt added on the driveway so that their family members or kids won't fall and hurt themselves, etc.

              If the homeowner still says no, a possible discount could be applied to increase conversions. The more orders the guy/girl sells door to door, the more he/she earns. This keeps them motivated. They only sell the snow removal service, they won't be doing any shoveling whatsoever.

              They'll simply send the leads to me and I'll send the address to the shovelers.

              I agree that the flyer delivery person might quit or don't show up, that's why it's good to have 1 extra on standby in case they do.

              (Paragraphs removed by Moderator - do not give legal advice on the forum and political references not permitted here.)


              Most people only want to follow instructions and go to work. They don't want to write flyers, print them, distribute them,and jump through hoops.

              Also, the shovelers doesn't know the flyer distributors or anyone else. All they get is an address via text where they go to clean the next house from snow. You are the only one that has the entire panoramic view of the blueprint of the business.

              A week ago I called an independant snow removal guy with a plow truck to ask him questions about his prices. I found his ad on Craigslist. He lived 4 minutes from me so he decided to see my house for an estimate, that way on the next snowstorm he'll drop by.

              He quoted me $100 per visit with the salt added after the snow removal, and said this price was low compared to other local snow removal businesses. His business card said he had 6 years experience.

              How you pay the snow shovelers and flyer delivery people is up to you. Testing different price points is the only way to know for sure what works best.

              You said that this business model doesn't work, you said it very sure of yourself.

              However, no one should claim that something doesn't work without trying it first.

              You might say that 'it probably doesn't work', but it's not right or ethical to say that it absolutely will NEVER work. Because that statement you can't 100% confirm.

              Calling it a 'scheme' you already made up your mind that it doesn't work.

              Whenever you start in any new business idea, you're not supposed to have all the answers. You can figure that out along the way because if you overthink things too much you probably will never start that big idea that could bring you massive success.
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  • Profile picture of the author Kay King
    I'll probably say that if the work is not done properly that they won't pay a dime.
    Who defines 'properly'? I think that's shooting yourself in the foot - and not necessary...but it's your business.

    I think the 'testing' is a good idea. How many properties can you 'clear' per day? This is seasonal work that will only last 2-3 days after each storm? Does it last longer than that? I don't live in a high-snow area so don't know.
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  • Profile picture of the author Kay King
    Then an idea hit me.

    Glad something did - too bad it wasn't a snow shovel.
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    • Profile picture of the author Ernesto1
      Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

      Glad something did - too bad it wasn't a snow shovel.

      Hey if you don't see the potential in my idea then that's on you.



      You could be seating on a goldmine and not even know it.


      I did a search on eBay for the cost of printing 1000 flyers, it's only $25 for black and white, and $50 for color laser copies, both sides.



      Search for "1000 Custom Printing Service 8.5" x 11" Black&White Flyers" on eBay, their rates are 20 times cheaper than at your local print shop.



      With the low investment cost of this snow business model, being profitable on every snow storm is actually quite possible.


      You guys might not see it, but if just one person reading this thread gets it, it could make him/her some serious dinero if they do it correctly.


      I'm gonna be giving it a try soon.
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    • Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

      Glad something did - too bad it wasn't a snow shovel.

      Kay!

      Remind me again.

      What was it you said about using humor in ads?


      Steve


      P.S. Ernesto - I think the idea is - get on and use it!

      My concern is by the time the campaign starts people will be basking in the summer sunshine.

      And you may have to alter snow removal to garden maintenance.
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      • Profile picture of the author Ernesto1
        Originally Posted by Steve The Copywriter View Post

        Kay!

        Remind me again.

        What was it you said about using humor in ads?


        Steve


        P.S. Ernesto - I think the idea is - get on and use it!

        My concern is by the time the campaign starts people will be basking in the summer sunshine.

        And you may have to alter snow removal to garden maintenance.

        Thanks for your support Steve.


        Actually, the beauty of this snow removal business model, is that you can do it anywhere in the world that is snowing. Doing a simple search online will let you know when and where exactly it's gonna snow in the next 5-10 days.


        That's plenty of time to place an ad on Craigslist and get local people that wants to earn extra money to shovel snow. Then once the homeowners start contacting me to remove the snow, I'd simply send the address to the laborers. Sounds complicated but it's not.
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  • Good point.

    So we need to rename the dog.

    "Snowy The Wonderdog (International)"


    Steve
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    • Profile picture of the author Ernesto1
      Originally Posted by Steve The Copywriter View Post

      Good point.

      So we need to rename the dog.

      "Snowy The Wonderdog (International)"


      Steve

      lol I know right.
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  • Profile picture of the author Shoes Addict
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  • I also assumed this would be your own business in specific areas of the US of A.

    Not a worldwide conglomerate.

    And not necessary shovelling the snow yourself.

    But being fully in charge of a vetted, insured, trained and well equipped team or teams. With friendly, helpful demeanours to please the homeowners.

    Just make sure they wear hi vis jackets with the company name and telephone number to help bring in more
    business.

    This should be promoted as a super elite much needed professional service and the pricing can reflect that.


    Obviously "Snowy The Wonderdog" is the mascot and CEO. Always kept safe and warm.

    (Dogs and other animals can create such affinity with the target audience they certainly can ramp up the revenues).


    Flyers (with well crafted copy) can convert - it may not be 7%, but high enough to be very profitable.

    Delivery and timing must be precise (typhoons, hurricanes, floods and severe snow storms aside, phenomenal Flyers can usually arrive at their required destinations on time).


    Snow removal is a seasonal activity - but so is selling christmas trees, calendars, easter eggs etc.

    And if all the customers are delighted with your company's snow clearing expertise - they'll consider a whole range of other services throughout the rest of the year.


    Steve
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  • Profile picture of the author Kay King
    Whenever you start in any new business idea, you're not supposed to have all the answers.
    If there are regulations about licensing and insurance..."I didn't know" won't save you or your business. Your focus on 'flyers' doesn't help. TAPE flyers to someone's door? Take a photo of someone's property? Would be better to print your own flyers and pay to MAIL them....rather than have a homeowner call police to report you for littering or suspicious behavior. Do you have a vetting process for hiring workers or do you take anyone who applies?

    Not sure where you are located in NY - but for NYC there are numerous 'residential snow removal' businesses that have been operating for up to 25 years. As they all feature 'licensed and insured' and offer 'proof of insurance' - that may be a local or state requirement for doing this business.


    At this point you are arguing in an effort to convince people here about this great idea. Until you get started and organized in the event there are more snowstorms this winter....it's all hat/no cattle.


    Set it up - run your flyers, run your ads - and be ready for the next snowfall. Then let us know how it worked out for you...what worked well and what didn't...what could be done better...whether the pricing and plan worked as you anticipated.
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    • Profile picture of the author Ernesto1
      Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

      If there are regulations about licensing and insurance..."I didn't know" won't save you or your business. Your focus on 'flyers' doesn't help. TAPE flyers to someone's door? Take a photo of someone's property? Would be better to print your own flyers and pay to MAIL them....rather than have a homeowner call police to report you for littering or suspicious behavior. Do you have a vetting process for hiring workers or do you take anyone who applies?

      Not sure where you are located in NY - but for NYC there are numerous 'residential snow removal' businesses that have been operating for up to 25 years. As they all feature 'licensed and insured' and offer 'proof of insurance' - that may be a local or state requirement for doing this business.


      At this point you are arguing in an effort to convince people here about this great idea. Until you get started and organized in the event there are more snowstorms this winter....it's all hat/no cattle.


      Set it up - run your flyers, run your ads - and be ready for the next snowfall. Then let us know how it worked out for you...what worked well and what didn't...what could be done better...whether the pricing and plan worked as you anticipated.

      I live just outside of NY, there are lots of regular residential houses. I doubt that people would call police for a flyer about helping them with the snow.



      Even if one Karen does call police, they can't do anything about it because distributing flyers is not an illegal activity. Door to door flyer distribution for local businesses is done everyday in the US. Of course, you're not allowed to post it in or outside the mailbox. But other than that, it's fine.


      Yes you're right about insurance and being licensed. However, doing a quick test to see the conversion rate and profitability potential of this business model could be worth looking into.



      Besides, I doubt that a simple plain white flyer with no logo, just a picture of a dog and a few paragraphs that said "We're here in the neighborhood shoveling snow and helping out the community, if you need us let us know. Call/text 222-2222" would barely raise an eyebrow. Especially after a freezing heavy snowstorm.



      The flyer wouldn't even sound like it was designed and printed by a professional local business, more like a group of nice guys trying to make a side hustle by helping out the neighbors.



      Like I said, is just a small test to learn the numbers. If the math checks out, than absolutely, phase 2 of establishing the business can begin.
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  • It's difficult to fault Ernesto's enthusiasm.

    But running any business is never easy - the concept might be - but putting it into practise isn't.

    Unless you're willing to encounter and handle at least 17.5 major and 129.7 niggling problems - don't try.

    And don't ever sidestep, ignore or skirt around ALL the regulations, staff vetting, training and insurance - make absolutely sure they are ALL hammered in place. With full evidence (that would make the supreme court judges nod in full agreement) with certificates to show your esteemed customers.

    It seems there are a fair few competitors in the "Snow Shovelling" game.

    So you need to have a barnstormingly brilliant USP that positions you head and shoulders above all the competition.


    Remember nobody is really in the "Shovel The Snow" business.

    They are in the -

    Save you time... business

    Prevent you from danger...business

    Keep you safe... business

    The convenience...business

    etc etc. etc.


    Also people who are hit with an annual heavy snowfall may be well used to clearing their own decks (although they should be relieved it can be expertly done for them).

    But it would be good to heavily target those who may have difficulty in doing it.

    Seniors would be a good audience.


    Steve


    P.S. last time I picked up a shovel was in 1962. And I dropped it and nearly decapitated a toe.
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    • Profile picture of the author Ernesto1
      Originally Posted by Steve The Copywriter View Post

      It's difficult to fault Ernesto's enthusiasm.

      But running any business is never easy - the concept might be - but putting it into practise isn't.

      Unless you're willing to encounter and handle at least 17.5 major and 129.7 niggling problems - don't try.

      And don't ever sidestep, ignore or skirt around ALL the regulations, staff vetting, training and insurance - make absolutely sure they are ALL hammered in place. With full evidence (that would make the supreme court judges nod in full agreement) with certificates to show your esteemed customers.

      It seems there are a fair few competitors in the "Snow Shovelling" game.

      So you need to have a barnstormingly brilliant USP that positions you head and shoulders above all the competition.


      Remember nobody is really in the "Shovel The Snow" business.

      They are in the -

      Save you time... business

      Prevent you from danger...business

      Keep you safe... business

      The convenience...business

      etc etc. etc.


      Also people who are hit with an annual heavy snowfall may be well used to clearing their own decks (although they should be relieved it can be expertly done for them).

      But it would be good to heavily target those who may have difficulty in doing it.

      Seniors would be a good audience.


      Steve


      P.S. last time I picked up a shovel was in 1962. And I dropped it and nearly decapitated a toe.



      I totally agree about being insured and all that safety steps to protect yourself. However, in order to know if this business model is sustainable, scalable, and profitable, I'd need to first run a test.


      I'll like to know the numbers.



      I'll need to get 1 or 2 snowstorms under my belt to see what is the demand for the service and the conversion rate of the flyers/marketing.



      This test will let me know if getting insured and building a website for the snow removal service is worth my time. Is it a risk to fly without a safety net?... yes. But if my hunch is correct, than the risk would had been worth it.


      Besides, I'll take a few extra precautions and preventive measures to reduce any accidents and incidents from happening.



      "you need to have a barnstormingly brilliant USP that positions you head and shoulders above all the competition."


      Well said Steve, you sound like Todd Brown. He is constantly talking about the USP and about the E5 method. He's my favorite marketer and mentor.
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  • Profile picture of the author Frank Donovan
    Repeat business might be an issue. If I'm a homeowner in need of the service and a local person turns up - and does a good job - I'd probably take their phone number for the next snowfall, rather than calling a NY service center.

    As Gordon said, way too many moving parts in this scenario. I'd think it would be prudent to start with getting leads and selling those on to existing services. At least then you'd have some sort of proof of concept.
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    • Profile picture of the author Princess Balestra
      Originally Posted by Frank Donovan View Post

      Repeat business might be an issue. If I'm a homeowner in need of the service and a local person turns up - and does a good job - I'd probably take their phone number for the next snowfall, rather than calling a NY service center.

      As Gordon said, way too many moving parts in this scenario. I'd think it would be prudent to start with getting leads and selling those on to existing services. At least then you'd have some sort of proof of concept.
      For sure, the more fancy stuffs on any menu, the more you gonna confuse people to choose BURGER & FRIES.
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      • Profile picture of the author Kay King
        That's why when I thought of the idea of the snow removal business, I'm very excited to give it a test run as soon as I get a chance.

        You can ONLY give it a test run on Mother Nature's schedule. I am assuming you did not do anything about the snow yesterday? I'm not in the area so don't know personally - but the weather sites say the NY area got 2.5-5 inches of snow.


        There is more snow coming (or predicted) in the next week. Only actually getting out there and doing the work will you know if your 'idea' is good or not.
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    • Profile picture of the author Ernesto1
      Originally Posted by Frank Donovan View Post

      Repeat business might be an issue. If I'm a homeowner in need of the service and a local person turns up - and does a good job - I'd probably take their phone number for the next snowfall, rather than calling a NY service center.

      As Gordon said, way too many moving parts in this scenario. I'd think it would be prudent to start with getting leads and selling those on to existing services. At least then you'd have some sort of proof of concept.

      That's an interesting idea worth testing, selling leads directly to already established snow removal businesses. I would likely start by hiring laborers, then test selling the leads to snow removal business owners.
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  • Profile picture of the author Moodesburn1977
    suppose there is a time in place for everything, i think we dont want to come accross as salesey or serous, so yes i think lighten the mood is a very good idea
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  • Profile picture of the author max5ty
    Where I live here in Ohio, we've only had a couple of snow accumulations...

    when we did, there were several people on Facebook offering to shovel.

    Not to mention the people with the trucks, etc...

    most of which are landscapers that do snow removal in the winter.

    So, I agree with Gordon. I don't think your idea is really profitable when you are thinking about targeting local communities.
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    • Profile picture of the author Ernesto1
      Originally Posted by max5ty View Post

      Where I live here in Ohio, we've only had a couple of snow accumulations...

      when we did, there were several people on Facebook offering to shovel.

      Not to mention the people with the trucks, etc...

      most of which are landscapers that do snow removal in the winter.

      So, I agree with Gordon. I don't think your idea is really profitable when you are thinking about targeting local communities.

      Where there's a serious pain or heavy burden that you can fix for a market, there's always room to make money with your product or service.
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      • Profile picture of the author max5ty
        Originally Posted by Ernesto1 View Post

        Where there's a serious pain or heavy burden that you can fix for a market, there's always room to make money with your product or service.
        I agree. But...

        you also need to factor in a couple of variables in determining if the amount of money you can make is worth the effort, or exceeds the investment.

        Not all solutions to a problem are worth pursuing.

        First, how many people consider this a problem?

        Second, for those that do consider it a problem...how pressing of a problem do they consider this?

        A solution always becomes more valuable if the people with the problem perceive it as something that urgently needs to be fixed. As Clayton used to always say: 'Is it a problem that keeps them up at night?'

        So, as I said, where I live every time it snows, there are people on FB advertising they'll come shovel your walks, etc.

        I'm just not seeing how spending a couple hundred for flyers to target a neighborhood will turn a profit that is worth pursuing.

        You may prove me wrong...I've been wrong in the past about things...but with my opinion on this one, I feel pretty confident about it.

        I do give you credit for being out there and testing ideas.

        Best of luck.
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        • Profile picture of the author Ernesto1
          Originally Posted by max5ty View Post

          I agree. But...

          you also need to factor in a couple of variables in determining if the amount of money you can make is worth the effort, or exceeds the investment.

          Not all solutions to a problem are worth pursuing.

          First, how many people consider this a problem?

          Second, for those that do consider it a problem...how pressing of a problem do they consider this?

          A solution always becomes more valuable if the people with the problem perceive it as something that urgently needs to be fixed. As Clayton used to always say: 'Is it a problem that keeps them up at night?'

          So, as I said, where I live every time it snows, there are people on FB advertising they'll come shovel your walks, etc.

          I'm just not seeing how spending a couple hundred for flyers to target a neighborhood will turn a profit that is worth pursuing.

          You may prove me wrong...I've been wrong in the past about things...but with my opinion on this one, I feel pretty confident about it.

          I do give you credit for being out there and testing ideas.

          Best of luck.
          "Is it a problem that keeps them up at night?"

          Probably not, but shoveling snow is no walk in the park either. At least for most people, since most people in the US are out of shape and overweight.

          I agree with you about selecting the right niche when starting a business. The more urgent and important it is to fix the problem, the better.

          I had a friend years ago that made a nice living using only a drill and a $2 dollar peephole.

          What he did was, he installed peepholes in people's doors around town, that way when someone knocked on the door, the homeowner simply looked through the peephole and see who it was.

          What was unique about this peephole, it had a fish-eye 360 degree view so that the homeowner could see on the sides of the door (and below the door) in case there was a second thief hiding.

          My friend used just a cordless drill and 5 minutes of his time to install it, that's pretty much it.

          It was a super simple business that capitalized on people's fear for security and safety.

          I remember I saw one of his flyers, he had a picture of a masked robber (from the neck up) and a picture of the fisheye peephole with an arrow pointing to the peephole.

          The flyer briefly talked about keeping their family and kids safe from danger by installing his unique fish-eye peephole to their door.

          The flyer had the price of $19.95 for both the peephole and the installation.

          He bought the peephole from a supplier in China for $2 each in bulk.

          Even though the $19.95 price didn't seem like much, that was just his foot on the door (no pun intended), he made his money in the backend.

          After he installed the peephole and made friends with the homeowner, he then upsells his home security system that he installs in people's homes.

          He even sold car alarm systems!

          My friend was making some serious green grasshoppers. That was years ago but I bet it would still work today.

          But anywho...

          I totally agree, the more a market needs your product or service, the better.

          Like marketers say, "It is better to fit a product to a market than to fit a market to a product."
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    • Profile picture of the author DWolfe
      Originally Posted by Ernesto1 View Post

      I'll need to get 1 or 2 snowstorms under my belt to see what is the demand for the service and the conversion rate of the flyers/marketing.
      Originally Posted by Ernesto1 View Post

      I live just outside of NY, there are lots of regular residential houses. .
      Here's a tip to get started, today its in the 50s on the East Coast. Tuesday, February 13. A snowstorm that's been moving in from the West Coast, is forecast to bring snow to Binghampton, and several other areas in New York. Also, it is possible to snow depending on the weather patterns just north of NYC. That is 4 days to get your marketing flyer ready and to start looking for hires. That would be a good head start to try testing your product. If you choose this date, let us know how your Marketing works out.

      You got a lot of moving parts in your plan, that you need to figure out. Don't forget the prices for different amounts of accumulations. Plus the different sizes in properties. You do not want to quote $49.00 to shovel out 6 or more inches of snow on a large 3-car driveway, with sidewalks between neighbors and a long path to the front door, with 4-5 steep steps. Compared to a 1 car driveway with no sidewalks.
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      • Profile picture of the author Ernesto1
        Originally Posted by DWolfe View Post

        Here's a tip to get started, today its in the 50s on the East Coast. Tuesday, February 13. A snowstorm that's been moving in from the West Coast, is forecast to bring snow to Binghampton, and several other areas in New York. Also, it is possible to snow depending on the weather patterns just north of NYC. That is 4 days to get your marketing flyer ready and to start looking for hires. That would be a good head start to try testing your product. If you choose this date, let us know how your Marketing works out.

        You got a lot of moving parts in your plan, that you need to figure out. Don't forget the prices for different amounts of accumulations. Plus the different sizes in properties. You do not want to quote $49.00 to shovel out 6 or more inches of snow on a large 3-car driveway, with sidewalks between neighbors and a long path to the front door, with 4-5 steep steps. Compared to a 1 car driveway with no sidewalks.

        I'm a graphic designer so I got a lot of deadlines to keep. Even though my work pays the bills, I'm looking for a much easier way to make a living so that I can have more freedom to be with my family and friends, and not be behind a cold screen all day in my own invisible digital prison.



        That's why when I thought of the idea of the snow removal business, I'm very excited to give it a test run as soon as I get a chance.
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  • I haven't discovered if "Snow Shovelling" is a money spinner or not.

    We'll await the scintillating stats from Ernesto and "Snowy The Wonderdog."


    But I never knew it was a dastardly felony to bung a flyer in a mailbox in America.

    Not many have mailboxes here in the UK.

    But Flyer distribution services have no problem with those that do.


    Steve
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  • Profile picture of the author Kay King
    Significant snow predicted for NYC area tomorrow....here's a chance to test the theories. Let us know how it goes.
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    • Profile picture of the author Princess Balestra
      Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

      Significant snow predicted for NYC area tomorrow....here's a chance to test the theories. Let us know how it goes.
      Snow hits NYC?

      Who needs dahgs or divine intervention whenya can shrug till the enda time?

      "Yeah, so my sistah Suzie shrugs so hard she can fry BACON jus' like it was on the hood of a car in DEATH VALLEY."


      "Pile the ****** forty feet high! We're New Yorkers, not losers!"

      "Your rooral dumbass problem ain't the snow, it is your STYX. So move where the people are an' hug close till you aflame with paranoia."

      * lost the plaht with that las' one, lemme try agin ... *

      "The only snow in Brooklyn is avalanche after avalanche of cocaine."

      * naht helpin, Princess. 'Nuthah try, jus' to be sure you gaht it ... "

      "When aliens pull your corpse form the depths of Oblivion, your "NYC" data (evin if'n it jus' yr DICK) will inspire their science for the next 10,000,000 years"

      * Princess Pause here *

      " ... an' then, they too will die."

      Bonus Fickin' Whatevah:

      "Yeah, but least'n SNOW ain't no kinda TYPHOON. That only happens where all they got to be sucked away steada buried is TRASH."
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      Lightin' fuses is for blowin' stuff togethah.

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    • Profile picture of the author Ernesto1
      Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

      Significant snow predicted for NYC area tomorrow....here's a chance to test the theories. Let us know how it goes.

      I will as soon as I can give it my full attention. I wanna do this right, not half baked.


      And absolutely, I'll post my results on this thread.


      Even if it goes terrible, I don't mind sharing the results. I'm not the type that's afraid to look bad. All I care about is learning from the campaign.



      However, I got a feeling that it's gonna go well.
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  • Profile picture of the author Princess Balestra
    Gotta figure helpin' nowan' far far from home is blitzed bcs anti-woke sentiments.

    Plus also, sanitayschwaan in plenty places worldwide is so despritly inadequate we gaht disease runnin' rampant.

    So what if we take alla the PEE from places where its mere squirt fostahs the plague, an' fly it to where there is a snow prahblem in helicoptahs layin' idle bcs nowan figures droppin' aid to the impoverished is worth shit?

    BONUS: Any choppahs fulla pee flyin' anyplace rn gonna be more GLOBALLY WARMEDAH than evah before!

    HOT FLYIN' PEE.

    That is the slooshin', surely!
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    Lightin' fuses is for blowin' stuff togethah.

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