Hi,

Your first letter is visually a bit boring.

Why not split test them? What you prefer is irrelevant, the only thing that matters is which one sells the most.

Thanks for the feedback.

I modelled the first on a page I found recently. What I liked about it was that it was short copy and I did not have to scroll through a load of fluff.

I realise though that many recommend long copy and so I produced the second version.

It's only a $7 product - difficult to know what copy to go with. It's not the most exciting subject material in the world I know, but I've got to sell it somehow.

Who wants to Automate an Access Database with Macros?

You target market is probably Geeky guys who can't get a date if
their life depended on it

So Tell a Story ...

A Geeky Guy meets this Hot Girl in a Bar

She is having trouble Automating Her Database

He Offers to Help.

She Invites him to her Apartment to Help her
Set up The Macros

Afterwards ... (leave it to your imagination)

Your headline can be

How To Use The Magic Of MS Access Macros
To Automate Your Database ... So That You Can Pick Up
Hot Chicks In Bars!"

Jack

No - my target market are people that use MS Access or MS Office.

I don't see the relevance of your post.

Some of the best pick up artists in the world happen to work in I.T also.

So did I...well I still am, but I also trained as a PUA.
I understand where you are going with this, but I guess the target audience could be a little serious. If they come to a headline potentially insulting them (maybe it is true to life for them) they may be inclined to exit the page. My copy skills are not good enough to write a witty piece of text like that anyway.

Add your picture there, add more pictures,free valuable videos (takee them from youtube), free PLR, free reports which are in the same niche with your website, to increase confidence of people buying your products. Because they will see that they can trust you and you know your stuff what you are selling to them.

And don't forget to say thanks to me