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Does this seriously work?

by Keegahn
8 replies
So I'm not like, experienced at this stuff or anything but ugh... this seems kind of ridiculous...

Let me first say that I've never written a sales letter in my life and I could be totally off base, so I've come to the super sexy hotshot copywriters of this forum for some opinions...

I bought me some copywriting books and opened one tonight titled "Web Copy That Sells"... the first two chapters were cool. Like the whole blueprint structure thing, I can dig that. But chapter three seems kinda ridiculous and I just wanna see if this actually works...

If you were to write this in a sales letter...

I wonder how quickly you are going to buy this product?
Do people seriously not notice the obvious attempt at manipulating them? I went through the "presuppositions" page but nowhere did it state to presuppose people are stupid...

I hate to be a negative Nancy but it seems kind of ridiculous.

Does this seriously work? Do you write like this? Should I write like this?

Thanks in advance... y'all rock.
#work
  • Profile picture of the author ghyphena
    I think Harlan Kilstein says it better than anyone:

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    Gil-Ad Schwartz

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  • Profile picture of the author Keegahn
    Wow, that's the exact way I felt!

    When I was reading the reframing stuff, I had the exact same thoughts as Harlan... I haven't done any hardcore NLP certification stuff but I had read about reframing on Wikipedia previously.

    Thanks for the video!
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  • Profile picture of the author travlinguy
    Hey Nancy...

    Taking a single sentence out of context could make anything look weird. But the sentence you reference isn't so outrageous. Yes, that's a presup and would be perfectly acceptable in the right passage. By itself it seems a bit aggressive but if you were to set it up properly and qualify it with something like,

    Many people have found our widgets to be the finest on the market and people who require the speed and efficiency of the super duper double ding dong widget absolutely love our 'Supreme' model. I get dozens of letters every week about how well the Supereme model just purrs like a kitten for so many of my customers.

    If you've read this far it's absolutely clear that you recognize a quality widget when you see one and that I can help you. I often ponder which of the many benefits of the Supreme model you'll fall in love with first and sometimes wonder how quickly you're going to buy my product and become a proud owner of the entire Supreme line...

    Kinda off the cuff but you get the idea. There are several more presups in that passage as well and none, even the one you cited is particularly out of line. In fact, I might have overloaded the passage with presuppositions and still it flows well and dosen't come across as particularly agressive.

    I think that when someone writes good sales copy they need to believe in what they're pitching and that belief needs to come through as absolute, hands down confidence in the product or service. Again, it's all in the context. BTW, the phrases in blue are for emphasis only. I wouldn't have them like that in a real pitch.
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    • Profile picture of the author letsgetitstarted
      If you're using NLP in your copy you have to do it subtly. Too many people get it wrong and end up with copy that is blatant in its intentions. That's exactly what Harlan Kilstein is talking about. You need to fly under the radar with your NLP.
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  • Profile picture of the author candacemevis23
    The video helps a lot to newbie like me. Good article as well as great video.
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    Good Bye ....

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  • Profile picture of the author DiamondDealer
    The secret is that everybody thinks the same way you do, and everybody has heard the same selling secrets that you have heard. If you want to speak to someone, just speak to them honestly using your own words as if you were in a conversation. That's not to say your own words can't be improved for efficiency of the message, etc. Some people speak more clearly and convincingly than others. But when you're trying to use "magic slogans" you're not kidding anyone.
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