Salespage Review.... <====

It is extremely busy and screams desperate near the top. Use some white space and kill some of the bling. It's way too much.

Ask again after you have fixed the spyware injection or whatever it is that hangs my system ever time I load that page in both Firefox and IE 7.

Paul and Kristi,

This gives me some insight.

Paul, how would you suggest someone who is brand new to Internet Marketing (whatever the niche may be) to write their own sales letter?

Kristi, you mention white space and bling bling, is this to relax the reader so they will actually read the copy and not scroll through it? I know when I see alot going on I just scroll down to the bottom to find out the information.

Hi, Just a first glance there are a couple of problems I see.

The letter is full of features but I don't get the benefits.

There is just too much here. I would work on strengthening the copy rather than just making a really long page.

This is an impulse buy. I mean it's a $4.95 product not a $5000 seminar. I think you could get rid of much of the stuff here.

There is a lot of unecessary hype. Again, the product is only $4.95 to get started and $47 a month after. This isn't a $10,000 product.

I may not be your target market but...I feel if I bought this product it would be like getting a monthly membership to Walmart. Would I want a membership to Walmart? No. The offer isn't compelling enough for me. And it is cheapened with all the busyness.

Colloquial to the point of being unprofessional and because of that I feel that is one of the reasons the page loses credibility.

Here are the questions I go through when I am writing something and I try to answer every one thoroughly. After I have done that I refine and polish the piece. Maybe these questions will help you.

I try to go through these everytime. In the past I have had a tendency to get lazy or fall in love with my own copy. It cost me. I am much more diligent about going through all of the steps and then editing multiple times.

It takes longer and is a pain in the ass but it's worth it.

Another thing I have noticed over the years is when I am doing person to person sales I don't really have to hype things up. Yes, it helps if I have enthusiasm but really I find that educating people on how my products solve their problems better than anyone elses seems to do the trick.

These questions should help.

• Describe the features of the company, product or service. (Example of a feature: it processes one billion MB of data in one billionth of a nanosecond.)
• Describe the benefits of the company, product or service. (Example of a benefit is not that it processes data faster - the benefit is that because it's faster the buyer gets to leave work earlier. Therefore, the buyer benefits by spending less time at the computer and more time at home enjoying the good things in life.)
• What does your company, product or service do? Explain it simply, as if you're talking to a child in the sixth grade.
• Tell me your "elevator speech", i.e., your talking to a potential client about your product or service - and all the time you have is the time it takes to ride down to the lobby in the elevator.
• What's the story behind your product or service, why did you create it?
• Which unique features and benefits truly define your company, product or service -- and which your competition may not possess?
• What is not commonly known about your company, product or service?
• How is the product different from the competition's? Which features are exclusive? Which are better than the competition's?
• If the product isn't different, what attributes can be stressed that haven't been stressed by the competition?
• What technologies does the product compete against?
• What problems does the product or service solve?
• Who and what industries can use the product?
• How does the product work?
• How long will the product last?
• How much does the product cost?
• How easy is the product to use and maintain?
• What models, sizes are available?
• How quick can the product be delivered, and how and where can it be purchased?
• What service and support is available?
• Is it guaranteed?
• List the most commonly asked questions about your product or service as well as the answers you give.
• List the most common misconceptions that customers have about your service or product.
• Tell me all the steps you take, starting from the sales process to order fulfillment, or from initial meeting to completion of contract.
• Provide me with complete bios of you and other principals within your company or organization. Include accomplishments, accreditations, certifications and affiliations.
• List in detail your biggest success stories and case histories.

• Who's the audience, the target market?
• What are their demographics, i.e., age, gender, employment, income level, etc.?
• What are their geographics, i.e., country, region, state, city, etc.?
• What are their psychographics, i.e., interests, culture, lifestyle, hobbies, purchase history, associations, etc.?
• What are their technographics, i.e., Internet savvy, purchases online, Web sites they visit, uses the web for work, etc.?
• What's important and what motivates the people in this group?
• What hasn't worked for them in the past?
• What words or language will get through to them; what will turn their heads & get them to pay attention?
• Why do they need the product, and why do they need it now?
• What is the customer's main concern vis-à-vis this type of product? - e.g., price, delivery, performance, reliability, maintenance, quality, availability, efficiency, service.
• What's the theme? What angle should the copy exploit?
• What tone should the copy take, i.e., light, humorous, hard-hitting, serious, whimsical, official, friendly?

I hope this helps.

ok, thanks for all feedbacks. I changed up the salespage a little bit. I took the idea of adding more benefits, rewriting the headline without the word "WARNING", reduce the font of the headline just a little, added a video, used one of Paul's headline stating "The 7 myths about starting an Information products business", and finally removed the exclamation mark. Again, Thanks a lot for all the comments.
New feedbacks are back are appreciated...

-Ludovic