Ben, this is just my opinion, but your first 3 headlines (pre-head, head,
subhead) need work. The subhead is actually pretty good, but the main
headline in red, needs to be more specific.

What results?

Be specific. You need to grab these people right away.

What I was actually looking for in your main headline is what you put
in the subhead under it (hit longer straighter shots, etc.)

But you need to be even more specific.

Something like.

"How Would You Like To Add 100 Yards To Your Drives In As Little As
30 Minutes?"

I don't know golf that well, so if adding 100 yards to a drive is not
realistic, stick a number in there that is.

Point is, you have just a few seconds to grab somebody's attention and
that headline isn't going to do it.

At least it doesn't do it for me.

The standard for golf swing ads was pretty much set by Gary Halbert and his protegé John Carlton. Here's Carlton's headline -

Here's a killer resource for golf copy:

OHP Direct - Golf Instructional - Golf School - Golf Training - Golf Teachers - Golf Tips - Lower Scores -

Just click on a product for a top notch sales letter.

Dear Ben,

Your image is broken on the top for you.

Your conversion rate is good.

But it could be much better.

My 2 Cents:

1. Needs a good template to sell well.

2. Needs some photos of happy golfers smiling!

3. Needs work on that dense copy -- too hard to read! I like to have no more than 3 sentences in a paragraph and no more than 10 words per paragraph.

4. Edit the sentences down for more punch, take the sentences you have and cut them in half and put more descriptive words in the sentences with more EMOTION!

5. FEEL the copy and rewrite it with the feeling you get when making a par!

6. Redo the ebook covers they are too small to sell well.

7. Make it skimmable, this is an internet marketing sales letter, so you should make it skimmable so people can glance down or through the sales letter and they are hit with subheads in the body of the text that entices them to read more.

8. If it is about Golf Swing, shouldn't it have a banner of a guy golfing and hitting the hole?

9. Change the "Order now" button to say "Add to Cart" will at least add .5 or more to conversions.

10. You want 3 buttons in the sales letter for purchase.

11. Use nicer bullet check marks, something that matches the golf theme.

12. Make the testimonial boxes green or the beige color, but don't make the offer boxes the same as this is confusing. Make the offer boxes with a different style so they stand out.

13. P.S. and P.P.S. always use 1 or 3 not 2. Lower conversions with 2.

14. The last order box should be above the P.S.

Here is one of my golfing sites see how this is much easier to read and the offer is clearer?

Ultimate Guide To Playing Golf

Mine is pretty too.

I am launching this one soon.

Regards,

Jennie Heckel

golfswingsecret,

I want you to pretend that my post is the only 1 in this thread. Because its the only one that matters.

You have sent anywhere from 2500 to 30,000 or more to your offer. By your own admission you deliver a good quality product that shows in your low refund rate. You have your foot in the door in one of the most profitable markets out there.

Build A List. With the opt in rates at 50% or more, there is a good chance you could have had 1500 to 15,000 or more prospects on your list right now. and you could have had your hands full finding great deals for them or doing jv deals or writing a newsletter, spell checking it, or whatever right now.

And if you had 1 really good book in you, there are certainly others. And of course there are many other providers who could write more for you and plr pieces abound.

You literally have a ton of options and when you're tired of any of it, there'll probably be people lined up around the block to buy this business from you.

By the way...Great job on the work you've done and I hope you have much more success.

And about building a list. You could split test your current offer against a free offer. I wouldn't suggest a pop up on attempted page departure, I know it's said to work for a lot of people, but it might hurt your credibility. Have 2 different pages and see which gives you the best return for your efforts.

If you'd like to talk more, send me a pm because I don't tend to check the same thread very often.

Wow... a ton of great advice. I want to express my thanks to all especially to Tim Castleman who has gone above and beyond the call of duty to assist.

It's going to be fun making the changes and doing some testing with all this great information.

Thanks again to all

Ben