One of the best I've seen

38 replies
Guys check out
Old School Crappie Fishing Family Secrets

This guy has nailed tone, angle, proof, and offer. He writes like a pro but as far as I can tell he's just a addicted crappie fisherman.

Sign-up for his newsletter as well - it's worth going to school on...

Stan
  • Profile picture of the author Oxbloom
    Ha ha! That was great fun. A great example of how a good copywriter can take literally any subject and turn it into the most interesting thing you will read all day.

    Thanks for sharing.

    PS: Ain't no way in hell that was written by anything other than a pro.

    PPS: Google keyword shocks me again. Had no idea so many people wanted to catch crappie. Funny ol' world.
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  • Profile picture of the author ElGatito
    This is awesome. And I love the music in the beginning. It's a total stereotype, but you know which page is it that's playing the music.

    The copy is fun in general. And I agree with you Oxbloom, a pro wrote that. No question about it.
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  • Profile picture of the author Affiliateprocom
    Seriously good writing there... I'm gonna send this off to some friends of mine. this guy Rocks!
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    • Profile picture of the author simdog
      That was a fun letter to read. I totally agree, sounds Carltonesque...

      The story of the crappie fisherman trapped me. I had to keep reading. The hand writing font was just enough too.

      Loved it. It's going to my swipe file.

      Thanks for the find.
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  • Profile picture of the author davemiz
    that dude jacked an image from one of my sites.... not cool.
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    • Profile picture of the author Oxbloom
      Originally Posted by davemiz View Post

      that dude jacked an image from one of my sites.... not cool.
      That's a drag. It's not one of the testimonial images, I hope. I'd hate to think those were bogus.
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  • Profile picture of the author RickDuris
    Hi all,

    OK, here's the challenge...

    It's PDG. (Pretty darn good.) But it could be GREAT.

    How would YOU improve it? Think fast.

    I'll start.

    One word: VIDEO.

    If I sound like a broken record, so be it. 60% of ALL Internet traffic today is video.

    I'm NOT saying copywriters are the LPs of yesteryear, but if people want results fast, video is how you'll achieve them.

    - Rick Duris
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  • Profile picture of the author David Merriman
    If this isn't John Carlton's work, I'll shoot myself in the foot.
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    Be unique.

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  • #Paul,
    I'm a crappie fisherman and he's got a "TON" of my money in his bank account right now. If you can sell a copywriter then you've got the juice.

    #David
    I'm not sure he could afford Carlton. But with copy like this - he should move into the Bass category - he could clean up.

    As for video,
    I'm not sure if it would increase his conversions. He's set-up a nice ride from beginning to end. A video would ruin his momentum - IMHO.

    Here's my question:
    Name the one thing that this page has that makes it so irresistible?

    Stan
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  • Profile picture of the author duncanb
    Interesting and educational to see something like this.
    It spurs people on to be better and more committed copywriters.
    Thanks for sharing.
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    • Profile picture of the author JacobNeldson
      While I agree that video is increasingly where the money is, I don't think that writing will completely disappear. There's definitely a type of user who will MORE likely click if they're not confronted with some sort of playing video. I've seen this on a couple of my sites, where good writing pays off big time over video clicks.

      Thanks for sharing....it was a fun read!
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      • Profile picture of the author Oxbloom
        Originally Posted by JacobNeldson View Post

        While I agree that video is increasingly where the money is, I don't think that writing will completely disappear. There's definitely a type of user who will MORE likely click if they're not confronted with some sort of playing video. I've seen this on a couple of my sites, where good writing pays off big time over video clicks.

        Thanks for sharing....it was a fun read!
        I am that kind of reader.

        Furthermore, if I were a cold prospect, I never would have read this brilliant letter. Would have clicked away the instant the music started playing.

        But I get that I'm in the minority on this. Like Howard the Duck, I'm trapped in a world I never made.
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        • Profile picture of the author RickDuris
          Clearly, us copywriters (printed word) are being threaten by my comments about video. People are threatened that it's replacing the the written word.

          It IS. Get used to it.

          Oh my goodness.

          As an entrepreneur and business owner, if you've got the goods... assuming you can be interesting, entertaining and compelling and most importantly REAL at the the same time, it's game over.

          Sure, written word will NEVER go away, especially in direct mail where communication is limited. But when it comes to the the Internet, it's quickly getting to the point where the fact if you AREN'T using video, it IMPLIES you are hiding something. Translation: Loss of believability and credibility.

          Bottom line: Sub-optimization. And loss of sales.

          I don't care how good of a wordsmith you are, how attention grabbing your headline, how compelling your story, or how many power words you use.

          Compelling video trumps the written word.

          Hands down. And I say that as one of the most profit-producing, prolific copywriters around. (Modestly speaking, of course. ) As copywriters, we should all start transitioning and start writing compelling video scripts for our Clients.

          - Rick Duris
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          • Profile picture of the author J. Barry Mandel
            Hi Rick,


            Sort of, but there's really nothing to get used to...

            If the *copy* that's read in the video SUCKS then is the product going to sell like gangbusters?

            Don't think so

            Someone still has to write the script that has all of the elements that generates the sales.

            So is video really replacing the "written" word?

            Not at all.


            Best,

            Justin



            Originally Posted by RickDuris View Post

            People are threatened that it's replacing the the written word.

            It IS. Get used to it.


            - Rick Duris
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          • Profile picture of the author Jag82
            Hey Rick,

            Got a couple of comments for you.

            Originally Posted by RickDuris View Post

            Clearly, us copywriters (printed word) are being threaten by my comments about video. People are threatened that it's replacing the the written word.

            It IS. Get used to it.
            I'm not sure if copywriters are being threatened by video.
            If anything, I think many copywriters appreciate the role
            of video to boost conversion.

            With that said, I don't know if video will fully replace
            the written word.

            Some people may not have the patience to watch through
            the video. Some just want to get skim and get straight to the point.

            I'm not fully convinced that video will absolutely replace videos
            unless I see stats that say video beats the written word - everytime
            - in all niches.

            And I'm saying this as one who has used videos in my salescopy.



            Originally Posted by RickDuris View Post

            But when it comes to the the Internet, it's quickly getting to the point where the fact if you AREN'T using video, it IMPLIES you are hiding something. Translation: Loss of believability and credibility.
            I don't think that is always true. It's possible for a salescopy to be
            believable even if it doesn't have any video.

            At least that is the case for me. Because I've bought
            products on salespages with no video. I don't find anything
            nefarious or sinister there.



            Originally Posted by RickDuris View Post


            Compelling video trumps the written word.

            Hands down.
            Do you have any hard data to prove this statement?

            I mean data that encompass across a variety of niches, products
            and demographics?



            Originally Posted by RickDuris View Post

            As copywriters, we should all start transitioning and start writing compelling video scripts for our Clients.
            I believe many copywriters here will have not have
            much problem transitioning to writing video scripts.

            The scripts are still after all written copy.

            Also, I'm not sure about the use of "should" here.



            Lastly, I want to say again, I love videos.
            I use them. And will do so in future.

            But...but...I don't think video is the be-all, end-all, absolute
            solution all the time.

            We still have to test to be sure, right?

            Best,
            Jag
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            • Profile picture of the author RickDuris
              Hi Jag,

              I really appreciate your comment.

              However, I sincerely believe video isn't like an "if it works" and you should test it.

              No more so that using the word "free" in a headline or making an irresistible offer.

              If you're good, you just KNOW.

              I can say copywriters as well as clients are intimidated by video. Everything is exposed and laid bare.

              What's laid bare specifically?

              The slightest incongruency or doubt the presenter may have in their own product.

              Here's a fun homework assignment: Watch QVC or the Home Shopping Network. Especially the girly stuff, like jewelry or apparel.

              Record them if you can and listen with the video OFF... it's amazing. Then get them transcribed.

              You'll discover new strategies, especially for creating a sense of urgency, but the phrasing is amazing.

              Just do that for a day and then come back say "it needs to be tested."

              Give it a shot, Jag. It WILL change the way you look at copywriting forever.

              - Rick

              PS: Do not expect to hit it out of the park with video the first time. It is a talent, just like copywriting, that needs to be developed. Practice.
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              • Profile picture of the author RickDuris
                Hi Justin,

                I believe you are right at a basic level.

                But the person, their congruency, the proof--whatever it is, all makes a powerful difference.

                For instance, if I saw a stringer of crappie and a couple of guys reeling them in one after the other, hooting and hollering and drinking beer, I'd be convinced.

                But if you described it with just a testimonial, I'd still have questions. "Did they fake it? Is it real?"

                With video, I'd rarely have to guess.

                I'm sure you get the point. Words are a part of it, but it's not the whole story--so much more is conveyed implicitly and subliminally.

                - Rick Duris
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              • Profile picture of the author Jag82
                Originally Posted by RickDuris View Post

                Here's a fun homework assignment: Watch QVC or the Home Shopping Network. Especially the girly stuff, like jewelry or apparel.
                Hi Rick,

                Home shopping network informercials are brilliant.

                I agree they are very persuasive. And the scripts
                are very well crafted.


                Originally Posted by RickDuris View Post


                Just do that for a day and then come back say "it needs to be tested."

                Give it a shot, Jag. It WILL change the way you look at copywriting forever.
                As I mentioned previously, I've tested videos before.

                And I know they work. Video definitely has a place in selling.
                So we are on the same side here.

                What I want to point out mainly is that I'm not sure
                video is ready to fully replace the written word
                across all niches/demographics/product-types.

                Let's not forget we can also use a combo of
                video + written copy.

                Cheers,
                Jag
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  • Profile picture of the author AlanCarr
    How many TV stations are there in the US?

    How many radio stations?

    How many text-based web pages are there?

    I wouldn't count out text just yet...

    Video promised to kill the radio star. Nope. Fortin declared the long-format salesletter dead a few years ago. Nope.

    Ever printed out a video to read later or show your boss? Me neither.

    Video is more than a fad or gimmick but at best it backs up good selling, it is not, by itself, a sale. You still need to research the market, match the message, find the hook, craft the actual message to build response - and you still face greater technical challenges in both creation and delivery.

    The average webmaster does not have the power and bandwidth of Google/Youtube. In fact most websites with video deliver a halting, crawling experience, with hosting that can barely manage smooth audio. Google is losing money on Youtube - something's likely to give there.

    Video has it's place but it only replaces text in those places where it should, which isn't as obvious as it sounds...

    Consider direct mail. You could send em a CD with a video on it, or a link to a website with video on it. True?

    Picture Mrs Smith, standing over her wastepaper basket:

    Junk mail, junk mail, Mmmm... what's this? Junk mail, ah, a letter from Harry, junk mail.. a CD? Oh, some advert. Water bill... Oh! A postcard from Sally!

    At which point did she drop everything and rush to load up your advert?

    Didn't, right?

    What makes you think it's different on the web? Because it's just a click? Nope, still gotta wait for the thing to load, it's still a noisey, linear experience, if anything it's even more obviously an advert than a salesletter - and you can't scan it first to see if you're interested.

    Now until the day comes when the entire planet is wired with fiber optics, with speed so high that without any effort Mrs Smith can scan the whole video, seeing if anything catches her interest, it aint gonna replace good text.

    Bolster it, back it up, demonstrate, provide an extra proof element but not replace.

    Yeah, you wanna be a script copywriter - we get it already.



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    • Profile picture of the author Matt James
      As somebody who worked at a shopping channel for 7 (long) years, here's something you guys might find interesting.

      There was always a spike in phone calls and a sudden rush in orders just after we put up a full screen slide of text. Yep... the plain old written word.

      So we'd have an hour long show with the presenter throwing out his best sales pitch, product demonstrations, live phone-ins, the lot. But...

      Whenever we slapped up a screen graphic of nothing but text to explain the features and benefits... we'd get more orders.

      Just thought I'd give you guys a different angle on things...
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      • Profile picture of the author RickDuris
        GREAT point, Matt! No argument there at all.

        (I guess that's what keeps me in the copywriting/marketing game, as opposed to running off and coming a film director.)

        - Rick Duris
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        • Profile picture of the author RickDuris
          Hi Alan,

          You make some interesting points. I DO affirmatively agree with some of them. No argument here.

          Here's my overall take on what you said:

          If you had a stadium full of your most targeted prospects, you would rather pass out perfectly crafted, proven salesletters to read rather than taking the microphone and talking with them directly, flubs and all?

          And while in the stadium of your best prospects, you'd rather have them read short or long testimonials off the pages handed out, rather than you giving the microphone to just one of your average, yet still successful clients for them to tell their story?

          You'd rather have them read a description, short or long, of how your product is made or your service rendered, rather than showing them?

          And when you went for the close, you'd rather have them read it off the page, rather than see you up there, speak from the heart and hear from your own lips how much you want for them to benefit from what you have to offer?

          Sometimes, the best strategy IS words on paper. No doubt.

          Sometimes, that is pictures and audio.

          In the case of this particular letter, being a fisherman myself, if these crappie catching secrets are as effective as they say, I would have pulled out my credit card the moment I watched a couple of videos of some average, possibly drunk fishin' buddies reeling them in, one after the other.

          My wall of skepticism would have come right down, and I would be receptive to hearing more.

          I would have enjoyed watching them whooping it up, cleaning their day's catch, guts, blood and all. Especially if they were showing their kids how it's done, because that implies they'd be passing on a crappie fishin' legacy.

          I would also have enjoyed, like a voyeur, watching them sitting down with their family and friends, over a picnic table or a makeshift campfire, feasting on the results their efforts. Telling funny stories of the ones that got away, watching the sun set over the lake.

          These would not have not just reaffirmed my decision, it would have been incredibly compelling.

          Alan, if you can put those kinds of images into words alone and make them sell, you are by far a better copywriter than I. My opinion is this salesletter is begging for video.

          - Rick Duris
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  • Profile picture of the author DanielCW
    The pen will always be mightier than the remote!
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  • Profile picture of the author AlanCarr
    See Rick, here's the problem, right at the start:

    "If you had a stadium full of your most targeted prospects..."

    A stadium is a captive audience. Web visitors are not.

    Increasingly many are using some form of mobile access - and paying through the nose for bandwidth.

    Talking of which, barely over half of Americans have broadband, making video painfully slow and jerky, even if delivered from S3 or Youtube.

    Sure, IF you have a captive audience in a stadium, or a couch potato deeply rooted and staring mindlessly at the TV where video is delivered seamlessly, it can work great.

    Let me bounce it back at ya:

    If you were selling cars, you'd rather show them video of someone else driving it on a flat, 2D screen, rather than invite them for a test drive?

    I presume not, right? You realize that getting their butt on the sculpted leather, breathing in that new car aroma, feeling the v6 through their butt, that's gonna work better than any video, true?

    Does that mean video is no good and you can't sell cars with video? Of course not, there's all sorts of good reasons for spreading your message via video - most of which also apply to text and conventional images.

    Ever been watching some video, got distracted and missed a large chunk? If it was an advert, did you rewind?

    Video is very much linear, ie you can only grind forward. Sure, they CAN stop and rewind, or fast forward - but then your carefully-crafted sales message turns into squeaky-voiced comedy.

    One of the great claims of video is that surfers don't read text, they only scan. Sure, and for exactly the same reasons why many will avoid sitting there waiting for a video that will be grinding along at it's own pace. Offer me serious entertainment and perhaps I'll sit it out - but rarely for an advert.

    You CAN sell with video and if you've got the selling chops for that you could sell it by text too.

    Don't confuse the medium with the message.



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  • Profile picture of the author piercedthru
    Aren't we leaving serious money on the table if the written word isn't incorporated with video? there are literally thousand's of people who have access only to dial-up. Doesn't it all boil down to conversion's? kind of a no brainer,isn't it?
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    • Profile picture of the author RickDuris
      Hi Alan,

      I get it now. I understand and appreciate. You like to read. You think others prefer reading, especially adverts.

      You think the technology isn't up to snuff, especially for us slower bandwidth Americans.

      I disagree. Outside the search engines and facebook.com, youtube.com is the most popular website on the planet. (No, I am NOT talking about Alexa rankings.)

      None of your other rebbutals hold water. At least with me. Especially the comment about not mixing the medium with the message.

      OF COURSE you WANT to mix the medium with the message. THAT'S THE GOAL--to provide a complete, totally integrated experience.

      Bottom line, you want to create an experience as much as you can for the person. Take control. Influence. If you think people can do that alone and self generate with written words alone, great. Again, more power to you if you can do that effectively.

      I prefer taking them by the hand and taking them on a journey using as many senses as I can. A journey that will benefit them in the end.

      - Rick Duris

      PS: Look at it this way. I recently went on a date. I took my date to see Avatar in IMAX 3D.

      Now I should say my date was totally unprepared. She didn't know what to expect. She had to wear the funny looking glasses. Not cool, especially if you're a girl and dressed to the nines.

      Then in the first couple of minutes, the images started popping out in 3D. She whispered to me, "Ricky, this is overwhelming. I think I'm getting sick."

      I said "Stay with it. It will be fine."

      It was.

      We ended up watching Avatar two more times that night. Not my choice. She was hooked. It was like a rollercoaster ride she didn't want to get off of.

      My point is video does take some getting used to. My Clients struggle initially. But when they see the results, when they loosen up, they take to it like a duck to water. You'd be amazed at the before and after videos. Transformational.
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  • Profile picture of the author AlanCarr
    This is getting off topic so I'll end here.

    "I get it now. I understand and appreciate. You like to read. You think others prefer reading, especially adverts"

    Hell no, I think most people HATE reading!

    It's right up there with watching adverts.

    IF they're sufficently interested they'll read - but how do they know if a video is interesting?

    Without loading the thing and watching it first?

    I've said, video can compliment and back up the text - but it sure as hell doesn't replace it.

    The ad being discussed is exceptionally long and would benefit from some of the length being replaced by video - after hooking the reader in.

    With text.

    OK, final point and I'm out of this - what is THE most important part of a salesletter?

    I'll presume you know, so a simple question, what is it's main purpose?

    Now explain how you do that with a slow-loading video?




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    • Profile picture of the author RickDuris
      Hi Alan,

      I see now where you are coming from.

      You think the video supports the text, and I think the text supports the video.

      No worries. I appreciate your perspective.

      As for people watching adverts I can assure you QVC and HSN are winning models for people wanting to watch their advert-only channels as well as other infomercials. If you look at their financials, you can't help be impressed.

      To answer your question regarding slow loading videos, here's your answer, actually three:

      First, if the video is slow loading, one solution is to shift technology to a cloud network. So the transmission doesn't have to be half way around the world. Amazon has their S3 service. Or Google has their youtube.com although it is limited in terms of size of the video file.

      Second, shift to flash. Either .swf or .flv files.

      Third, you could pre-frame the video with text and say something like this:

      "When you click to play the video below, you'll see the proof. I suspect you'll probably be amazed. The video is 10 minutes 23 seconds long, and admittedly, if you don't have the bandwidth, it may load slowly. Please be a bit patient. I can assure you it is worth the wait, especially if you're serious about..."

      That's how you overcome slow load times.

      BUT--what you have to make sure is your video delivers the goods. The video has to be really good. Otherwise there will be remorse for wasting time.

      - Rick Duris
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  • Wow, my little thread has gone off the rails. This is the first for me. And to think I started this talking about great copywriting about my secret obsession - Crappie Fishing!

    Let's do this because Rick is fighting the good fight

    I would love to see an example of great direct response video used as a salesletter. I need a swipe, inspiration and umm...proof.

    Stan
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    • Profile picture of the author RickDuris
      Hi Stan, Just watch QVC or HSN and you'll have all the proof you need, especially when they sell out trinkets in a matter of minutes.

      As for online video that supports the compelling copy via a webpage or email, look at the Stompernet launch, Yanik Silver's Underground Seminars, etc.

      - Rick Duris
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  • Profile picture of the author AlanCarr
    Just watch QVC or HSN and you'll have all the proof you need
    Kool! - where's their website?

    Oh, you mean THIS kind of video:

    QVC.com: Online Shopping for Jewelry, Beauty, Apparel, Home, Electronics and more

    Erm...?



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  • Profile picture of the author Scott Murdaugh
    Can video compliment a sales letter to boost conversions? Yes.

    Can video alone beat text alone? In some cases, yes.

    Is video another form of media that marketers should be using to boost overall conversions? Yes.

    Should you be testing videos in your marketing? Yes.

    Will video ever completely eliminate the need for sales copy? No.

    TV didn't kill direct mail. Or newspapers, magazines or any other form of printed media that relies on advertising to sustain itself.

    The internet has hurt traditional printed media, but it hasn't killed it and if it ever does I'd say that's a long way into the future.

    For the majority of products and services sold locally, I could get the client a bigger bang for the buck with a direct mail package than a TV commercial... Why?

    Because you can target it. TV is expensive shotgun advertising. I can mail out a letter to a customer list at a fraction of the price and get better results.

    Have you ever bought anything from an infomercial? If so, I'd guarantee they followed up with you via mail.

    I think the real answer here is testing. Video CAN kill conversions on a text only website, even if it's done great. It CAN kill momentum. It CAN stop your entire sales message from being read.

    On the other side of the coin it can improve conversions.

    It's just another form of media. It's not going to kill text. Yeah, Youtube.com is a massive search engine, but how many of those people are your prospective buyers as opposed to searching for music or a funny cats video?

    I say this as I'm recording two videos today, one for a squeeze page and one for a sales letter...

    I fully understand and appreciate the value of video as a marketing tool. But it will continue to compliment text. In some cases a video sales presentation will outperform text.

    But text isn't going anywhere.

    The answer is the same for almost any marketing question. It depends. Test and tweak accordingly.

    -Scott
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    Over $30 Million In Marketing Data And A Decade Of Consistently Generating Breakthrough Results - Ask How My Unique Approach To Copy Typically Outsells Traditional Ads By Up To 29x Or More...

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  • Awesome Paul.
    Isn't it awesome that Carlton just gives the guy his "props" without cutting him down or feeling the need to criticize him. I've got to learn how to be gracious too...

    Stan
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  • Profile picture of the author J. Barry Mandel
    Just out of curiosity after seeing how good the copy was it's apparent that this guy is a niche marketer. He has lots of other sales letters on different kinds of fishing including bass fishing.

    I bet it all helps him to make some nice extra pocket change a month.
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