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Thanks in advance for reading this...

by Mitchymoo
7 replies
Hi guys,

I want to thank you in advance for reading this firstly. So here goes:

I've put up my first "warrior for hire" advert for my article writing services the other day and it's had a steady amount of views which I'm happy with. However I am trying to think how I can improve the coversion of those visits into queries or just straight orders.

I know that my prices are higher than some on here and I know that I have initially talked more about the features of my service rather than the benefits of my service.

What kind of changes would you advise that will create more conversions?

Here's the link:
http://www.warriorforum.com/warriors...ml#post1761998

Again, thankyou very much for reading this, I guarantee that your time looking at this will not be wasted and that 100% action will be taken on the advice you give.

Cheers

Jacob
#critique my salespage #torn #warrior for hire
  • Profile picture of the author Andrew Gould
    Hi Jacob,

    I'd try switching 'UK based' for something like 'native English speaker' as there are plenty of people over here who can barely speak the language.

    You say there's two of you, explain why that's a good thing e.g. faster turnaround times, proofreading, etc.

    Justify your prices in your main ad.

    Play up the quality aspect, plenty of people have bought $2/3 articles that have turned out to be rubbish, explain how and why yours are better. In fact, I think I'd focus primarily on this.

    Offer more services such as reviews and whole ebooks. Try positioning yourself as a content creator rather than just a writer.

    Format your testimonials better.

    Hope some of this helps.
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    Andrew Gould

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    • Profile picture of the author Mitchymoo
      Originally Posted by Andrew Gould View Post

      Hi Jacob,

      I'd try switching 'UK based' for something like 'native English speaker' as there are plenty of people over here who can barely speak the language.

      You say there's two of you, explain why that's a good thing e.g. faster turnaround times, proofreading, etc.

      Justify your prices in your main ad.

      Play up the quality aspect, plenty of people have bought $2/3 articles that have turned out to be rubbish, explain how and why yours are better. In fact, I think I'd focus primarily on this.

      Offer more services such as reviews and whole ebooks. Try positioning yourself as a content creator rather than just a writer.

      Format your testimonials better.

      Hope some of this helps.
      Thank you so much for this advice I'm going to rewrite my advert this afternoon!

      Is there a way I can edit the title?
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      Need help building your reputation as a single person, business owner? I can help by teaching consistency in simplicity for building your better business reputation.

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      • Profile picture of the author Andrew Gould
        Originally Posted by Mitchymoo View Post

        Thank you so much for this advice I'm going to rewrite my advert this afternoon!

        Is there a way I can edit the title?
        I don't know, I thought I'd seen some threads in the WSO forum where the title's been changed. You could always try the support desk.

        And get a photo of yourself into your profile, anything'll do, it'll help increase trust in you.
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        Andrew Gould

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  • Profile picture of the author Mitchymoo
    Nice one guys! Have a helped point on me! Pity I can't buy you guys a beer!
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  • Profile picture of the author Mitchymoo
    I've re-written my copy guys, can you have a quick look at it again?

    Thanks again!

    Jacob
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  • Profile picture of the author Andrew Gould
    Hi Jacob,

    That looks a lot better now, so here's some more thoughts for you:

    I wouldn't use 'write' and 'rewrite' in your headline, you could try something like 'that you've paid someone else for' or 'that you've paid a supposed professional for'. And I think you can get rid of the underlining. Maybe the 'with' could go as well.

    'and he or she' to 'and they' - Make it as conversational and quick to read as possible.

    'But when you receive the article is where the fun really begins...as you discover exactly why there were so cheap...'

    Don't use 'usually' twice so close together.

    'Investing that little bit more'

    Points 2 and 6 appear to say roughly the same thing.

    Make it as clear as possible that better quality content equals more adsense clicks, purchases, a higher flipping value or whatever your client's aiming for.

    Why are your customers treated as partners? (Repeat business, reputation, etc)

    I wouldn't make your ebook price negotiable, or at least don't state that it is.

    'what fellow warriors said'

    I'd remove the 'thanks' comments from your testimonials, they don't add anything.

    Make your ordering section bigger and center it.

    Tell them how to Skype you (via the button below your profile). Or see if you can insert a direct link (beyond my technical skills).

    Hope this is of use, and remember when writing copy technical accuracy isn't as important as getting the reader onto your slippery sales funnel.
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    Andrew Gould

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