Landing Page Review ?

14 replies
O.K. This much I understand ...

* Video Helps
* Some sort of success story helps (read below)
* It might be bad that I am using the word free in my background ?
* I should probably have more text ?

As far as success story goes I am going to incorporate the fact that I used these greeting cards and mailed them out to about 400 past cable subscribers that signed up through me (I do door to door sales) and generated about 25 new sales the last few days from those cards generating referrals.

Hopefully that text on the page with some suggestions you make will help me boost landing page sub rates. Right now it is around 10% which I know has to be low but do not know quite what to aim for.

Also, I will be getting a webcam soon but right now don't have one. I have seen that little automated cartoon guy that moves his mouth in sync to your recording, does that work well ? What about regular audio messages recorded versus video ?

I'm a very analytical person so I can guarantee any suggestions made here will be tested - whether or not they stay will be based on the split testing I will be starting soon.

Here is the page, flame away ... this was my first landing page in YEARS.

I can't post a link yet, but it is @ greeting cards program dot com
#landing #page #review
  • Profile picture of the author newagerml
    I just re glanced at it and I am thinking one of the suggestions that will be made is to focus on one aspect, it seems my bullet points just sent my own brain all over the place and confused me on the benefits of the program ?
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    • Profile picture of the author Andrew Gould
      Originally Posted by newagerml View Post

      I just re glanced at it and I am thinking one of the suggestions that will be made is to focus on one aspect, it seems my bullet points just sent my own brain all over the place and confused me on the benefits of the program ?
      You're right, I have absolutely no idea what you're actually offering. Other than something to do with greeting cards, obviously.

      All you need to do is tell me why I need to give you my details.
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      Andrew Gould

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    • Profile picture of the author standfast999
      to much text , too long for me to read.. dilutes your message, I would click past it
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  • Profile picture of the author newagerml
    O.K. rewrote that ... Let me know what you think about this copy please ?

    TYIA for the help !
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  • Profile picture of the author newagerml
    also, check out index2.html for a page I would split test with ...
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  • Profile picture of the author Andrew Gould
    It's a lot better, but I still had to read both of your pages to be sure what it actually is you're offering. It appears to be sending greeting cards to previous customers and prospects to get repeat trade and/or referrals?? If so, that's a solid, proven idea but what's to stop anyone just doing it themselves, it's hardly a complex process? What do you bring to this particular table?

    From your second page: I mailed all of my past customers a simple greeting card thanking them for their past business and asking them for referrals in a very subtle way. My phone blew up a few days later with sales calls. A couple of customers even called just to thank me for the card ! - Is there anymore to what you're doing than this? If not, then you're giving prospects your idea for free!

    Try creating some intrigue with your headline 'Are You Aware Of The Easiest And Most Effective Method For Quickly Boosting Your Sales' for example. And use blind bullets that don't actually reveal your methods, e.g. 'The subtle but effective little trick you MUST use to maximize your referrals'. Try using them to build up to a giveaway of a free report on your system, in exchange for their email address. Then use the report and your autoresponder sequence to sell your service or a trial.
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  • Profile picture of the author Andrew Gould
    Oh, and I'd consider losing the background, there's effective ugly design, and then there's 'my eyes are bleeding' ugly design. I'm pretty sure it falls into the second category.
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    Andrew Gould

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  • Profile picture of the author newagerml
    LOL Thanks Andrew - I want to at least test this page, see what type of numbers I pull for a day or two once I get the new Adwords campaigns in place. While I am waiting for that traffic to roll in I will do a couple more like what you are talking about.

    It does make perfect sense what you are saying, all of it ... and it will be put in place. Right now I want to concentrate on generating the traffic for a few hours before I do any page revamps though.

    Anyone else with any ideas to improve on these suggestions ? Although I see very little else that could be said. Direct, to the point, blunt, and much appreciated Andrew !
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  • Profile picture of the author newagerml
    BTW, check out stayintouchsystem dot com pretty sure they are selling the same product I am. I didn't submit my info though so I'm not sure but that is a page I would like to end up with eventually but right now cost prohibits it.
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  • Profile picture of the author Andrew Gould
    Give them your email address ASAP. Request a sample, even give them a ring, find out as much as possible.
    Then 'borrow' all their good ideas. And there are plenty I can see just from the first page of their site. Although it's far from a perfect design.
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    Andrew Gould

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  • Profile picture of the author newagerml
    Good Point - There system is different then mine as I looked deeper. That being said they are still a competitor as they are in the same *type* of market.

    I updated the index.html - The old index.html is now index3.html .. I personaly don't like the background but I do come from the school of ugly sells from way back in 1997
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  • Profile picture of the author Andrew Gould
    I think it looks a lot better now, although you do need to get the word 'free' in there somewhere.

    And you could change 'a matter of days' to 'X days', specificity is always better.
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    Andrew Gould

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  • Profile picture of the author newagerml
    Thanks, I will give that a try tomorrow when I wake up !
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  • Profile picture of the author TheGraduate
    Learn How 25 people call me?

    Really? Get rid of that headline as soon as possible, I know how they called you, they used a phone
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    amazing product coming soon!
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