Be Gentle With Me

by 20 replies
24
Ok,
I admit after having read some of the reviews here in the copywriting forum, I'm scared s***less about doing this but the fact is if I don't do it, I wont' learn a damn thing so here goes.

This is actually a PLR product that I got from right here in WF and so I did have a starting point. Not sure if that's good or bad. But I've changed the copy (not the graphics yet) and just would like some feedback on it.

www . discoversignsofcheating.com
#copywriting #gentle
  • Banned
    Go gentle huh? 'K. Not sure about the header and the rather gloomy dark blue background. Guess you have to split-test it. Your headline would be better in inverted commas and reading





    Use a full frontal headshot at top left and another when you sign off. Copy reads alright. Could be longer and break it up with more photos. Use an Ultimate Belcher Button saying "Add to Cart". Here's the wizard - The UBB Ultimate Belcher Button Wizard | TroyNotes

    You're probably better off getting a female writer to advise on this. Like Collette or Nicola or Cori or Rachel. That gentle enough for you? cheers, Mal.
    • [ 2 ] Thanks
    • [1] reply
    • First off, thank you. Yes that is more than gentle enough.

      The graphics were part of the package and I just haven't got round to changing them yet. (not that techie with websites and stuff). But will look into it asap.

      The picture of me? Hmm, dont' really want my face on it, but apparently I can 'buy' someone else's? (who knew).

      Off to get the belcher button now.

      OMG, I'm buzzing, lol.

      Thanks again.
      • [1] reply
  • Banned



    • [ 1 ] Thanks
    • [1] reply
    • Hmm, seems everyone is in agreement about the background, lol. I'd have thought a gloomy background would be better given the topic itself isn't exactly a fun niche - shows how much I know. :confused:

      J, thanks for your sizzler. My concern is that it's trying to cross over between two niches. Cheaters aren't necessarily thinking of breaking up, and even with an 'if' in there, I'm still not sure. Will definitely think about it though. Certainly widens the audience.
  • Upon first glance, the first thing that caught my attention was that atrocious background. Very gloomy indeed. I know you said you are going to change it, but please let that be your very first change you make. It's that important.

    I think most of your target audience will be women, so go with lighter pastel colors. It's more inviting.
    • [ 1 ] Thanks
  • San,
    You've already received some terrific advice here. I would add that you need to add "an upside" to this letter. I understand that anger, suspicion, and betrayal are key emotions here - but you need to sell the picture after you've caught the cheater. Give 'em something to look forward to. Afterall, the end result isn't an broken relationship - but the freedom to find someone better!

    Stan
    • [ 1 ] Thanks
    • [1] reply
    • Thanks Stan

      You're right. There is an upside, (every cloud has a silver lining huh?).

      I plan on getting stuck in to this at the weekend. At the moment, I just don't have the time to do anything with the site, (this week is throwing me one family crisis after another) which is very frustrating for me but also must be a pain in the neck for you guys who've given me all the advice and must be wondering why the heck I haven't sorted it out yet.

      Sorry.
  • I did not read the copy, I really believe that there is not much room for you to go wrong in your salescopy for that particular niche (the headline says it all: Find out if your partner is cheating on you ....I do not think I even had to read the copy if I was somebody looking for that kind of info), what I am wondering is: How do you plan to reach potential buyers in that particular niche?

    I have a product which was created specifically for Golddiggers looking to meet rich guys, but how do you reach that market? all the keywords that attract Golddiggers are been strongly hit by powerful so called millionaire dating sites....
    • [1] reply
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    Be Gentle With Me

    Ok, I admit after having read some of the reviews here in the copywriting forum, I'm scared s***less about doing this but the fact is if I don't do it, I wont' learn a damn thing so here goes.