Okay taking the plunge.. would love feedback on my salespage

Hi Karen,

Here is my honest review, hope it doesn't hurt too much My sole purpose in this review is to help you make more money, so I won't hold back in my critique.

First impression, the header graphic text was quite hard to read, didn't seem very professional, and it had what appeared to me as a reverse flow.

It described the answers before your question. I would put "Want More Traffic" in the top left, before your answers, and also, for branding purposes, I would also put your website logo in the top left, with your question: "Want More Traffic?", to further establish your brand. Check the attachment to see exactly what I mean.

Second Impression, it looks pretty technical to me... you need to competely simplify your copy. You are missing out on a huge part of the market, by alienating the newbies.

As a programmer, I could understand your copy, but for those who know nothing about RSS, you need to EXPLAIN WHAT RSS IS, and most importantly HOW CAN IT BENEFIT THEM.

Your headline is very 'tech savy oriented' and actually insults most work at home mom's that AREN'T Software Programmers: Work At Home Mom And Software Programmer.... does something you can't because you aren't a programmer...

Take a step back and look at your target audience, put yourself in their shoes, and think like your customer would think.

Think of the millions of people that are going online for the first time today, with no skills whatsoever, and try to write your sales copy to cater to those people who are just begging to get into this market.

My overall impression with your website is that you are targeting experienced web developers that know what RSS even is. (Explain this to those millions that don't actually know what rss is!!!) I hate to burst your bubble, but if you are just targeting the experienced group that already know what RSS is, and how to utilize it, you need to realize that these types of people already know how to utilize it's power and don't need your product.

You need to simplify your copy & approach... Write your copy to be understood by everyone, not just the guru's/programmers that know how to do what you are selling anyways, but to target those who don't know what RSS means in the first place, but are willing to learn, and are more than willing to pay you for your knowledge and valuable information.

Bottom line review, I would suggest re-writing your copy in a way that explains everything you are promoting in a 'how to for dummies' version and you would have great success.

I hope my straight forward review didn't offend you, but give you some valuable help in creating a successful business and helps you make more money online.

- Jared Alberghini

HI Karen you obviously did a lot of hard work....just some suggestions:

Header competes for attention with Headline (its too confusing anyways)
I would redo. Either less prominent or more attractive with less words.
Generally headers should have very few words in them.

Prehead says, "if you're foolishly not interested in RSS feeds click off the site now" ... This is a big mistake to say for obvious reasons. You've given me zero reasons to stay and already given me a reason to leave?????

Fundamentally you;re not quickly telling me WHY I SHOULD READ FURTHER.
The Head reads, "Putting the Power of Backlinks in My Hand" ...my response? So what?
The subhead as well is TOO NON- SPECIFIC.

What do I GET for all this?.....What is the BIG ULTIMATE BENEFIT?
Subhead says "You'll Unlock The Potential To Create Unlimited One Way and Two Way Links, Pointing Directly To YOUR Site"

(first of all saying 'potential' is weak, but even so WHAT DO 'LINKS' GIVE ME?)
....see what I'm saying? YOU have to make the connection for the reader. You can;t depend on them to figure it out.

Then you start talking about 'MASHING up data'....@^$&%!!$&&***@
I have no idea what you're talking about - none. Will the reader know?
Honestly, probably at this point i've left the site.

Why? because you haven;t given me one clear benefit-laden reason why I should wade through more of this page. Help me see what's in it for me!

I just scrolled up and read Jared's excellent comments. I'd agree you really need to think about WHO is the prospect in the first place. I'm not a programmer so I can;t relate at all. If you;re targeting new IMer's etc. it's probably off the mark, imo.

Still, you at least have something to work on and improve. Good Luck!

Disclaimer: all comments were meant to be constructive. No animals or children were harmed during critique.
_______
Bruce

You need to put the obvious benefit right out in front for those that aren't aware of what it is. We here all know why back links are important, but you'd be amazed how many people aren't. I even had to tell my IT guy why we needed to get backlinks with the proper anchor text because he's technically competent, but hasn't a clue about this kind of stuff.

Tell them the benefit right away, "You'll get More Traffic" (but make it sound better than I just did.