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Trying to improve - willing to learn

by burtie
3 replies
Hello,

I have a site that sells 40 different hypnosis downloads. After a two year break I am getting back to IM and want to be able to better market the products that I am currently selling.

I am making reasonable sales on the following product but know that I can improve the sales copy and raise my conversion.

Here is the page: Feminization Hypnosis Download on RichardMacKenzieDirect.com

What would you good people recommend I do first? I know that I will have a lot to learn so please be brutally honest.

I have been reading tonight about The Belcher Button and am very excited by what that may achieve for me.

Thank you for your time.
#improve #learn
  • Profile picture of the author Kevin Rogers
    Hi Burtie,

    Only time for a quick look today, but 3 quick things right off the bat...

    1. Your header is needlessly large. Cut it down and make room for a headline.

    2. Write a headline. One that speaks to your best prospect. Don't be vague. Messages like: "Giving you what you want with the click of a mouse" means very different things to different people which means it also says nothing to nobody. Find out what your prospect is desperate for and promise to deliver it. (Then, of course, deliver it.)

    3. Your first paragraph in the body copy is pure throat clearing. Your second paragraph is where it begins with: "Have you always wished to set free the woman inside you; to allow your feminine attributes to flourish?"

    Also, no semicolons in copy. We don't have many rules on gram and punc, but that's one of 'em; just too formal. (see?)

    Intriguing niche. I wish you well.

    Kevin
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  • Profile picture of the author travlinguy
    As mentioned above, you need a headline that sings the benefits of your product. What do your customers want the most? What are their fears? What are their frustrations? What would they do almost anything to have? Address these issues in the headline.

    If you're the person who has written the hypnosis material I'd have to assume you know all of the above and more. Hit your prospects right in the face with their biggest concerns and then promise the fix.

    Your copy isn't bad but I'd develop it out more. You do touch a couple of hot buttons but it could be better. Again, what do your customers want more than anything else? Give that to them in the body of your copy. You also need to break it into smaller paragraphs. People are intimidated by large blocks of text. Good luck.
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