My copy sucks, but it made me $1k in 5 days, need your help!

22 replies
Hey copy Warriors.

I'm not a copywriter, but I managed to put up a copy, that made me some good money (at least for me) with very small amount of unique visitors. It's located at:
Killer Sales Video- Top Quality Custom Marketing Video, Promotional Video, Video Trailers, Video Tours, Video Testimonials

What do you think about it?

Suggestions are very welcome.

Meanwhile, here is what I'll try to add (tell me if you think it's wrong)
  • Opt in (to receive some discount codes and holiday promotions)
  • Popup after 30 seconds (aking for optin)
  • Exit popup once again asking for optin
  • Some form of video salesletter (work in progress)
  • Make quotes look better
  • Add postit note and handwritten reminder
  • Instead of buy now, make "add to cart"

Your suggestions are very very welcome!

Thanks in advance!

Chris Willow
#$1k #copy #days #made #sucks
  • Profile picture of the author Loren Woirhaye
    if it's making you money Chris you are doing something
    right - perhaps your product is good and people think
    it is worth buying?

    You could tighten up the language - get rid of some
    adjectives and so on - but by and large you seem to
    have something that presents your offer clearly.

    Clarity these days is crucial. With a lot of IM salesletters
    I can't figure out what the hell they are selling. It's
    a little tricky to offer more than one product on a
    salesletter - too much choice encourages inaction.

    I would be cautious about loading it up with gimmicks
    like pop-ins. Throwing in every "response boosting"
    gimmick can have the opposite effect because readers
    feel a little beat-up... so test elements one at a time
    and then combine them to find what gets you the most
    inquiries.

    You should be focusing on generating leads. Get phone
    numbers too. As time progresses you'll send links to
    new videos you and making and writing "I only have
    2 slots available in the next 4 weeks so order your
    custom video now."
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  • Profile picture of the author Chris_Willow
    Thanks, Loren,

    I really like the idea of sending out messages about slots left etc. I think I'll set up the popups and optins just like you said- one by one then see what happens.

    Thanks for taking your time to help out, Loren!

    Chris
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    • Profile picture of the author John Henderson
      I'm not a copywriter, but I liked the page Chris.

      I think that you nailed down a problem (crappy online vids) upon which everyone will agree with you. Then you gave a menu of possible solutions to your prospective audience: trailers, templates, tutorials, testimonials... This provided "plenty to choose from".

      So, that's my feeling on why this page is doing so well; you've identified a problem that everyone can see, then you've offered solutions that appeal to a wide range of people.
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  • Profile picture of the author Chris_Willow
    Thanks for your input, John!
    The copy may not be the best, but while the offer is good, it does not matter as much.

    In fact I'm really into personal opinions so keep em coming (professional advice is good too )

    Chris
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    • Profile picture of the author John Henderson
      Originally Posted by Chris_Willow View Post

      The copy may not be the best, but while the offer is good, it does not matter as much.
      Absolutely true, Chris. Back in the "bronze age" of the web (1996 or 97), I went to a day-long seminar on "How to build a website for your business" :rolleyes: . I don't remember a damn thing about that day, apart from one quote that the speaker gave during the morning session: "How many people would be worried about your web site's appearance if it contained this weekend's winning lottery numbers?".

      I think that this question is connected to your situation; the problem that your product solves and the plentiful options you offer are so obvious to viewers of your page that perhaps you don't need to bash people over the head with the "hard sell". The product sells itself.
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  • Profile picture of the author 23354
    Banned
    [DELETED]
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    • Profile picture of the author David Neale
      I think it's very good. The quality of all elements is first class which separates it from most others. By presenting with quality I think it creates trust.

      I would change some things like I'd add more space between the headline and the logo and the 1-2-3-4 bullets at the top could use a little more breathing room between them also.

      In general I'd loosen up the spacing a bit, create a little more white space.

      I have little experience with this style of sales page. I've just been researching them for the last few weeks in detail so my comments are from a web designers view point not an expert sales letter writer.

      I think the video tours product is exceptional. Great idea and it's not just a trailer, your actually creating a complete product for your customer which I think has more value.
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      David Neale

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      • Profile picture of the author Matt James
        Hi Chris,

        You should probably do something about your PS.

        I scanned straight down to the bottom (as most folks will) and your first PS doesn't really make any sense while the second just make me feel like I'm missing out (where are these discount codes??)

        There are a few other things as you know but the offer is a goodie
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  • Profile picture of the author Chris_Willow
    Thanks, guys, I really appreciate your input!
    I'm going to fix the spelling error now, thanks for pointing that out.

    Anyways I'm about to rework the whole thing - make people opt in to see the salesletter (customised with first name etc) to get rid of tire kickers and make it more exclusive.

    Now to finish all the videos people have ordered...

    Chris
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    • Profile picture of the author Lance K
      If your product is Killer Sales Videos that stop visitors in their tracks, suck them in, and converts them into buyers, then why is the bulk of your copy written? Your product lends itself perfectly to demonstration through a "video sales letter" so to speak. You can keep some written copy, but I'd kick it of with one of those KSVs right at the top of your page and set it to autorun.

      Also, the bottom reflection effect of your logo is distracting when trying to read your headline.
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      "You can have everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want."
      ~ Zig Ziglar
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      • Profile picture of the author Lance K
        Also, you're trying to sell too many things from one page. Give each service/product it's own page. That way if nothing else, you can show people your lower priced services/products when they navigate away without buying. Sort of like an exit pop down sell.
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        "You can have everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want."
        ~ Zig Ziglar
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    • Profile picture of the author ic7
      Some form of video salesletter (work in progress)
      Like Lance said, that's the number one thing I would do. Make a direct pitch video -- basically you talking directly to the camera. With, of course, great lighting, sound, etc. And I would put the video right where your first bullet list is, right at the top of the page.

      I like what you're doing. Good luck with the project, Paul
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  • Profile picture of the author Chris_Willow
    Thanks guys,

    I'm finishing my schedule of videos and then making this thig rock with all the video you can possibly imagine

    Chris
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  • Profile picture of the author Steve Faber
    I read somewhere, I think it was from a fellow warrior that the term "Add to cart" actually tested much better than "buy now" or any other button copy. This is especially true when used on a site like yours that is selling multiple items. It's worked well for me too.
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  • Profile picture of the author Rich Currie
    Hey Chris, aside of some small typo stuff, I got to tell you I love the page!

    Good luck with it.
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  • Profile picture of the author LeapingHorse
    Hey Chris - I'm a little late chiming in but I just saw your site today. I think the videos are doing the selling here - your product looks solid.

    Personally I think the font selection is a little off - I would try to add an extra space here and there to break it up a bit more and make it more readable.

    Also, I admit I haven't read every word, but I did notice you have "desinged" spelt incorrectily. Do a thourough check to make sure little errors like that aren't anywhere to be seen.

    Lastly, I would strongly advise against using the testimonial that has the link to Welcome To Video Ad Gold - Your Traffic Driving And Revenue Creating Future - And That Future Is NOW - I know nothing about the product on the site, but the video being used there looks awful. Poor quality and right at the top of the page. You would hate for people to think that the video there is your work.
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  • Profile picture of the author David Raybould
    Hi Chris,

    Good job on the copy. I think it's a lot better than you think man.

    One little tip for you though - add another PS, and in it, mention your guarantee again.

    People may miss the guarantee when they're scanning through, but the PS's will get seen pretty often even by the scanners.

    Hope that helps.

    David
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    Killer Emails. Cash-spewing VSLs. Turbocharged Landing Pages.

    Whatever you need, my high converting copy puts more money in your pocket. PM for details. 10 years experience and 9 figure revenues.
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  • Profile picture of the author Raydal
    What sells your product is the product itself which is demonstrated
    quite well, so copy is not going to help you that much, maybe the
    words will carry about 10% of the selling weight.

    As important as words and copywriting is nothing comes close to a
    DEMONSTRATION of the product in use--and that's the clear
    advantage you have, especially since the "importance of online videos"
    argument has been clearly made already for your target market.

    I wouldn't worry too much about the copywriting as I would about
    your marketing strategies.

    -Ray L.,
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    The most powerful and concentrated copywriting training online today bar none! Autoresponder Writing Email SECRETS
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  • Profile picture of the author Chris_Willow
    Thanks for the reviews guys. Actually as of december I have a brand new copy up there created by a pro so it doesn't have tu suck that much

    Yes, my marketing strategies... Raydal, I guess I know what you mean, but I'm actively working on it.

    Thanks

    Chris
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  • Profile picture of the author Chris_Willow
    Thanks Chief.
    I believe it hasn't changed ver much. As per other posters it's the offer what sells. I'll try to change the font and check for some mistakes, but anyways I've got a whole new video project with a new and completely different USP. I'll make sure to put it on here for reviews when it's up.

    With this business I'm not getting huge number of clients, but the ones that I have pay well. Others however are more low end customers who usually buy the templates. The new site will be productlaunchvideo.net and I'll try to target some even bigger fishes with it. I like working with a few high paying exclusive projects rather than filling in the templates over and over again.

    Thanks for checking by
    Chris
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  • Profile picture of the author Topgunb
    Looking good, sent you a pm
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    swdcomputers@gmail.com For the best real deal in town!
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    • Profile picture of the author OnlineMasterMind
      i think you have a good offer - and i'd communicate that right away with a video (your videos are bad ass by the way)

      Make a video that see immediately up top - and have text like "Now you can have a video like this - for a price that will shock you...etc ...etc"

      that will spike conversions
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  • Profile picture of the author Li Weng
    The only way to measure if the copy sucks or not
    is CONVERSION. Copywriting is very practical and
    it doesn't matter what theorists say or analyze
    according to some copywriting principles, it's really
    what WORKS that matters.

    By the looks of it, your copy definitely does not suck
    because it's converting for you. Any copy that converts
    is good copy.
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    - Insert backlink here -

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