by gxwarr
17 replies
This is my first attempt at local affiliate marketing. Its actually a site I built for my friends concrete company. I wanted to see if I can get some reviews of my contact/sales page.

We have an agreement I will get a percentage of sales that I generate for him. Ive been doing some facebook advertising so far and the results are horrible. Lots of clicks but noone filled out the form yet. Ive had one contact from the site and he just called the number on the site. So any critiques would be great. Im new to this and not sure what to look for in a local sales page.
The landing page is Free Estimate | Schilder Concrete

Thanks, I can take the criticism!
#critique
  • Profile picture of the author jpf239
    Hi gxwarr,

    The website should do fine just the way it is, I would ad that you do know how to put together a more than adequate site.

    But for a sales page you would need to approach this based on demand, or your target market. I would spend time researching keywords and look for an outstanding drift in patterns, (currently heavily searched keywords)
    and secure a domain for that phrase and then create an optimized sales letter. Honestly though I don't think you need a sales letter, just do a little local marketing with ads in newspaper, direct mail, and what not, and point people to your site. Don't neglect to have a phone number in the ads of course but people like sites too.

    Try adding a short video of the expert doing a job, people like to see stuff you do in action but that's your call, I say the video on the site is a good idea. The guy holding the level and pen but not looking at what he is doing would not be my first choice in what to use for that photo.

    Cheers, Hope you succeed big

    Jon
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  • Profile picture of the author RickDuris
    Hi gxwarr,

    One question: Is your offer irresistible?


    No, it's not.


    It requires too much of a commitment initially. Kinda like when you're approached in a furniture store and a salesperson approaches and says "How can I help you today?"


    What's the typical response?

    Now, the question is what to offer. Hint: I'll bet it's an information product of some sort.


    Think fact finding and research. And start them off real easy. And make the content valuable.


    - Rick Duris
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  • Profile picture of the author gxwarr
    Thanks Jon and Rick. You make some good points. I do have experience building and putting together sites, its the local marketing part i need work in.
    Although im sure im on my way to being a master of the topic. Maybe an ebook or 2 in my future!
    Rick, do people usually write their own ebook or purchase them from a pro? It'll take some digging to even decide what the book should be about. Cleaning concrete? Choosing materials for the job? Im sure ill figure it out but I appreciate any help you people on here give. I love WarriorForum!
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    • Profile picture of the author RickDuris
      Originally Posted by gxwarr View Post

      Thanks Jon and Rick. You make some good points. I do have experience building and putting together sites, its the local marketing part i need work in.
      Although im sure im on my way to being a master of the topic. Maybe an ebook or 2 in my future!
      Rick, do people usually write their own ebook or purchase them from a pro? It'll take some digging to even decide what the book should be about. Cleaning concrete? Choosing materials for the job? Im sure ill figure it out but I appreciate any help you people on here give. I love WarriorForum!
      Hi gxwarr,

      eBooks can be outsourced and or they can written by you. There are several very good, reasonably priced flagship content writers who are probably listening in.

      Either way, you must: Make the offer truly irresistible.

      There are four ways you can determine that:

      1. Do the keyword research. See which keywords are "buy" keywords and highest volumes. And write the report with those in mind and from that angle.

      2. Interview company management and find out the attributes of "projects from h***" and write the report based upon their experience.

      3. Interview/survey real customers (and record and transcribe) and find out their initial fears and worries about selecting the right supplier and write the report around that.

      This one is gold--and they will give you gems. But it takes time. But now you have testimonials and success stories which you can weave into the content.

      4. Look at the websites of their competition and see how they are handling. But do not swipe--use only as a way to gather competitive knowledge about what's working.

      - Rick Duris
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  • Profile picture of the author BrianMcLeod
    Here's how the page renders in Safari (WebKit):

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    • Profile picture of the author gxwarr
      Yeah, thats how its suppoed to look...im going for an abstract thing.

      Ill look into fixing it...thanks!
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      http://www.gxwarr.com

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  • Profile picture of the author ivatel42
    Hi

    Just a couple of thoughts for you. The headline doesn't really cut it "Free Estimates" all of these sort of trades offer free estimates.

    Does your pal have a USP that makes them different to the rest of the local competition or could he be persuaded to create one?

    For example a better headline might include Best local price guarantee or we won't be beaten on price locally.

    A recent survey on local blockwork pricing shows we are more competitive than 98.4% of the competition. Of course don't lie but if you know or he does what the other tradesmen are likely to charge get specific and use the data! You need to engage your visitor right off the bat!

    I would get rid of that email (at sign) bit

    Site shows fine in Firefox.
    Good luck
    Lynne
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  • Profile picture of the author Daniel Scott
    I agree with Lynne to a point.

    Personally... I wouldn't compete on price.

    But I would maybe have some testimonials on there about how great your work is etc etc etc

    How you can you differentiate yourself from other concreters? What can you do in the free quote process that makes you better than them?

    Some food for thought.

    -Dan
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    • Profile picture of the author gxwarr
      Thanks a lot for the replies. I absolutely have some food for thought now. Im going to have to sit down with my friend and discuss these things.

      Yeah I didnt think the free-estimate was cutting it but wasnt sure what else to do. Thanks again!
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      http://www.gxwarr.com

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  • Profile picture of the author The Copy Nazi
    Banned
    I feel like I'm going insane when I read the comments that say "It's a good site". No its not. Its bloody ordinary. It offers nothing. The copy is cheesy. The photos terrible. The layout not much good either. Its a dead duck and it won't work.

    Sigh...I don't know where to start to help you. Why not just make a video showing your guys at work - and have some fun with it. Have a look at what they've done here - http://www.warriorforum.com/copywrit...ou-decide.html

    So show us what your team can do. Do what they do in that video above - introduce your team. Don't make it a complete joke. Interview some happy customers. Educate us on the finer points of concrete formwork, screeding, curing, vibrating - all that. Put a human face to it. Then on your site have a whole bunch of resources - "How to form up steps"..."How to build a crossover"..."how to pour concrete"..."What wheelbarrow to buy"..."a good kit of concrete trowels and essential tools". "What a concretor eats for lunch" ;-)

    You have an opportunity here to do something really good. Add another section on "Concrete disasters" - concrete going off too soon. Driveway in the wrong place. Concretors gold watch falling in the mix. The kids that walked all over your perfect paths overnight.

    But don't kid yourself that this is a good site. 'Cause its not. And the writing is dreadful.
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    • Originally Posted by Metronicity View Post

      I feel like I'm going insane when I read the comments that say "It's a good site". No its not. Its bloody ordinary. It offers nothing. The copy is cheesy. The photos terrible. The layout not much good either. Its a dead duck and it won't work.
      Finally someone speaketh the truth

      I would have to agree with Mr Nazi (you know they are still looking for you right?)

      If I were in the market for a concrete super hero and I came upon your site, click away & bye bye.

      Your site screams distrust.

      Redesign of everything imminent.
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    • Profile picture of the author Palo Coyote
      Malkie,
      I'm stealing this for my Carpet Cleaning Client....oh crud....did I just say that out loud?

      Mal, I've been dying to figure out some ideas for video of 'carpet cleaning' yes, I know, killer subject, should be easy, it's so exciting, yada, yada, yada, what are you a moron Marino, carpet cleaning is like Hollywood Cool.

      Just one question, How do I work in the girls with large....uh....carpets, and the uh, naked....floors that need to be cleaned? I've been told that is "THE #1 Way to get your YouTube Video to #1 on YouTube." It's in a WSO so I know it's true.

      Oh yeah, my carpet cleaning guy is short and bald and weighs in at 230, so not your 'hunk-o-rama-meat-market' looking kind of Carpet Cleaner, got any suggestions? (No we don't have budget to hire someone, it's this guy or Antonio, who as you know is an 'un-documented' person from South America who wants to live the American Dream and is now in Arizona where he will be stopped for having a broken tail light, (even thought all the lights work) and deported to Viet Nam.) So look, it's Gordon, short and fat, or nothing, you got a work around for that?

      I know this is a 'little' off subject but is it OK if we title the Video, "Darth Vader Might Be Gay...But He Want's to Clean Your Carpet." ? Am I reaching there?

      Since I am stealing your idea I owe you a bottle of fine French wine, HEY! You're in France, go get a bottle, on me, send the bill to FrankKern#paypal.com, we'll get ya paid soon. I think we do accounts payable on the 32nd and 44th of the full moon.

      All the best to you and all the French People,
      Palo

      See Below for Stolen Idea!

      OH YEAH, just to keep this post on topic....Concrete Web Site Guy: My Dad did concrete work, it's manual labor, which in this day and age is not as cool as being the CEO of General Motors (ooops that guy got fired, my bad) anyway, it's hard work....however, when my Dad instructed me in it (he laid our patio and I helped) he showed me the many, and I mean MANY steps it takes to do it correctly, so the concrete doesn't flake, so it only cracks a little bit (Dad said, "All concrete Cracks, it's the nature of it.") and so that it was FLAT. OH YES, it had to 'flow' and 'drain' in the correct direction so our house did not get flooded, and finally, It Had to Look Nice. It took him a long time to make all those factors come together.....do you know about 'air bubbles' in concrete, I know they are bad and My Dad showed me how to get most of them OUT of the concrete so it would last a long time. If your concrete clients do more than just 'dump' concrete inside a form and flatten it out...you've got some unique ideas that your client can capitalize (as in make money) on! Got for it Concrete Web Site Guy, go forth and do good stuff!




      Originally Posted by Metronicity View Post

      Sigh...I don't know where to start to help you. Why not just make a video showing your guys at work - and have some fun with it. Have a look at what they've done here - http://www.warriorforum.com/copywrit...ou-decide.html

      So show us what your team can do. Do what they do in that video above - introduce your team. Don't make it a complete joke. Interview some happy customers. Educate us on the finer points of concrete formwork, screeding, curing, vibrating - all that. Put a human face to it. Then on your site have a whole bunch of resources - "How to form up steps"..."How to build a crossover"..."how to pour concrete"..."What wheelbarrow to buy"..."a good kit of concrete trowels and essential tools". "What a concretor eats for lunch" ;-)

      You have an opportunity here to do something really good. Add another section on "Concrete disasters" - concrete going off too soon. Driveway in the wrong place. Concretors gold watch falling in the mix. The kids that walked all over your perfect paths overnight.
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      • Profile picture of the author jpf239
        Hi gxwarr,

        If you still read this thread after all that I still say the site can and will get you calls just the way it was when I first saw it. The reason I said that is becaust I have a home maintenance site that isn't much better and I still get work from it locally, regularly. Ok sometimes it's slow but it
        works.

        You do have food for thought though, people still look in the yellow pages and on Google local to get what you offer on that site, if you go all out that could also not be good, people don't want to think you are expensive, just something above a yellow page ad will sell.

        A lot of my customers tell me that they went through the yellow pages but to other co didn't answer or something then they found my listing on google, no site needed.

        Jon
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  • Profile picture of the author Dainis
    The template is messed up in Safari on Mac and may be in other browsers as well. I don't really see any copy at all. The background is dirt and not concrete.

    Metronicity makes some great, I mean great suggestions, though I would not go as far as bestdeveloper...because even with a crappy website, you can get jobs doing concrete.

    Let your customers tell you what they would want to see on your website. Do all the things Metronicity suggests, fix your theme, and start testing other lead magnets besides free estimates.

    Make your customers laugh with a disaster video...that would be funny. Keep it short and direct everything to the sale.
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    • Profile picture of the author Collette
      gxwarr - You've got to look at the site as a complete entity instead of looking at just the free estimate page.

      Putting aside - for the moment - the fact that you have no offer, you've given the prospect absolutely NO reason to hire you or to choose you. No testimonials, no guarantee, no certifications, no visible proof of your expertise. Nada.

      Worse, you haven't even defined who your prospect IS.

      Please don't tell me it's anyone who "needs any type of masonry work done". It's not.

      It's homeowners or property owners who want the benefits of the kind of masonry work you do, and who have the budget to afford to hire you to do it.

      But - since this site doesn't define who that is, or what those benefits are, the prospect has no idea if you're right for him.

      Moving on to why the "offer" isn't converting: You haven't given the prospect enough information to convince them to take you up on your offer.

      What do you think any prospect is going to do when they land on this squeeze? BEFORE they pony up their personal info for a sales call? (Because, don't think anyone doesn't understand that "free estimate" translates in real time to: "sales call").

      Answer: They're going to check you out.

      That means they're going to look through your site to see why, and if, they should hire you to fulfil their desires.

      And, what are their desires? (hint: It 'ain't a free estimate.)

      Ponder upon this for a moment. Because...

      ...Nobody wants concrete. Nobody. They want a secure foundation; a stunning driveway; sturdy steps; a breathtaking patio to entertain on.

      The LAST thing they want is... frickin' concrete.

      Yet, that's pretty much what your site is offering. Concrete.

      Interest-wise, that's about as boring as it gets.

      Never assume that, because what you're selling is mundane, it is boring or mundane to the prospect.

      [insert industry self-serving promo here:] This is what a GOOD copywriter does - finds the sexy in even the most mundane.

      You're trying to make one page do all the heavy lifting. And, as you've discovered, that doesn't work so good, yo. Every page on your site should sell what you got to offer. Every. Single. Page.

      Hope this helps.
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  • Profile picture of the author Nicola Lane
    Damn Collette, you beat me to it!
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  • Profile picture of the author Zentech
    It's not bad, but it's a bit tame. I see nowhere that you're really making a strong effort to close the deal. If you don't appear to want to close the deal, the customer certainly won't.

    The layout and all of that is pretty decent, and the copy is informative, if not electrifying. But doesn't it need to be the latter as well, at least at certain points? I'd say yes, but it's your call.

    If I needed masonry work, I'd probably contact this outfit for a quote. But "probably" isn't the same as "I'd be tripping over myself to do so."

    I know that in this "no nonsense" niche, you don't want to go overboard with the hype and pushy tactics, so I can see why you've been a bit understated. Even so, a little more bold, a little more positioning, and a little more selling wouldn't kill you.

    This is a decent site, but by no means a really powerful one.
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