Need to improve sales copy for an ebay item. Help!
I need some suggestions on improving the sales copy for this acne treatment cream that's on sale on ebay. It wasn't written by myself. What I'd like to do is to improve the conversion rate and maybe increase the price for it.
I normally go for the conversational approach myself, as in writing the sales copy as if I'm having a chat with the customer. I was wondering if you could critique the sales copy I'm thinking of using:
It bothers you doesn't it?
Your getting fed up wasting your money on expensive creams that don't work aren't you?
If I could give you an inexpensive acne cream that's guaranteed to clear up your skin and boost your confidence and sense of wellbeing.. that would be great wouldn't it?
Well let me tell you a secret...
Here's a cream that, for the price of a meal at mcdonalds, will give you a significant improvement in the condition of your skin wiithin 7 days!
This is a rock solid guarantee and if you're not absolutely 100% happy you'll get your money back
Got sensitive skin? No worries this cream is specially formulated for senstive skin and works without irritating your skin.
This cream works on Acne, Pimples, Blackheads, Spots, Whiteheads and will leave your skin looking healthy and clear.
You do want healthy and clear skind don't you?
If the answer is yes and you want it quickly press the buy it now button RIGHT NOW!
- A fantastic improvement to your skin normally within just seven days.
- A cream that will rid you of blackheads, whiteheads, pimples, spots and acne.
- A cream that will make your skin look better, will make you feel better, and will make your skin feel clear and look healthy.
â Melanie (RD)
Weight loss/fitness marketers earn 75% per sale with... The Fat Reversal Formula
Join me: Twitter and Facebook
Need help building your reputation as a single person, business owner? I can help by teaching consistency in simplicity for building your better business reputation.
Join my free business mindset group on facebook
â Melanie (RD)
Weight loss/fitness marketers earn 75% per sale with... The Fat Reversal Formula
Join me: Twitter and Facebook
Need help building your reputation as a single person, business owner? I can help by teaching consistency in simplicity for building your better business reputation.
Join my free business mindset group on facebook