Humbly requesting some eyeballs and a little feedback on site copy

6 replies
Hey everyone,

I recently got involved in copywriting and content marketing (8 months now I think) and I've been working to refine the skills, devour books, hit up webinars, etc - put my time in and learn as I go.

I'm doing well with clients and I get a fair amount of traffic and clients through my site but I feel like it could still be improved. I've been over the copy on my main page about a dozen times now trying to tweak it and it's come a long way thus far.

I feel good about the latest update I did to the main page and I'm getting ready to do a big linkbuilding/SEM push. Before I kick things off I was wondering if I could hobnob a little here and get some feedback on the main page copy. Before I update the rest the of the content within on services I want to make sure this copy is solid.

From watching previous reviews I know I'll get good honest replies, so I appreciate any (constructive) contributions in advance. Due to my diaper-status on the forum I can't post links here but the site link is down in my siggy.

Thanks again
#copy #eyeballs #feedback #humbly #requesting #site #site feedback
  • Profile picture of the author Zentech
    Hi Derek,

    My chief concern with your site is that I'm not sure what you're offering me. You seem to be trying to play two niches at once, which is an interesting approach, but I'm concerned about how it's going to work out.

    I suppose it's possible that "SEO copywriting" is exactly what I'm looking for as a prospect. Maybe I'm wanting to find a middle ground between copy tweaked to convert and copy tweaked to please Google.

    However, it's much more likely that I'm not.

    The far greater chance is that I'm looking for either/or. Sure, if you can write me high-converting sales copy that gets along with Google, all the better. However, if I'm looking for conversions, then that's primarily what I care about. What Google thinks is a much lesser concern than whether my traffic is converted.

    And that creates a problem.

    Why? Because now I'm worried that you're going to be thinking about SEO while writing copy that needs to be completely focused on sales. I'm worried that conversions are going to suffer because something was written with SEO in mind when it should have been written with sales in mind.

    Unfortunately, the same is true from an SEO standpoint. If SEO is my primary concern, then I want pure SEO that generates floods of traffic. If you can work some persuasion in there or sell something along the way, all the better - but I wouldn't want you trying to play both niches at once. If selling is the priority, then sell. If SEO is the priority, then do SEO.

    The trouble is that it may be difficult to convince the reader that both can be done simultaneously without watering one or the other down. If your goal is to make that your USP, then best of luck, as I'd say it will be a tough nut to crack.

    Personally, I'd offer copywriting and SEO services separately, and pitch each very differently.

    I'm not an expert in SEO, so I can't address that side of it. As for copywriting, I see very little in your current materials that convinces me you're a top-notch copywriter ready and able to deliver me conversions.

    I see a lot about SEO and how Google is going to like copy you write, but I may not care a whole lot whether Google loves my Clickbank sales page. Sure, it helps, but if I'm a typical marketer, I'm probably sending my own streams of traffic from my list or PPC or whatever else. I want that traffic converted, and that's really all I care about.

    My question as a prospect for copywriting services is, where's the evidence that you can do that for me? Where's your killer copywriting sales pitch? I see a sort of broad-spectrum, jack of all-trades pitch, but I don't see much relating to my needs as a prospect for standard, straight-out copywriting.

    Maybe "SEO copywriting" is your USP, and maybe it can work for you. I won't say that it can't, but I do know that if I were looking for either copywriting or SEO, I'd go to someone who does only those things rather than somebody who claims to be able to do both at once.

    Hope this has helped.

    -Z
    Signature
    * Stupid Offer: Killer Sales Letters ***$897*** Just For Warriors. Ethical Clients & Legit Products Only. *
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  • Profile picture of the author travlinguy
    Okay, I'll start.

    You've got some talent as a writer. You're able to easily make your point. Your writing flows pretty well. That's not to say you can't do better. We all can do better.

    The thing with your stuff is this: I don't know what you're talking about. This might seem to conflict with my opening comments but it doesn't really because I can tell that you know what you're talking about.

    Let me get specific. You bring up Website copywriting and SEO copywriting. I've never heard these terms before. Copywriting already has a definition. There's Web copy. Then there's SEO-oriented copy or content. But I'm truly at a loss with the terms you're using.

    Copywriting is designed to get the reader to part with money in exchange for a product or service. Period. You've put two different adjectives in front of the word and I don't understand what you're selling. That might not be so bad because maybe you're targeting your message to people who don't know what copywriting is.

    But if any of your potential clients do know, you're going to come across as someone who doesn't know. What I'm saying is, I think you're mixing the concept of Web copy, more specifically, Web content and confusing the issue by calling it Web copywriting. And as for SEO copywriting, fuggetaboutit! You're either writing to get the sale or you're writing to impress the crawlers. There's an old saying, chase two rabbits and you'll lose them both.

    If you're trying to get people to hire you to write sales stuff, just say so. Tell them you're a copywriter. End of story. And if you're trying to get people to hire you to write SEO content, call it content. Good luck.
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  • Profile picture of the author Daniel Scott
    D,

    I echo what the others have said.

    I'll also say that as a copywriter, your sales page has to be damn good - it's your resume.

    And yours needs a lot of work.

    Where's the testimonials? The empathy? The credibility? Etc, etc etc...

    There's a lot missing from this page, and what's there is kind of hap-hazard and schizophrenic.

    At the moment, you strike me as a guy who doesn't know anything about copywriting... and that's (obviously) not the impression you want to make.

    Pick up some books listed in the sticky and figure out what your page is missing - then try again.

    -Dan
    Signature

    Always looking for badass direct-response copywriters. PM me if we don't know each other and you're looking for work.

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    • Profile picture of the author DCromwell
      Originally Posted by Daniel Scott View Post

      D,

      I echo what the others have said.

      I'll also say that as a copywriter, your sales page has to be damn good - it's your resume.

      And yours needs a lot of work.

      Where's the testimonials? The empathy? The credibility? Etc, etc etc...

      There's a lot missing from this page, and what's there is kind of hap-hazard and schizophrenic.

      At the moment, you strike me as a guy who doesn't know anything about copywriting... and that's (obviously) not the impression you want to make.

      Pick up some books listed in the sticky and figure out what your page is missing - then try again.

      -Dan
      Dan,

      Huge thanks for that, I appreciate the honesty and yeah I recognize that I still need a lot of work. I took your advice and dove into the sticky thread about the books (quite the list there) and I've got Scientific Advertising and The Robert Collier Letter Book coming at me now.

      I've already been plucking my way through the Halbert newsletter Archives. Good stuff all around. Thanks again for your review
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  • Profile picture of the author DCromwell
    Zentech and Travlin guy - I really appreciate the replies. You both make very similar points on the target market and what I'm doing and I can see your perspective on it after reading the posts.

    I'll admit when I first started one of the first things I did was put the website up while doing research and reading. I selected that "niche" based on keyword research because the competition vs search seemed to be in a workable range and there are folks operating in the market "SEO Copywriting". Heather LLoyd Martin for example.

    I hadn't really thought of it as being a USP when I first got into this and haven't done much to update the concept I suppose. It seemed to be working up to this point so I hadn't considered there to be an issue but you both make really good points about "splitting hares"

    rum bum bum.

    Travlinguy, thank you for the compliment on the writing - having talent recognized always creates warm fuzzies. I'll certainly consider the keyphrase I'm using to identify myself and the work I'm doing. Granted, business has been good at this point but I'm pretty sure it could be better. My issue may very well be that I'm just confusing people.

    Thanks gents, plenty of food for thought.
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  • Profile picture of the author Daniel Scott
    NP.

    You can write... that's obvious.

    You just need to work on selling with your writing... and clarity in communicating and organizing your ideas.

    PROTIP: Always work off outlines.

    (and a cookie to anyone who gets that reference...)

    -Dan
    Signature

    Always looking for badass direct-response copywriters. PM me if we don't know each other and you're looking for work.

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