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Need A Long Copy Critique Please

by LR
8 replies
Hi All

Great forum, I have learnt a lot reading all the fantastic advice.

I need some help on a long copy that I have been tweaking for a while. I need some new eyes and fresh input, I think I can no longer see the forest for the trees.

it's for a stroke rehab handbook that I wrote

strokerehabonline.com/the-stroke-rehab-handbook-download-resource/

sorry for the no link, I'm a newbie.

Thanks
LR
#copy #critique #long
  • Profile picture of the author Andrew Gould
    Link is:

    Stroke Rehabilitation Handbook Guide | Stroke Rehabilitation Exercises

    I'm afraid this is only a short copy critique:

    Your ecover catches the eye first rather than your headline, making it apparent you're selling something for 30 bucks. Depending on your traffic source this might put a lot of people off straightaway.

    Your deck copy doesn't flow into the lead.

    Use real photos for your testimonials, not stock pics. In fact, having read through them are they even genuine?

    What's neuroplasticity?

    To put it bluntly the entire page needs restructuring and rewriting and it needs a massive injection of credibility.
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    Andrew Gould

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  • Profile picture of the author getlandersgetpaid
    Chuck in a few more call to actions too, and break it up into sections with headers. Its too text intensive at the moment.

    Read this its an excellent start point:

    http://www.conversion-rate-experts.c...oz-case-study/
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    >>>Convert The Mobile Market With Responsive Landing Page Templates
    <<<     PPV Landing Pages From Responsivelanders.com
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    • Profile picture of the author LR
      Great!!
      Thanks for the comments guys.

      Is it even worth having photos in the testimonials?

      thanks
      LR
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      • Profile picture of the author Andrew Gould
        Originally Posted by LR View Post

        Is it even worth having photos in the testimonials?
        Definitely, just make sure they're real.
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        Andrew Gould

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  • Profile picture of the author RentItNow
    I would have pretty well said what Paul said. Headline sucks. Need hard copy options. My own pet peeve is the ugly 'old age home' header -- dump it.

    Actually sorry one more thing to add...the red order button, I would test a better button. Red subliminally means STOP. There is a button that a warrior here has tested to death but i cant think of the name of. Anyone?
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    I have no agenda but to help those in the same situation. This I feel will pay the bills.
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    • Profile picture of the author LR
      Thanks alot Andrew, Paul and John!!

      Really appreciate it.

      I will look into lulu and get a new button.

      And rewriting the headings.

      Any suggestions for the other content?

      Thanks
      LR
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  • Profile picture of the author LR
    cheers for the button link mark!
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