After the incredible feedback I received from you with my first attempt at a sales letter I am posting my "new and improved" letter for your review.
I incorporated much of the advice that was offered to me so generously in an earlier post.
Please let me know if you have any suggestions on how I can improve this sales letter.
I attached a pdf of the letter so you can see formatting.
Here is the letter.
"I want you to find a way to make it impossible for me to ever think about taking my car somewhere else for service."
This challenge came to me from a very loyal Everest customer. Sadly her statement was made immediately following her need for an engine replacement after a visit to a quick lube shop. She didn't know it at the time but she gifted me with the motivation to develop an exclusive customer benefit that will completely change the entire concept of car care as you know it.
Better, Quicker, Cheaper And Easier Car Care
Car Care 2.0
Just Imagine Being Able To:
- Eliminate the worry of an unexpected car break down
- Forget about the dread of huge and unpredictable repair bills
- Easily budget for all of your car care expenses
- Always drive a vehicle that is perfectly maintained and reliable
- Spend less time at the repair shop and more time getting to where you need to go
...And that's just for starters!
I Know A Shop Using A Similar Concept For Years With A Near 100% Member Renewal Rate And A 10 Year Waiting List. The Only Way A Spot Opens Up Is If A Member Moves Or Passes Away!
And Not Only That, But:
- Members get all their car care COVERED 100%. All parts and fluids, all labor and all diagnostics
- Members SAVE up to 20% on annual car care expenses
- Members get a 300,000 mile Limited Powertrain Warranty
- Members get FREE 24/7 Roadside Assistance - including towing
A Plan Like This Must Cost A Fortune, Right?
Domestic Vehicles: $995 Annually per enrolled vehicle
Aisan Vehicles: $995 Annually per enrolled vehicle
European Vehicles : $1395 Annually per enrolled vehicle
Members pay just one fee each year and get to put all of their car care worries and concerns on cruise control. When you add all of the maintenance and repair coverage and the total peace of mind of knowing your vehicle is always in perfect running condition this program is the deal of a lifetime!
"Is there a catch?" Yes There Is A Catch And Here It Is...
People who sign up for this exclusive group will recieve the following items
with their paid membership:
Your membership kit will contain a member sticker for your rear window, a custom key chain, a contract outlining your benefits in more detail, access to a members-only website and (if I can make it happen in time) a very special surprise.#2:Exclusivity
This is an invitation only program. Unless your friends and neighbors are currently loyal Everest AutoWorks customers they will not have the opportunity to join this program. In fact, I urge you to downplay your member benefits because if others find out what you have then you can be sure there is going to be some extreme jealousy when they find out they can't have what you have. #3:NASCAR Ride and Drive Tickets valued at $595!
2 tickets will be up for grabs for new members. A drawing will be held in August for a seat behind the wheel of a real NASCAR race car. Winners will get to drive at speeds up to 160MPH around Pocono Raceway in Pennsylvania. Of course a rush like this is not for everyone so winners can give the tickets away as a very valuable and special gift.
You will love being a Car Care 2.0 Member - OR I WILL REFUND 100% of your membership fees!
Only 200 memberships are available and we expect interest in this program to be very high. Memberships will be issued on a first come first served basis. Please read the enclosed pamphlet for instructions on signing up and reserve your spot as soon as you can. In the interest of fairness all invitations were mailed at the same time on the same day.
Sincerely, Christian Porter - Owner
P.S. My goal with this new program is to make car care so stress-free and effortless that it will be impossible for you to ever consider taking your car anywhere else for service. Years from now I suspect you will wonder how you ever lived with the old car care process.
P.S.S. DO NOT WORRY if your membership request is too late or you have no interest in joining. Everest will still provide the same honest and dependable car care for you that we always have. Non-members will not be treated any differently than they already are. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO BE A CAR CARE 2.0 MEMBER TO CONTINUE HAVING YOUR VEHICLE SERVICED AT EVEREST.