Copy Critique - Please Tell Me When You're Bored...

Hi Guys,

Here is a story for biz-opps. Could you guys tell me where you get bored?

Thanks,

Coz.

Dear Wealth Seeker,

The following is a true story.

It started with a little known, but very powerful secret for making tremendous amounts of wealth on the Internet.

The man who discovered this powerful secret is named John. I'm sorry I can't give you his last name... he swore me to secrecy and besides... once word gets out about this... everybody's gonna want to track him down and thank him.

First things first. There are two interesting things you should know about John.

Interesting Fact #1: John has worked his tail off for the past five years building highly profitable websites.

Interesting Fact #2. These websites currently make John well over $500 on complete autopilot.

How Automated Can His Profits Be?
John Puts It To The Test...

John decides to take the year off to pursue his dream: diving the entire Great Barrier Reef in Australia.

Now... most 'normal' people such as ourselves would want to keep an eye on our income, right?

Not John.

In fact, he became absolutely indifferent to his business, and focused his efforts on spearfishing instead. He dove into the crystal clear waters every day, and partied like a rock star at the small island bars.

Now we fast forward
twelve months...

John is ready to come home in the Florida Keys.

He decides then and there... after a full 12 months abroad living his dream... that he will look at his earnings for the past year.

If there aren't any, he will start over.

After all, he hasn't touched anything in an entire year.

And so... without a moment's hesitation... John opens the laptop, accesses his accounts and notes his annual earnings.

As you already know, John was earning a pleasant $500 a day before leaving for Australia. And now... after an entire year of white sands, beautiful women, and more Aussie beer than he could handle... John is now earning...

An average of $677 a day!

At this precise moment John had what alcoholics refer to as a 'moment of clarity'. In this moment John discovered two powerful lessons:

Powerful lesson #1: Making money on auto-pilot is possible, and...

Powerful lesson #2: He knows how to do it.

Now... I hope you're beginning to understand my excitment. Despite the professional nature of this letter, I am indeed VERY excited about what I feel is the safest, surest path to making BOATLOADS of cash without working.

Back to our story. Perhaps John took this secret to his grave. Perhaps he stayed in Australia and decided to live out his days chasing beautiful long legged Australian women. Perhaps he would have married, settled down and wrote his memoirs from a tropical island in Thailand.

Perhaps he thought about it. But if he acted on it... then I wouldn't be writing this letter to you now, would I?

The truth is... John decided on NONE of them. He returned back to Key West and lived quietly for several years.

He played poker, went jet-skiing, laid out on the beach, went to several 'clothing optional' bars, and lived an otherwise quiet life.

But underneath the calm surface...

...there were terrible, violent waves of emotion going on inside John's soul, breaking to get free.

And if it wasn't for a strange, late-night phone call... well, John may never have found peace and you wouldn't be reading this letter.

This late-night phone call came from... me.

Allow me to introduce myself: My name is Mike Dunford. I'm sort of like an amateur 'private eye'. And until that life-changing phone call, I wanted to be an investigative journalist.

But enough about me. I'm here today to tell you about...

An Amateur Sleuth's
Startling Discovery...

One night the phone rang. It was an old friend of my father, who now lived in Florida. My father died in 2003, so it was nice to share stories with someone who knew him from 'back in the day'.

Towards the end of the phone call -- about four hours and a few beers later -- he told me about a secret, underground group of millionaires living on the Florida coast.

But these weren't your 'usual' millionaire types.

They didn't care about fame. They didn't care about power. And above all... they didn't want their names or their businesses revealed to the public.

Why? Because these millionaires were like experienced fisherman. They knew the best 'fishing holes' for making boatloads of cash in the shortest time. And if their fishing holes were discovered... well... they'd be up sh#t creek without a paddle...

Now at first I didn't believe him... until he told me he was one of them! (...and quickly proved it by revealing two simple money-making secrets I had NEVER heard of before!)

I was dying to find out more, but the old guy was pretty tired.

'Besides,' he said, 'You'd learn a lot more from my buddy anyways. Let me call him and see if he'll talk to you.'

Five minutes later he called back. He said...

'OK, he'll talk to you. Call (305) 985 - xxxx in exactly one hour from now. He is expecting your call.'

'And what should I call him?' I asked.

'You can call him John...'

That phone call changed my life in many ways.

John related his story about spending the year in Australia, and his return to Florida.

He told me about his business, which continued to dump cash into his bank account... on good days and bad... without him lifting a finger.

After taking a year off, John realized he had been doing it the hard way. So he went back to the drawing board, tore his system apart and put it together piece by piece until it worked perfectly.

Now, instead of doing the manual work himself, his system runs quietly in the background. In fact, John revealed that he used to be happy making over $670 a day, but now... with his new system in place he's making...

Over $4,000 A Day
On Autopilot!

John spends his days laying on the beach, eating delicious foods at his favorite restaurants, and basically doing whatever he feels like.

'This sounds great' I thought to myself. 'I wish I could live like that'.

John must have read my mind. Because he said...

'Mike, I'm thinking about releasing my system to the public... so anyone can make money from the Internet. Would you like to be my case study? If it works, I want you to write about your experience and share it with others. Can you do that for me?'

Whew. I couldn't believe my luck! Here was a VERY rich man who was willing to show me how to do the same!

My hand started sweating.

I gripped the phone
and said...

'John, if I can make a tenth as much as you do, I'll tell the world about it... heck, I'll even write a book about it!'

And so John became my mentor.

I was expecting it to be hard work, but it really wasn't. John had planned it all out and automated nearly everything.

I had never used a computer for anything besides email, but that didn't matter either. I just had to push a few buttons here and there and John's system did all the work for me.

I was nervous about keeping up. I thought John must be a genius, and... well... I never graduated from college.

Actually, I never went to college.

But John already did the thinking for me. He took something complicated and made it easy, like sending an email.

From that day on, my life changed dramatically.

Within my first week I had earned an incredible $567 and it took less than 45 minutes to set up.

Within the second week I made $789... then $1,034... then $1,537... and now... just a few months later... I'm making...

Close to $17,500 A Week!