8 {{ upvoteCount | shortNum }}
8 {{ upvoteCount | shortNum }}

Critique Needed for PreSale

by Ronak Shah
7 replies
Hi,

I need a critique for the presell.

Resdermatrol - Skin Care Products That Work!

Please feel free to point out the changes needed.

Thanks.

Ronak.
#critique #needed #presale
  • Profile picture of the author Irish Intuition
    Wow, I hate to be negative but that is real bad.

    I tried to find some good pages on this out there, but they all
    are pretty bad.

    This one is a little worse than the others mostly because of how
    the page looks. I would not ingest anything being sold there.

    There is a lot of competition and this will need to be a lot better,
    from top to bottom.

    Hopefully I do not offend
    Signature




    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2593020].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Warren.Richards
    Hey Ronak,

    Increase font size for the bullet points. You also need to press emotional buttons of your prospect to make them buy your product.

    You sales copy was too brief. The video just ended when the speaker was going to reveal whether the product will work on humans or not.

    I'm still confused what are you trying to sell. Is it a cream that you are selling or some any membership. What do I need to subscribe for

    you offer says use the promotional code and get the cream for $0.95s/h....what does it means?

    Reveal your price after you break it up. Tell me how soon will I be benefited. Tell me what is the difference between your product and your competitor's.

    It is a good start.

    P.S: Dont forget to remind your prospect about his problems and then offer them the solution to get rid of their problem.


    Hope this will help you.

    Regards
    Warren.
    Signature
    Email CopywriTer
    FREE HIRE For 2 WEEKS
     See The Monies Roll In

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2593074].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Andrew Gould
    Hi Ronak,

    There's a much bigger problem than the copy...

    You're preselling ResDermatrol, but when I click-thru I'm taken to a page offering Hydrolyze.

    That won't be what your leads are expecting and will wreck your conversion.

    I'd get that sorted before you fine-tune the copy.
    Signature

    Andrew Gould

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2593107].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Daniel Scott
    The point of a presell is to build trust and rapport.

    You have a bad sales page. It doesn't do either of those things. It doesn't presell either.

    Seriously Ronak... how long did you spend on this? I'm betting less than an hour. It's shoddy work and we both know you can do better.

    -Dan
    Signature

    Always looking for badass direct-response copywriters. PM me if we don't know each other and you're looking for work.

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2595979].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Vincenzo Oliva
    Your headline format is a mess. The first thing you notice is the overuse of highlighting.
    Use a pre-head intro, the red headline, and maybe highlight only the subhead.

    If you're throwing in trust factors like 60 minutes and CBS you need to find their logos to benefit from it (google them).

    Your bullets are not really benefit driven:

    Prevents the formation of new lines & wrinkle (keeping your youthful appearance)

    Helps you get a healthier more youthful look. (your friends and family will be amazed)

    Combats one of the main causes of cellular aging. (which is?)

    Boosts collagen production. (naturally smoothing your appearance)

    Helps increase your lifespan. (this is an FCC red flag remove this or trouble awaits.)


    Better call to action "Click Here To Start Looking Younger TODAY!"
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2596582].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Bruce NewMedia
    Aside from the questionable copy, I definitely would at least try and match the STYLE and fonts and colors of the actual landing page you're linked to. It's way too jarring to go from your very "in your face" presell to the much more sophisticated main page.
    _____
    Bruce
    Signature
    Get Offline Clients With NO Resistance!-CLICK HERE
    POWER LETTERS Get Offline Appointments
    These Email Templates Land You Great Clients!
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2599474].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Greg Stack
    Hey Ronak,
    As you continue to work and improve, it may help you to start out with a template. It will help guide you a bit to obtain a more professional look. The copy is a different matter, but at least using a professionally designed template or page will help.

    Good luck and keep going!!
    Signature
    SuperStoreEmpire -Quickly create a network of automated stores or pages for your existing site(s) for you or your clients. No Inventory, Shipping, or Cost! Includes ClickBank Stores. WSO $7.97

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2599728].message }}

Trending Topics