Review of my salespage VIDEO please!

6 replies
Hey warriors

I've literally just put this video together and slapped in on my salespage here:

Readymade Niche Affiliate Blogs

I'm wondering if you would so kindly offer some feedback as I'm new to videos on salespages and would love to know how I could improve or if I've missed any key points on here.

Thanks in advance for your much appreciated advice!

Anthony
#review #salespage #video
  • Profile picture of the author Daniel Scott
    Anthony,

    IMHO... it needs a lot of work.

    It doesn't arouse curiosity... which you desperately need in the IM market.

    It's also very dry and dull. There's no real talk of the pain or the benefits your product solves.

    Essentially... you're selling the steak when you should be selling the sizzle.

    You say it's designed to convert visitors into buyers... but you have no proof. I'm not seeing any testimonials or proof shots to add to your credibility.

    You also mention you pay $820 for the content. I'm no math wizard but it ain't hard to see you're making serious bank on this.

    That's fine... good for you... but if I were you I wouldn't shout to the whole world just how much cash you're making through this offer.

    These are just a few problems that jump out at me.

    In short... I think the whole thing needs a re-do.

    Sorry dude.

    -Dan
    Signature

    Always looking for badass direct-response copywriters. PM me if we don't know each other and you're looking for work.

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    • Profile picture of the author Anthony Hull
      Cheers Dan

      I've re-done it now, please could you see if this is any better?

      Thanks!

      Anthony
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  • Profile picture of the author J. Barry Mandel
    Hi Anthony,


    I did not play the whole video, but saw enough to be able decipher:
    1. All depending how you're getting your traffic you have not made as good a case as possible for your product. If you can't keep your viewers around then you won't be able to get them to spend their money either
    2. Where's all of your excitement if you have such a great product? You sound pretty smooth, but that doesn't get attention and more importantly KEEP attention
    3. The PPT slides themselves could be better planned out in accordance to what you say. The formatting can be vastly improved
    4. The way that you use the PPT can also be better by setting up your viewers. You want them to want to hang on to your EVERY word so they they are starving for more information.

    Best of Luck,


    Justin
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    • Profile picture of the author Anthony Hull
      Hey Justin,

      Thank you for the feedback

      I wondered if you could elaborate on your points and provide some specific actions you think I should take to improve upon what you have picked up on?

      1) I have not made a good case...how can I best do that?
      2) Where's all excitement.. do you mean my voice needs to sound more excited or add something else?
      3) PPT slides improved... you mean different backgrounds/effects ? The font and formatting looks ok to me?
      4) The way that I setup viewers... again, please be a little more specific about what you mean and what steps you think I need to take to improve on this.

      Many thanks for your help!

      Anthony


      Originally Posted by Justin Mandel View Post

      Hi Anthony,


      I did not play the whole video, but saw enough to be able decipher:
      1. All depending how you're getting your traffic you have not made as good a case as possible for your product. If you can't keep your viewers around then you won't be able to get them to spend their money either
      2. Where's all of your excitement if you have such a great product? You sound pretty smooth, but that doesn't get attention and more importantly KEEP attention
      3. The PPT slides themselves could be better planned out in accordance to what you say. The formatting can be vastly improved
      4. The way that you use the PPT can also be better by setting up your viewers. You want them to want to hang on to your EVERY word so they they are starving for more information.

      Best of Luck,


      Justin
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  • Profile picture of the author coachoutletono
    Banned
    [DELETED]
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  • Profile picture of the author Scott Murdaugh
    Hey Anthony,

    I don't see a video, but I checked out the sales letter.

    Here's what I'm not sold on. Why would I want to pay for blogs that ~200 other people a week get access to?

    If everyone has the same keyword report and content than we'll just be competing with each other.

    That kills the value of the offer for me, and you don't address it anywhere in the copy.

    Maybe if I buy traffic I can make money. I could see value there. But I don't see any evidence of anyone making money with this.

    The sales letter talks a whole lot about the blogs I'll get and not at all about why I'd want them in the first place.

    I know it's not the critique you're looking for, but if the video doesn't address this stuff it's going to cause problems.

    Good luck.

    -Scott
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    Over $30 Million In Marketing Data And A Decade Of Consistently Generating Breakthrough Results - Ask How My Unique Approach To Copy Typically Outsells Traditional Ads By Up To 29x Or More...

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  • Profile picture of the author yenni
    It is well put together but I feel it falls into a cliche style of sales videos..... this style makes me and I am sure others instantly know it's a sale pitch and ignore or turn away so maybe try some innovative and more intising styles?

    But good for you for asking and being so determined.... I like your style!
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