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Will this convert?

by rikkib51
11 replies
Hi All,

I just finished my sales letter for a new product I'm launching soon, but before I do anything I want to get your opinions on my sales letter.

www.salesletterblaster.com/index2.html

What are your thoughts?
What can be improved?


Looking forward to your responses.

Thanks
#convert
  • Profile picture of the author Evan-M
    might want to check you page, it loaded for me, but avast went into a frizzy saying a threat was detected/blocked.
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  • Profile picture of the author The Copy Nazi
    Banned
    Who else thinks this is ironic? You want our help...in writing a salesletter...for some software that writes salesletters. Even as you claim "You can now write your own professional, effective sales letters on your own in less than 1 hour".

    Hilarious.
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    • Profile picture of the author Hagbard Jones
      Originally Posted by Metronicity View Post

      Who else thinks this is ironic? You want our help...in writing a salesletter...for some software that writes salesletters. Even as you claim "You can now write your own professional, effective sales letters on your own in less than 1 hour".

      Hilarious.
      Makes a kind of sense to run it past the experts. But yeah, ideally, you'd like to see that effort a little earlier in the development process.
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  • Profile picture of the author BrianMcLeod
    Copywriters just charge ridicoulos prices.
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    Brian McLeod
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  • Profile picture of the author davemiz
    yeah they do... cause they help the cash register ring.
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    “Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.”
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  • Profile picture of the author Nathan Alexander
    I got a bunch of malware warnings from your site. That's not good...
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    • Profile picture of the author Rezbi
      Originally Posted by Nathan Alexander View Post

      I got a bunch of malware warnings from your site. That's not good...
      Same here.

      It's the waitaminute.jpg that seems to be the problem.
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  • Profile picture of the author Dean Jackson
    You also have testimonials from people in the War Room...

    Where you GAVE IT AWAY!???

    And then you expect people to pay you $67 for this?

    Mate...

    - Your subheads are weak

    - The software box looks cheesy.

    I could go on but that page gives me headaches.

    "Waallaaah!"

    That almost means "Honest to God" in Arabic... LMAO

    - Dean
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    • Profile picture of the author KEKilpatrick
      Originally Posted by Dean Jackson View Post

      You also have testimonials from people in the War Room...

      Where you GAVE IT AWAY!???

      And then you expect people to pay you $67 for this?



      "Waallaaah!"

      That almost means "Honest to God" in Arabic... LMAO

      - Dean
      X2, if you're going to use testimonials from people that you gave this to for free at least don't insult your prospect's intelligence by showing that you gave it to your fans for FREE...

      And I'm not a French major but I believe you meant to say Voila

      voi·là

      interj
      Definition of VOILÀ

      --used to call attention, to express satisfaction or approval, or to suggest an appearance as if by magic
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  • Profile picture of the author Daniel Scott
    Quite possibly some of the worst copy I've ever read.

    Congratulations on creating what is clearly a great product.

    -Dan
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    Always looking for badass direct-response copywriters. PM me if we don't know each other and you're looking for work.

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