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Copy Review - SEO Software

by doop
9 replies
I'm just about to release a new product - basically here is the simple run down:

It's a self-hosted script that lets you track the position of unlimited domains within Yahoo and Google search results for unlimited keywords.

It also comes with full step-by-step video instructions on installation and usage.

Here's the 1st revision of the salescopy I've got so far...

SERP Keyword Tracker

Alternatively if you'd like to see for yourself what the script can do you can try out a demo account at:

Login

It's my first product for the IM crowd - so any tips would be be great!!!

Hoping to get this up by the weekend!

Thanks.
#copy #review #seo #software
  • Profile picture of the author RickDuris
    While accurate, I think it misses the mark in several respects.

    1. The copy is weak. For instance:

    "If you're trying to get to #1 in Google, you absolutely need this software!"

    Why do I absolutely need it? Sounds kinda hyperbolic.

    2. I think you assume too much about the sophistication of the market. I think you have to simplify the explanation.

    Now, I'm not going to say the software isn't valuable. Because I think it could be.

    Now let me share a bit why I say that. I would be a buyer for your software. I had need for a piece of software that performs a function similar to yours. So much so, I had mine developed. The free programs didn't hit the mark.


    - Rick Duris

    PS: But the way I did it was way much simpler. It allowed me to submit a CSV-formatted spreadsheet with a 2 columns, one for the url and on for the keyword. This it went out and fetched the result and inserted it into the third column. Then it gave it back to me in a CSV-formatted file.

    All the MySQL is overkill I think.
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  • Profile picture of the author doop
    Thanks Rick,

    I appreciate the feedback!
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  • Profile picture of the author we_got_tops
    Shouldn't it be "..get to #1 in Google, then you absolutely need this software"? But I think that word could be omitted.

    I like the graphics you've included and it all looks very professional. I'm not sure if it's a valid opinion, but it sort of looks to me like the gray-ish font color makes it look a little dull. I might like to see something a little more sharp.

    I think the copy is good overall. I trust you'll add the price info in effectively when you make it available.

    Anyway, just a noob here throwing out his reaction.
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    • Profile picture of the author doop
      Originally Posted by we_got_tops View Post

      Shouldn't it be "..get to #1 in Google, then you absolutely need this software"? But I think that word could be omitted.

      I like the graphics you've included and it all looks very professional. I'm not sure if it's a valid opinion, but it sort of looks to me like the gray-ish font color makes it look a little dull. I might like to see something a little more sharp.

      I think the copy is good overall. I trust you'll add the price info in effectively when you make it available.

      Anyway, just a noob here throwing out his reaction.
      Thanks for the feedback! Interesting point about the font color.

      Price information will be added shortly!
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  • Profile picture of the author The Copy Nazi
    Banned
    I don't think the copy "weak" at all. Au contraire - this is one of the better sites we've reviewed. I like the layout/design of the page. Very clean. Nothing wrong with the font color.

    You could split-test some different headlines but I find the whole thing refreshingly clear of hype. I think you could add a dash of whimsy/humor to it though. Like a photo of a geeky-looking guy in a lab-coat "cooking" the serps or something. And ditch the "Dear Internet Marketer" cheesy opening. Say "Dude" or "Mate" or even "Dear SERPS Junkie". And re-write the copy as if you are describing the product to your best mate. Have a bit of fun with it. Like -

    Dude, how many times are you checking the SERPS? Come on, be honest. Six billion times a day I bet. And what are you using? One of those freebie programs that lag a few days or weeks behind? Don't you find them a pain-in-the-butt? They never give you an accurate SERPS position do they? Well hang on to your toupee Gomer. Look what I've made. How cool's this - I call it SERPS ON CRACK. Kidding. It actually goes by the name KEYWORD SERPS TRACKER. Yeah, bit boring but I don't want to scare anyone away. Tracking your SERPS is a serious business. Well it's life-or-death for us isn't it? (BTW don't like to brag but I've got one of my sites at #1/2/3 on Aussie Google. Beat that. I'm so freaked out that it's gonna slip that I'm drip-feeding it backlinks every day. It's making money already, too.
    Have a noice day mate. cheers, Mal.

    BTW your tool gave me an accurate SERPS on my main .com site but failed to get any results for a .com.au I have in #1/2/3 on Australian Google.
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    • Profile picture of the author doop
      Thanks for the feedback Metronicity!!!

      With your results - we have added a new option for which region your targeting - currently all searches are being made through Google/Yahoo's US servers which is why your probably not getting found.

      Don't worry though this option will be packaged up with the final release!

      Thanks again for the feedback!
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      • Profile picture of the author RickDuris
        Hi Mal,

        1. "refreshingly clear of hype" in *this* market = weak. I'm saying the copy is not compelling enough to get prospects to take action.

        2. The most likely of prospects would be:
        a. Those adwords folks buying dozens, hundreds or thousands of keywords against a few domains.

        b. Marketers logging tons of URLS on social media websites, like hubpages, squidoo, youtube, etc. Tracking organic links.

        c. The big time bloggers who have dozens/hundreds/thousands of (blog) domains/urls in a single niche hoping to drive organic traffic.
        He doesn't address any of those folks. For instance, he could say:

        This system is perfect for you if...

        [include better descriptions for the above people]

        Imagine getting a single report that...

        The copy is weak. You've got to know your market and nail their pain--managing 10's, 100's or 1000's of domains, URLs, keywords. It's a pain and a major blindspot (as well as a time suck) without a tool like this.

        ----------------------

        One, maybe two more things, doop:

        1. I would initially give away a free trial. 14 days. Put in some sort of clock and A/R sequence. Market Samurai does this quite effectively. In addition, most of the programs like this suck. There skepticism that it won't do the job.

        2. I think you're leaving money on the table by having unlimited entries. You could be implementing a bronze/silver/gold/platinum model.

        But as you course correct your marketing and get traction, I'm sure you'll look for ways to boost the revenues.

        - Rick Duris

        PS: doop, One thing I wish my program would is give me the ranking increase, either as a percentage against top position or prior run v. current run. Like as of last week I was #25. This week I'm number #14.

        Just a thought.
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  • Profile picture of the author The Copy Nazi
    Banned
    Definition of "hype" - "publicize in an exaggerated and often misleading manner". That's what I'm talking about. He doesn't need to do that. But yes - he could have more "compelling copy" - definitely. But he's got a good basis here. To me it reads "honest" not "bs". Your other suggestions should help him a lot. And he could use this line virtually as is -
    managing 10's, 100's or 1000's of domains, URLs, keywords. It's a pain and a major blindspot (as well as a time suck) without a tool like this.
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    • Profile picture of the author doop
      **UPDATE**

      Ok guys thanks for all the feedback - I've made a massive update and would love any new feedback.

      Thanks Again!!!
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