New Sales Page - Feedback Appreciated

4 replies
Hi Everybody,

We released a new article marketing product a couple of weeks back.

We also got some very helpful feedback from some copywriters on the forum regarding our sales page.

As a result we made many changes to our sales page.
It's located at: Article Toolbox

Any constructive criticism and suggestions for further improvement would be deeply appreciated!

Many thanks,

Mike Pettigrew
#appreciated #feedback #page #sales
  • Profile picture of the author Andrew Gould
    Hi Mike,

    Doesn't look like anyone's biting, so I'll try and get the ball rolling for you.

    You whole above the fold section is a bit messy and confusing, there's no dominant element so my eye doesn't know where to go.

    I really, really don't like trying to read your body copy against the lined background, and the amount of underlining you've used makes it even worse. (See how much easier it is to read your story on the plain background.)

    You appear to have more copy after you sign off than in the actual body of the letter. And it's better than your main copy. You don't want to hide your proof down there, it should be one of your main selling points. And the same goes for your sums to show the value of your product.

    Hope this helps you.
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    Andrew Gould

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  • Profile picture of the author maximus242
    The entire letter needs to be completely revamped. The structure of the letter itself is ridiculous. I think you need to swipe a proven letter and try using that as a example for advertising structure.
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    xResponsive Advertising Agency | Direct Marketing | Online Advertising | Create Breakthrough Campaigns for Your Business http://xresponsive.com

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    • Profile picture of the author Irish Intuition
      Wow, what is with all the underlining?

      This is an extremely competitive niche with a lot of crap
      for sale.

      Your page does not excite me enough. I am not sure I believe
      it will work and I got bored after about one minute reading.

      Its not the worst I have seen but you need a lot of polishing,
      both aesthetically and contextually.

      I hope I am not offending you Mike, just want to give you
      my honest opinion. This can be easily improved with a
      little hard work.
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  • Profile picture of the author Hans Klein
    Hi Mike... Here are a few quick comments from taking a glance:

    * How can you get more specific? "Truck loads of Hungry buyers" might be transformed into something with more specific claims like, "2052 FREE Visitors a Month, Which Produce $5,034.24 of Monthly Income". I am not saying you use this word-for-word, but do you see how much more powerful it is when you get specific? For one thing, it instantly implies your system is proven and tested.

    If you don't know your numbers, then you can do a case-study. Install stat tracking, create a separate sales page with a unique order link, and get to work.

    * Demonstration is the most powerful proof. Rather than telling what happens to the articles, show what happens. Show the software in action and show the results it achieves.

    You can do this by creating a demo with screen recording software. Keep this demo short and sweet. You don't need to go through every feature. The purpose is to give a quick demonstration of the software working it's magic... 1-2-3... Presto!

    * Think more about what's going on with the prospect. I suspect their biggest problem has little to do with wanting unique articles... but it's wanting to save time, save effort, save money, and generate more traffic to generate more sales. Solve their free traffic problems.

    Anyway, the piece does need some work. You're offering a free 7-day trial and so the work you've got to do is much simpler. All you've got to do is persuade the prospect to give it a shot. Give them a taste... show them how easy it is... and close by telling them it's risk-free. Just send an email before the 7 day period and you won't be charged 1 cent. So, what are you waiting? You can input your first article inside in just minutes from now.
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    The Montello Group
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